I still find myself doing the "namby-pamby" thing, but it's mostly a way of getting myself to *keep healing*, which is good as I was tired out of healing and that whole "at your own pace" thing. I don't have time for "my own, comfortable pace", lewl.
BTW., just remembered the poem Howl by Allen Ginsberg, and it sent shivers down my spine. The beginning:
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating
You know, not to toot my own horn (but to toot my own horn), I do sometimes feel like one of those greatest minds of the generation - kicked down and dragged down. But I won't relent. I have something to say. Better to burn out than to fade away, hey hey!
(02-20-2026, 10:30 PM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]Was thinking about the outward expression of my manly manliness.
I think what I've always been going for is a mix between Rob Halford of Judas Priest fame (with the slight difference I'm straight and he's most definitely not) and a gentelman-boxer, like Frank Bruno (there's a fascinating interview with him by the crazy-man Tyson Fury, somewhere on youtubes).
A question to Shannon - so, the improvements to ASS-ART that are in Stage 0 - are these the ones that made it into DMSI 5.2? Because if so, it should be worth the price of admission even if you own the previous 5.xes.
The improvements to Stage 0 are not necessarily ASS/ART. The two new technologies, they are making their debut in Stage 0.
Thanks for clarifying!
They appear to be working very well, though.
Got some nappy time in, had dreams - second time in a row I had dreams about guns and gun ownership, whch s probably related to sense of personal saftey/protection.
Other than that, upon waking up, I had Blind Guardian's The Soulforged going through my head, and I may have even shed a tear or two (not like proper waterowrks, just felt... I dunno, moved. In a very manly way, of course. Whenever this happens I feel better after, it's like a release of pent-up emotions accrued in the course of healing, I think).
Here's the lyrics
https://genius.com/Blind-guardian-the-soulforged-lyrics
I really like 'em.
Wonky Sensations have dialed dwn a touch, they're still going on in some areas, but f. in. my right leg area now fills, I dunno how to put it, "filled up" and light. Not so much with the heart area yet, but we're getting there. So it would appear FRM and OGSF are working really rapidly.
Just remember, for tears to be manly, they have to be rectangular or cubic.
Can they be triangular? They kinda feel triangular.
(02-22-2026, 12:15 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]Can they be triangular? They kinda feel triangular.
As long as they're angular (masculine) and not curvilinear (feminine). But cubic is best.
We'll see about that. For now, imagine a *bald eagle crying*.
Anyhow, today the program's been kicking my ass a touch. I think that something big is healing through (quite possibly the "right foot thing") and it's bringing me down, had to sleep it off. I did go to singing practice despite not feeling up to it, as well as to visit my crazy family for a while as they were visiting, to get family obligations outta the way. My older bro is annoying me to no end, acting all child-like TBH and refusing to deal with his issues (I mean, he is on meds, right, and it's made a world of difference - he's diagnosed as bipolar - so he's stopped *being aggressive* at least, but he refuses to pursue further treatment, like psychotherapy etc. And boy could he use it).
I have a lot of enthusiasm for a little practice I've been developing but I can't go into much detail here. I am actively seeking out communicties where to discuss this stuff because it's always nice to share with like-minded individuals and I think I've found a couple. Should be fun!
I'm a bit worried because it's been getting warmer and it has its pros, like me being able to go out and strut my stuff, but also the local element, various hoodrats and the like, have begun going out more as well and we'll see how they react to me being all manly without the DRS v2. Some do enjoy going all "alpha" on me and I'm always worried I'm going to have to go for fisticuffs, and that's always a hassle and carries its risks.
Playing my loops and feeling better. Wonky Sensations ™ indicative of FRM action going on, but there's less Fear to be Removed.
Now, I've been thinking some of how when my manly manliness gets going (I'm basing this on my life experiences as well as my experiences on various versions of DMSI) it gets somewhat polarizing. Now, people who believe in some stupid imaginary hierarachies, and then believe themselves to be the bees knees in a hierarachy they made up (especially if it's an informal hierarchy. These are utterly worthless, practically speaking, IMO) tend to go all aggro on me when I start going all God of Sex and Song on everyone's butts. This has gotten so bad at times - at work especially, and earlier at the music university - that I've been exposed to relentless mobbing because of that and now feel a bit like a cripple due to the damage done.
That's why I'm doing Stage 0. To rehabilitate the crippling damage and be not afraid of expressing all the goods I've got.
I can tell that US is working its magic as whatever activity I'm engaged in goes well (most recently, my Wonky Practices ™ and healing, as well as Operation: Decluterrification). Trouble is, most of the time - unless I hit on some sort of GSF or healing snag, which happens from time to time as of yet - I'm energized to *do constructive things* and don't feel like engaging in timewasters, but I currently *don't have all that much to do* - it was a good deal when I was PRAing solo, but now it's kinda annoying.
I'm wondering - since the program's goal is to, f. in., get people to find stable work and suchlike - does it have anything in it that would alter this situaton? Like manifestations and such? Because I could really go for more singing gigs, acting gigs, voice-acting gigs and translation gigs, in that order of preference. Heck, I could go for a full-time singing contract but those are mighty difficult to come by (although technically not impossible, just rare, especially in my country unless you don't mind doing chorus work, but even that is ruled by hardcore nepotism unfortunately. Such is this business I chose, the business of show, lol).
I do have some ideas what to do to counteract this, employing my Wonky Practices ™, but I'm wondering whether AM7 Stage 0 is gonna help me get this sorted out on its own as well.
Nearest auditions I'd like to attend are in *MAY*. And I applied to a singing gig recently (in *APRIL*) and am waiting for a response.
It's not like I'm going to run out of money anytime soon, it's just that I'd definitely feel more manly if I had more constructive stuff to do, y'know.
No manifestation in Stage 0.
(02-22-2026, 09:48 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]No manifestation in Stage 0.
Dang my experience said otherwise, right people come at the exactly right time 4 days in using AAMSv7 stage 0. Ok no manifestation, maybe this is called synchronicity, like what Carl Jung said.
(02-22-2026, 10:28 PM)Qiel Wrote: [ -> ] (02-22-2026, 09:48 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]No manifestation in Stage 0.
Dang my experience said otherwise, right people come at the exactly right time 4 days in using AAMSv7 stage 0. Ok no manifestation, maybe this is called synchronicity, like what Carl Jung said.
I sure do hope it's going to work out that way for me as well, as the added motivation to act makes me wanna see some action. Devoting more than 1 hour per day to focused singing practice is (most of the time) counterproductive, and I can only do so many push-ups, pull-ups and sit-ups. Hopefully the ultra success focus is going to work in my favor here.
By the by, I noticed that at the end of my PRA run and now the effect is tremendously amplified, is that things I really wanted to do, like declutter or achieve a regular physical regimen, I'm now doing in an off-handed way whilst previously I'd have to find progressively increasing willpower and exert effort of will to do them. This is awesome!
And I've only been on Stage 0 since Friday, heh.
Another thing of note - I am now less shy about checking women out, even doing an "attractiveness tally" in my head whilst doing so, hehe (something I did constantly when I was younger) and I'm also noticing that I find more types of women attractive somehow. Fancy that.
Oh yasssssss.
Something big must have cleared through because it's *victory lap time*.
And that means it's something that PRA stand-alone got stuck on. Because I haven't had a victory lap on it for some time.
To celebrate, I'm listening to two very manly songs:
Annihilator, from the aptly named album "Schizo Deluxe" - DRIVE (this one has some proper chest hair, heheh. Very straight-to-the-point lyrics as well)
And for some Americana: The Company Band - Love Means Never Having to Say You're Ugly. Lovin' the lyrics, found myself dancing about and singing out loud.
"I'm just looking for justice, a bit of that tit for tat,
And to do it with some style, a classic sense of panache
They done took my woman, so any man can understand
Rock 'em with atonal terror, shock 'em with the hands"
\m/
I wouldn't say it got stuck. I would say it didn't have sufficient time.
It also didn't have the two modules in it that are new tech in this one. They should tend to keep things moving forward at an increased pace.