(02-08-2024, 09:09 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Leads me to wonder if E6 and the broader range of healing and increased power would help. But is that also resistance? I don't know.
My personal thought on this is that it's a highly individual issue. It's something that we have to determine for ourselves and unfortunately, there's rarely a black and white, clean cut answer. For the past couple of years I've been following a basic code when it comes to subs. That code is this:
- Avoid subs that focus on reducing/removing the negative (i.e. OF, E-series, etc.). This helps me to avoid getting caught up in never-ending loops that would allow me to justify any lack of progress.
- Use subs that focus on improvement by increasing the positive (UMS, Maverick, US, AM, etc). This tends to be a roller coaster ride, but the overall self-improvement trend is positive and has clear, measurable milestones when looking back at outward results.
- Pick a sub that I'm willing to run for 12+ months and stick to that plan. For me, it generally takes 6+ months of use before I begin to see the outward results I just mentioned.
I'm not suggesting that you should follow my code. But setting a framework for yourself might be helpful. Even an imperfect framework can help to determine what works well and what doesn't. That can help you to correct course as needed.
(02-08-2024, 09:09 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Also since disrupting OGSF again i've had almost no desire to go out and socialize, don't really want to do anything much at all, thinking about going somewhere is making me uncomfortable and like I wouldn't enjoy it, or feeling that i'd just sit there quietly like a blob or something. This is frustrating because before I disrupted it I was starting to do more again and goto some things I usually wouldn't and enjoying it.
It could be that OGSF is guiding you to sit in your cave, spend time with yourself, and overcome those issues. There's nothing wrong with pulling away from social groups & functions, then emerging when you're ready. You might consider giving the sub a certain amount of time (in months) to do its thing, then re-evaluate what you want to do next. At that point, you should have a good idea of how well you're executing the sub versus how much misery you're dealing with. Realistically, if you've used a sub for a year and you've experienced pure hell for months on end, it's probably time to move on.
Quote:My personal thought on this is that it's a highly individual issue. It's something that we have to determine for ourselves and unfortunately, there's rarely a black and white, clean cut answer. For the past couple of years I've been following a basic code when it comes to subs. That code is this:
- Avoid subs that focus on reducing/removing the negative (i.e. OF, E-series, etc.). This helps me to avoid getting caught up in never-ending loops that would allow me to justify any lack of progress.
- Use subs that focus on improvement by increasing the positive (UMS, Maverick, US, AM, etc). This tends to be a roller coaster ride, but the overall self-improvement trend is positive and has clear, measurable milestones when looking back at outward results.
- Pick a sub that I'm willing to run for 12+ months and stick to that plan. For me, it generally takes 6+ months of use before I begin to see the outward results I just mentioned.
I'm not suggesting that you should follow my code. But setting a framework for yourself might be helpful. Even an imperfect framework can help to determine what works well and what doesn't. That can help you to correct course as needed.
Yeah the weird thing is in some ways it feels like the more i'm doing healing programs the deeper i'm getting into a hole.
LTU gave positive progress in a few areas, OF v3 actually did too as I started doing martial arts again, UH did as I started dating again, though I haven't managed to recover since breaking up with my last gf, OGSF seems to have taken me further away from that.
I'm thinking the next one for me should be something focused on a goal that isn't healing.
What's fucked up is the more 'healing' i've done the more I seem to get further away from certain goals like being with girls, even fitness stuff like alot of drive has lessened, and money.
Quote:It could be that OGSF is guiding you to sit in your cave, spend time with yourself, and overcome those issues. There's nothing wrong with pulling away from social groups & functions, then emerging when you're ready. You might consider giving the sub a certain amount of time (in months) to do its thing, then re-evaluate what you want to do next. At that point, you should have a good idea of how well you're executing the sub versus how much misery you're dealing with. Realistically, if you've used a sub for a year and you've experienced pure hell for months on end, it's probably time to move on.
I did go through this at the start of OGSF v2 for like 3 months or more. It almost is like when I did another process to disrupt it that it reset that progress. Either that or it's going deeper. But it definately seems more down than up in the whole time i've used V1 and V2.
I decided I needed to get out of the house earlier today and I did, but my energy was so low I only went to the supermarket to get a drink and then decided to come back home.
Also a high level of anxiety, more than I remember in a long time. So much so that I was struggling to even get out of the car and go into the supermarket (the low energy likely also contributed) but I made myself do it and was okay when I did.
I remember this a few times in the past happening rarely, but not for a long time. Had alot of stuff coming up the last few weeks, sadness, insecurity, feeling really down. Hard to differentiate it from the physical stuff going on which is also contributing.
My acupuncturist said to stop these herbs too now as it really is meant to have the opposite reaction and give heaps of energy. I feel a little better tonight after not having them today.
Glad to be on my off period of listening at the moment starting today.
Definately seems like the more 'healing' I do the more of a hole I seem to get into.
(02-09-2024, 11:27 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]I decided I needed to get out of the house earlier today and I did, but my energy was so low I only went to the supermarket to get a drink and then decided to come back home.
Also a high level of anxiety, more than I remember in a long time. So much so that I was struggling to even get out of the car and go into the supermarket (the low energy likely also contributed) but I made myself do it and was okay when I did.
I remember this a few times in the past happening rarely, but not for a long time. Had alot of stuff coming up the last few weeks, sadness, insecurity, feeling really down. Hard to differentiate it from the physical stuff going on which is also contributing.
My acupuncturist said to stop these herbs too now as it really is meant to have the opposite reaction and give heaps of energy. I feel a little better tonight after not having them today.
Glad to be on my off period of listening at the moment starting today.
Definately seems like the more 'healing' I do the more of a hole I seem to get into.
Hope you'll feel better soon!
Does OGSF2 bring up the anxiety?
Dang seems like you’ve been going through rough patch after rough patch with OGSF2. I remember my OGSF1 run was like that. I still have rough patches on OGSF2 but there’s gaps where I see awesome results so I’m more inspired than when I was on OGSF1. Just wanted to let you know that it can get better! Keep running the faucet and the dirty water will clear into clean water eventually.
(Pasted from my response on another journal, as it applies here).
I'm trying to decide whether to switch to E6 and if it's resistance or not. It sounds like it may have been similar for you, but i'm not trying to put words in your mouth so wanted to check by asking if it was similar for you.
The whole time listening almost to OGSF v2 I feel that i've got deeper and deeper into a hole, losing interest in alot of things that have been 'my thing' and that keep me going like working out or training. And just feeling more depressed, not feeling like doing anything, not feeling like socializing etc. I've come across these things before in other programs but not to this level, and it's got especially intense recently. A high level of hopelessness and dark thoughts, like just wanting to give up completely.
And like i'm disconnected from everyone, more insecurities than in a long time around other people, and not really seeing a way out of this hole. I've had some low points but I feel that on OGSF v2 it's the lowest i've been without really seeing a way out nor having much energy or strength to do much about it.
And that's when i've been fairly comfortable socially for quite a while now, on and off, but not 'off' this much for a long time. Had maybe a few interesting things on V2 but on the whole nearly 5 months of listening (admittedly a few times i've derailed it) things have just got noticably worse.
I'm seeing a little bit of a pattern with what others have reported on OGSF v2 that seem to match some of this and several of us switching to E6 because of it.
I can't handle continuing OGSF.
Looking at my journal of UH and OGSF and thinking about the difference.. it's done 'some' stuff, but really it's dug me deeper into a hole of hopelessness. No desire to socialize or go far, obviously not helped by diahhrea and such from the chinese herbs, losing interest in almost everything. Wheras on UH I remember going out and exploring more and genuinely enjoying it and had alot more positives. So E6 being more focused on emotional as there isn't the additional physical healing like in UH will be more beneficial for me.
A few occasional posts in this journal early on of positive stuff, but over time it's just got worse. The intensity has reached a very high level, a few very intense nights in bed, one night just laying there thinking I just want the pain to end, both physical and emotional. I don't want to expand on that too much as it may come across as a serious thing, but some fairly dark thoughts with that. I thought it passed but it's come up another few nights too in the last week or two.
A little better this week, energy coming back after stopping herbs completely. Did a couple of workouts.
If I had to sum up OGSF v2 it's basically going deeper and deeper into hopelessness and not really resolving it, each time going deeper and not finding much enjoyment in anything. I've had some very strong intensity come up with other programs, but not to this level. It also feels similar to what Magnus said, there are some other intense emotions that may not be related to guilt, shame, fear.
E6 has alot more 'support' stuff that I feel would be beneficial, and others reporting issues on OGSF have reported it improving on E6.
OGSF v2 was like continually tearing me down more and more, but never building me up, just leaving me there in a hole and I don't know what the fuck to do or how to get out of it other than keep listening.. oh yeah now the hole is deeper.
Even reading my UH journal compared to this journal there's a big difference in my vibe, on UH it seemed fairly good, with OGSF dark, down, hopelessness.
So i'm not continuing it, it's not going to solve it, continually for nearly 5 months with the same old "it's just around the corner, obviously it's working on something big now, it must be going to pass soon" etc.. then nope, it just gets worse.
A bit more time off maybe another few days to a week or so (i'm around day 5 of my off days) and thinking about what to do next.
Either going back to methods I applied myself that actually helped me change behaviours and habits and achieve goals or to E6 to deal with what OGSF has brought up. I don't really like writing up stuff like this, but this has been my experience with OGSF.
Last Day Of Listening - 9/2/24.
@
Benjamin
Wow that's sounds intense!!
I guess it's not supposed to be that way?
What does Shannon say about it? It mean if it's too intense without any emotional support then the program might be too harsh?
Thanks and hope E6 will get you where you want man!
After my 6 days off I felt like I could listen again and have the last 2 days.
Feeling better than I was. But i've noticed both yesterday I was really tired after listening, today after listening feeling really tired and a bit depressed wheras before listening I felt good and wanted to go out somewhere.
Still considering going to other things, but something is keeping me listening for now.
I think it might be a good idea to at least finish since you’re only 1 month away. You’re almost at the finish line.