02-09-2023, 07:28 AM
I want to start journalling, not to report on programs, not to share things with whoever is reading, but for my own mind. There is a lot to extract, many thoughts and ideas have been going on lately that I think it’s better if I just spell it out on paper.
I could have definitely gone with offline journalling but I am not sure how consistent I can be with that, just knowing the fact that someone might read this makes me express in a better way.
I am currently running DMSI only, hybrid format 1 loop 1 day on, and few days off depending on how I feel. Honestly I feel strong TID from Maverick, my thoughts and feelings feel like it reached a point where all it wants to do is just push through limitation.
I would like to start expressing my macro life first, before anything, I want to express how grateful I am for where I stand now, in terms of everything from career to lifestyle, they say gratitude opens the door and with that I shall open my door. With that being said, let me start with my career.
I am a young engineer who has only a very few years of experience, however, upon graduation I have landed one of the best paid jobs in pretty much the best company in my country. And again, for that I am grateful, many would die to be in my shoes. However as I go about my day job as an engineer I just feel lack of purpose I feel this is not for me really, looking at senior engineer at the office thinking in my head, is that where I am heading to? Money is good, but this is definitely not my limit. I want more, much much much much more. So yes, I feel my career is not really my purpose, its not my passion is not what drives me its not what wakes me up in the morning, but quitting is also not an option here. This company is great, they have zero pressure on employees, its one of the very few companies that comes close to ‘’you are your own boss’’ thing, its like if you want to grow further then start driving yourself higher within the company and if not then you will just receive the same salary. That’s why this company is so ideal for both those who strive to grow within the company, or for those who are looking to grow something else outside the company but choose to still get paid.
Now to really understand where I am coming from, couple years before graduation I started Trading Forex market, I am a very ambitious person, despite knowing that this industry is filled with scammers, I still got into it, I spend the last 7 or so years trading, even though after 7 years I am still not profitable but looking back now, choosing to trade have made me grow exponentially, just having something that consistently crashing my ego over and over have built an awareness within me. I treated my trading approach professionally, I have set up real goals and real approaches, I have spent hundreds of hours researching and studying, I have spent thousands of hours screening candle charts. I have set up goals of being a multi-millionaire. I did not make it yet, in fact I have switched from active trading to single stock picking trading. Which is a slower approach to my goals.
That’s why when I look at my day job compared to my trading potential, I just feel the conventional job is never going to take me financially to where I want to go. But as it appears, short term trading maybe cants take me there either despite years and years of doing. The least I can do is keep up with stock picking and holding “the Buffett way”
Now that my career is outside there, I want to highlight my routine behavior, I feel there is some potential here to be made.
My routine looks like this.
Wake up > go to work Or work from home > workout > gaming > dinner with family (not married) > sleep
This is the simple routine, however, I want to highlight the gaming part, because I keep feeling nothing worth while, I keep getting my dopamine source from competitive video game, I spend hours playing sometimes with friends sometimes solo, it’s a very competitive Esport, however I feel I am just spending too much hours per day in gaming mode, which affects my communication in the outer world and also affects my sleep. I have decided to delete the game and only reinstall on a request from friends basis to play, after that I delete it again. I feel it was getting too much. The issue is, my mind became addicted to this source of dopamine, so whenever I am out and about, I would constantly feel I want to get back home to play, which is a major issue to stay present, I shouldn’t be thinking about gaming when I am out and about. I shouldn’t prioritize getting back home just to play. I understand that competitive E-sport game can have positive impact like developing my attitude but now after years of playing I feel I should just stop.
Another major issue is Micro cell phone use, literally whenever I have split of seconds I would immediately pick up my phone and start aimlessly and purposeless switching between different apps, from Instagram to WhatsApp to snapchat and the cycle goes on and on, never ending attention destroyer. I don’t feel human anymore with this habit. I understand this is a major and common theme in the world right now, but I feel with the level of awareness I have gained from Trading, this habit needs to stop with me, its not acceptable to my attention span. I have deleted most social apps, and kept them on my secondary phone which I keep at home only and check it out twice or once per day, I think this way I am not missing out nor I am destroying my attention.
When I look around me and see how people behave and what they believe in and how their perception is, just makes me wonder how asleep someone can be. I am not judging but I can’t help it but observe, I have a highly analytical and observant mind especially to small details.
Beside getting my dopamine from gaming, I also read a lot of books, ranging from psychology to biology and you name it, basically I am hungry for knowledge, I just want to know, reading have slowed down a lot recently because whenever I pick up a book or eBook I just feel it was written to be sold not because the writer have something solid to share.
Now going back to subliminal, I feel DMSI is the most and the best sub that suited me ever, everything else just doesn’t feel right for me. I am a very highly sexual person so yea, perhaps that’s why.
I may just continue the use of DMSI or switch to Maverick, I am not sure, I will need to read the description and decide, because If I choose Maverick, that means it’s a long-term commitment. I am not going to buy something for more than $1000 only to use it for a few months.
Anyways this is getting too long now, it all started when I texted a friend and asked her, ‘’what do you do when you feel stuck in your head?’’ she replied ‘’I write’’
So I thought to give it a chance.
I could have definitely gone with offline journalling but I am not sure how consistent I can be with that, just knowing the fact that someone might read this makes me express in a better way.
I am currently running DMSI only, hybrid format 1 loop 1 day on, and few days off depending on how I feel. Honestly I feel strong TID from Maverick, my thoughts and feelings feel like it reached a point where all it wants to do is just push through limitation.
I would like to start expressing my macro life first, before anything, I want to express how grateful I am for where I stand now, in terms of everything from career to lifestyle, they say gratitude opens the door and with that I shall open my door. With that being said, let me start with my career.
I am a young engineer who has only a very few years of experience, however, upon graduation I have landed one of the best paid jobs in pretty much the best company in my country. And again, for that I am grateful, many would die to be in my shoes. However as I go about my day job as an engineer I just feel lack of purpose I feel this is not for me really, looking at senior engineer at the office thinking in my head, is that where I am heading to? Money is good, but this is definitely not my limit. I want more, much much much much more. So yes, I feel my career is not really my purpose, its not my passion is not what drives me its not what wakes me up in the morning, but quitting is also not an option here. This company is great, they have zero pressure on employees, its one of the very few companies that comes close to ‘’you are your own boss’’ thing, its like if you want to grow further then start driving yourself higher within the company and if not then you will just receive the same salary. That’s why this company is so ideal for both those who strive to grow within the company, or for those who are looking to grow something else outside the company but choose to still get paid.
Now to really understand where I am coming from, couple years before graduation I started Trading Forex market, I am a very ambitious person, despite knowing that this industry is filled with scammers, I still got into it, I spend the last 7 or so years trading, even though after 7 years I am still not profitable but looking back now, choosing to trade have made me grow exponentially, just having something that consistently crashing my ego over and over have built an awareness within me. I treated my trading approach professionally, I have set up real goals and real approaches, I have spent hundreds of hours researching and studying, I have spent thousands of hours screening candle charts. I have set up goals of being a multi-millionaire. I did not make it yet, in fact I have switched from active trading to single stock picking trading. Which is a slower approach to my goals.
That’s why when I look at my day job compared to my trading potential, I just feel the conventional job is never going to take me financially to where I want to go. But as it appears, short term trading maybe cants take me there either despite years and years of doing. The least I can do is keep up with stock picking and holding “the Buffett way”
Now that my career is outside there, I want to highlight my routine behavior, I feel there is some potential here to be made.
My routine looks like this.
Wake up > go to work Or work from home > workout > gaming > dinner with family (not married) > sleep
This is the simple routine, however, I want to highlight the gaming part, because I keep feeling nothing worth while, I keep getting my dopamine source from competitive video game, I spend hours playing sometimes with friends sometimes solo, it’s a very competitive Esport, however I feel I am just spending too much hours per day in gaming mode, which affects my communication in the outer world and also affects my sleep. I have decided to delete the game and only reinstall on a request from friends basis to play, after that I delete it again. I feel it was getting too much. The issue is, my mind became addicted to this source of dopamine, so whenever I am out and about, I would constantly feel I want to get back home to play, which is a major issue to stay present, I shouldn’t be thinking about gaming when I am out and about. I shouldn’t prioritize getting back home just to play. I understand that competitive E-sport game can have positive impact like developing my attitude but now after years of playing I feel I should just stop.
Another major issue is Micro cell phone use, literally whenever I have split of seconds I would immediately pick up my phone and start aimlessly and purposeless switching between different apps, from Instagram to WhatsApp to snapchat and the cycle goes on and on, never ending attention destroyer. I don’t feel human anymore with this habit. I understand this is a major and common theme in the world right now, but I feel with the level of awareness I have gained from Trading, this habit needs to stop with me, its not acceptable to my attention span. I have deleted most social apps, and kept them on my secondary phone which I keep at home only and check it out twice or once per day, I think this way I am not missing out nor I am destroying my attention.
When I look around me and see how people behave and what they believe in and how their perception is, just makes me wonder how asleep someone can be. I am not judging but I can’t help it but observe, I have a highly analytical and observant mind especially to small details.
Beside getting my dopamine from gaming, I also read a lot of books, ranging from psychology to biology and you name it, basically I am hungry for knowledge, I just want to know, reading have slowed down a lot recently because whenever I pick up a book or eBook I just feel it was written to be sold not because the writer have something solid to share.
Now going back to subliminal, I feel DMSI is the most and the best sub that suited me ever, everything else just doesn’t feel right for me. I am a very highly sexual person so yea, perhaps that’s why.
I may just continue the use of DMSI or switch to Maverick, I am not sure, I will need to read the description and decide, because If I choose Maverick, that means it’s a long-term commitment. I am not going to buy something for more than $1000 only to use it for a few months.
Anyways this is getting too long now, it all started when I texted a friend and asked her, ‘’what do you do when you feel stuck in your head?’’ she replied ‘’I write’’
So I thought to give it a chance.
![[Image: BsnUhZW.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/BsnUhZW.jpg)