I’ve been getting TID from OGSF for awhile and the main thing that’s being brought up is shame. Fear and shame are my main problems. I may or may not be detailed or frequent in my posts, but I’ll at least give a gist of what’s happening and my progress on my journey, like I did with my OF journal.
I’ll be taking a week break from OF4 then I’ll be started on OGSF.
So far OGSF reminds me of AM6. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the emotional rawness I’m experiencing or something. So far OGSF feels smooth and it seems to be better at pushing me to push harder when overcoming my issues. I’m learning just how big of a problem shame is for me. It and fear are holding me back from a lot of things. For example, MLS probably wouldn’t do much for me because I’m afraid and ashamed of failure because I’ve been made to believe that frustration or failure is a sign of my own inadequacy and that I will be humiliated and ostracized for it. This isn’t just a problem with learning, but trying anything new and unfamiliar.
No wonder I don’t want to do anything productive. Until I solve these deeply rooted issues, nothing will change with my situation.
I’m trying to wait a bit before I start using ASR with OGSF so that I can get a feel for OGSF by itself first.
P.S I’ve been off porn very consistently with only a few relapses here and there for several months. In that time I’ve still masturbated but nowhere as frequently as I used to. I used to do it multiple times a day, now it’s a few times a week. I’m aiming to lower that amount even more and maybe even stop altogether if possible. OGSF seems to be helping with the urge to masturbate that comes from the urge to escape emotional pain. Hopefully this keeps up.
Edit: I’m listening to ultrasonic and I’m following the directions exactly so far.
I’ve been dealing with the deepest issues lately. I’ve been facing the ultimate despair that is: I cannot escape death. Doesn’t matter if we discover eternal youth and against all odds I never have an accident. The universe will end someday regardless. I’m afraid to die. The only peace I’ve had so far has been that I was dead before I was born, and there’s nothing I can do to change that I will die and it’s not death that is painful, but the fear of death. There have been brief flashes of peace at this realization, but I’m still dealing with the fear of death.
There are also really old traumas I’m dealing with. I’m talking childhood. I don’t know how early for sure, just that it’s before 13.
(02-24-2023, 12:38 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I’ve been dealing with the deepest issues lately. I’ve been facing the ultimate despair that is: I cannot escape death. Doesn’t matter if we discover eternal youth and against all odds I never have an accident. The universe will end someday regardless. I’m afraid to die. The only peace I’ve had so far has been that I was dead before I was born, and there’s nothing I can do to change that I will die and it’s not death that is painful, but the fear of death. There have been brief flashes of peace at this realization, but I’m still dealing with the fear of death.
There are also really old traumas I’m dealing with. I’m talking childhood. I don’t know how early for sure, just that it’s before 13.
I have escaped death itself and I was not afraid even when I was close to it. I have been able to let go of attachments. Minimalism helped greatly maybe you should look into it (so did Buddhism). There are many tools at your disposal if death is something you're afraid of. I'm not really worried about losing any material things it's nothing I will take with me anyway and family is the only thing i'll miss but they have their own journey and so do I. I hope you overcome your fears.
(02-24-2023, 07:19 PM)AbundanceCH Wrote: [ -> ] (02-24-2023, 12:38 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I’ve been dealing with the deepest issues lately. I’ve been facing the ultimate despair that is: I cannot escape death. Doesn’t matter if we discover eternal youth and against all odds I never have an accident. The universe will end someday regardless. I’m afraid to die. The only peace I’ve had so far has been that I was dead before I was born, and there’s nothing I can do to change that I will die and it’s not death that is painful, but the fear of death. There have been brief flashes of peace at this realization, but I’m still dealing with the fear of death.
There are also really old traumas I’m dealing with. I’m talking childhood. I don’t know how early for sure, just that it’s before 13.
I have escaped death itself and I was not afraid even when I was close to it. I have been able to let go of attachments. Minimalism helped greatly maybe you should look into it (so did Buddhism). There are many tools at your disposal if death is something you're afraid of. I'm not really worried about losing any material things it's nothing I will take with me anyway and family is the only thing i'll miss but they have their own journey and so do I. I hope you overcome your fears.
I used to put off my fear of death with different mental coping mechanisms (religion, pleasure, distractions, delusional optimism, etc.). I assume most people are like this, so when I hear people say they aren’t afraid of death I hear “I have learned to put off my fear of death” or “I am afraid of death, but it is expressed in my fear of clowns or spiders (or whatever)”. When you get to the core of it all, fear is the fear of death. Anyone who feels fear is afraid of death. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt though since I can’t know how someone else’s brain works. I can only make conclusions off my own brain and my observations of other people from that viewpoint.
Also, I’m not afraid of losing my stuff when I die. I’m afraid, among other things, of losing all life has to offer. I’m getting to the good parts of life (thanks to subliminals) and I think about all the awesome stuff I’ll never get to experience when I’m dead. It was easier for me to be less scared of dying when my life sucked, but now that things are going to get awesome I don’t want to lose all of that. Also, when I’m dead I won’t
be anymore.
I am showing positive progress though. We shall see how things go.
(02-25-2023, 12:49 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ] (02-24-2023, 07:19 PM)AbundanceCH Wrote: [ -> ]I have escaped death itself and I was not afraid even when I was close to it. I have been able to let go of attachments. Minimalism helped greatly maybe you should look into it (so did Buddhism). There are many tools at your disposal if death is something you're afraid of. I'm not really worried about losing any material things it's nothing I will take with me anyway and family is the only thing i'll miss but they have their own journey and so do I. I hope you overcome your fears.
I used to put off my fear of death with different mental coping mechanisms (religion, pleasure, distractions, delusional optimism, etc.). I assume most people are like this, so when I hear people say they aren’t afraid of death I hear “I have learned to put off my fear of death” or “I am afraid of death, but it is expressed in my fear of clowns or spiders (or whatever)”. When you get to the core of it all, fear is the fear of death. Anyone who feels fear is afraid of death. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt though since I can’t know how someone else’s brain works. I can only make conclusions off my own brain and my observations of other people from that viewpoint.
Also, I’m not afraid of losing my stuff when I die. I’m afraid, among other things, of losing all life has to offer. I’m getting to the good parts of life (thanks to subliminals) and I think about all the awesome stuff I’ll never get to experience when I’m dead. It was easier for me to be less scared of dying when my life sucked, but now that things are going to get awesome I don’t want to lose all of that. Also, when I’m dead I won’t be anymore.
I am showing positive progress though. We shall see how things go.
I almost died last year but because I have been working on my own self improvement for so long plus buddhism I wasn't scared. But I agree with you that yes a lot of the fear of death can be due to missing out on the good things in life. But for me i've eaten so much good food and had sex so many times that the only thing I feel i would be missing is traveling. But even that when I think deeply it's not that important. It's just to satisfy the ego because when you are a happy person you are happy whenever you are. You don't need outside stimuli.
If i could give you some advice that might then that would be it. Go for those things that you feel you would miss out on and maybe that will help with that fear. But as with everything in life once you get those things you will realize they weren't such a big deal anyway and not really important in the scheme of things.
Guys, let's not forget Rule #4 please.
How's it going with OGSF?
(03-29-2023, 03:52 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]How's it going with OGSF?
Lots of stuff happening under the surface, but I’ve just decided to post as little as possible. There have been ups that have been amazing and have given me hope for what’s to come within the next few years. I’ve also had some severe downs due to dealing with heavy childhood trauma. The results are of a higher quality than any subliminal I’ve ever used (latest subliminal I used was LTU6 5.75.6G). There is a lot more… ‘traction’ with the healing in OGSF than other healing subs I’ve used. The results feel deceptively slow and steady. OGSF is helping me overcome issues a part of me had secretly given up on solving in a reasonable timeframe.
Edit: Also it shocks me when I realize I’m almost 2 months in now, but it feels like I’ve been running OGSF for 2-3 times longer. Also these past few days I’ve been dealing with more shame, whereas the majority of the time fear is the dominant emotion being worked on. Guilt comes up here and there but I kind of have a hard time noticing guilt for some reason.
That's awesome. Good to hear.
I also like hearing these things because i'll be using OGSF soon.
What other healing programs had you used other than what was contained in LTU?
Ok, you just convinced me to do OGSF next instead of E5. Given this and Shannon’s reply to my thread that the best current option for trauma is OGSF.
(03-29-2023, 06:41 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]That's awesome. Good to hear.
I also like hearing these things because i'll be using OGSF soon.
What other healing programs had you used other than what was contained in LTU?
The only pure healing program I remember running was EPHRA 5.5G years ago (for only a month). Other than that it’s just been healing from programs that have OGSF/EPHRA in them like AM6, LTU6 and UMS1 (I think UMS1 had EPHRA/OGSF in it).
(03-29-2023, 09:48 PM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok, you just convinced me to do OGSF next instead of E5. Given this and Shannon’s reply to my thread that the best current option for trauma is OGSF.
Yeah OGSF is pretty awesome.
Side note: I’ve been avoiding reading other OGSF journals to avoid comparing my results to others. I think it has paid off so far and I will probably take this stance on most things I run from now on.