Subliminal Talk

So I wanted to record something here, maybe for future reference or maybe just to write it down as it seems so weird. Well, it might be just my silly mind.

But... about 6-7 days ago I thought that I will give maverick a go when I finish with OGSF. I now I am not ready but I also know I am never going to be. I know is not the perfect time, yet again, assessing my life, I know it will never be. Life is too short to play it safe. The worst it can happen is I will be taught another hard lesson.

Keep in mind that I am very sensitive to TID. I have been so much that whenever I decided on a subliminal in the past I get TID few hours later. So. The last few days I have been having the feeling of experiencing TID, I had some change of thinking like I went to a Tony Robbins or any of the self-development bootcamps and I have been brainwashed to think differently and be different. I've have been questioning so many things I am doing and how to do them differently and being forced to step up rather than find excuses. In fact my mind is forced to spot the excuses and bring them to surface so that I see how much BS they are. I had some other experienced as well but they are mainly under the umbrella of what I already described.

The funny thing is, consciously I never understood what Maverick does... I read some things here and there in the forum and its description. Most probably my subconscious knows more and is just constructing stuff.

I don't know if its my mind going overdrive and giving silly effects. I am not even sure TID can take place like that... at three months earlier from the very first listen of a program.

Well, all this is helping anyway because it makes me want to indeed step up and improve my life.

Now, the obvious question I didn't make but just though. Is there a change all this is done by OGSF's workings? If you had to ask me intuitively I would say no, it reminds me of TID. But if TID, without a doubt, cannot go so much back... then it is OGSF.

8th cycle, 4th day ON.

Today marks the half mark of my OGSF 1st run journey. Happy I am able to reach this far and bear with it.

The last few days were tough. I am constantly overwhelmed, some days I had to deal with very high levels of anxiety and I get frustrated easily. Three days ago I listened to ASR for 55 minutes, anxiety was still high and 2 hours later took a librax pill to calm down and 30-40 minutes after the pill it KOed me to sleep. I woke up better but still tense.

It is not necessarily the OGSF that causes this. I had this from time to time before I listen to OGSF as well. In fact the program might be handling it at some level.
I don't know what is being worked during the last run. All I know is I am thinking differently, I care less about some insignificant things and I minimized my distractions which is something that I had since last entry and identified as TID from thinking about listening to maverick program next.

It's been a while to post in this journal. Today is first ON day. Not sure which cycle. Life has been very busy. I'm working on a new home business I plan to start during Summer. I find that I care less about fear of failure.

A lot of dreams which some times I understand some others not. Fear of conflict is still here and strong. And some days anxiety has been overwhelming. And not much manageable. Still going, just another 6 weeks remaining.