Difficult night, had a stomach ache, woke up restless, sleep wasn't that great. I believe the stomach ache is from detox symptoms.
However, I woke up feeling confident I can do this. My anxiety/stress levels are low/back to normal. My nervous system is still a bit tense.
Switched to masked ocean, did four loops, did not listen to ASR before with the intention of listening to it after the loops; however I didn't as I have a meeting and need to drive as well. Will probably listen to it later in the day.
Masked version gave me no hard time at all.
Not much to report. Did the four loops this morning, all still very well on masked ocean version. Volume is as recommended. I listened to ASR as well just to see if it gives me that sensation I had yesterday and send me to that relaxing sleep. I really enjoy this and afterwards my vitality and energy is really high.
Fingers crossed, it seems I will be able to complete the whole four months. Went through that hardship the first day, maybe to get my mental toughness up haha
Yesterday was my first day off. Fears were triggered, subconsciously. I don't know what exactly was triggered/ being healed.
Anxiety was high, same as today so far. Yesterday at some point I was calming down the thought came up that maybe it was a good idea to play one loop of OGSF and that it was going to take care of my anxiety and help the process of what it was working on. I am not sure if this was the auto-config module. I'm going to stick to the instructions for the first 2-3 weeks before I attempt any changes. I remember with DMSI the auto-config module was getting more and more obvious on what I should be doing differently so I will wait for more confirmations before any changes.
2nd day of 2nd cycle. Things are going pretty well with bearing the program. I have no trouble with anxiety/stress, yesterday I didn't even listen the ASR and I was fine. Anxiety/stress in daily life is lower and I am taking/doing nothing to lower it anyway. The only thing I still do for anxiety is taking the ghee because it prevents anxiety related headaches which are tough.
Something happened yesterday. I am not sure if it's a result from the program but my experience from emotional healing is that a change does not happen or at least does not happen that easily by doing nothing or with minimal effort.
My work is very stressful, it is very toxic and the industry is very manipulative and full of "legal" scams (that's what I call them). In the past I had several experiences in which I said enough is enough. But at the end, as I knew I have nothing else to work with for my financial survival I was holding tight to this work.
Yesterday one of these experiences happened and I was so furious. I had enough. I decided I quit and I took action towards this decision. It is not that I just took the decision but that I took action towards it, knowing the possible consequences.
The different mindset this time is that I don't care about the consequences, I don't care if its going to affect my life financially. I felt empowered on this instance and I still am and I am not even considering changing my decision. As time passes I am more and more confident about my decision. I found peace and I like this peace, freedom and detachment. I know it might be difficult to figure out something else, acquire news skills, get a new job. However I am not in that old "prison" any more.
I have some doubts about this program being the reason of this whole situation, this empowerment. Maybe somehow it indeed help to overcome these fears. If it is the program, with such little use, I am awed.
If it is the program, handling such a huge fear, a huge chapter in my life, with no drama and side effects... that is amazing.
Quick edit...
Now that I think about it again...
How is my stress/anxiety levels low... when I am in a situation where financially I am in trouble? Things are going really well! And as for ASR, last time I used it was 6-7 days ago.
Two weeks ago I was going to be so much troubled in such a situation...
On first day of break (two days ago), I had the desire to play one loop of OGSF again as my last break. I had this feeling that it will take care of heightened stress levels but also will be beneficial to the work I do with this program.
I observed that the days off are tougher than the days I listen to the program.
Second day of my break I woke up with heightened stress levels. I decided to run the ASR for 55 minutes and I felt way better afterwards.
I have been eating a lot more and a lot of comfort food the last week, chocolates, cheese and anything tasty. I feel scared when I am outside like people will attack me and I get into imaginative loops all the time with what I will do, fight do this, do that. It is not something unfamiliar with me. It gets triggered once a month but not for several days like now.
Today (3rd day of break), stress is higher than general. If you would ask me right now what the best listening pattern would have been to me is 3-4-4-3-1-1-0-0. I will of course not changing my listening loop but the indications so far tell me that there is an adjustment needed at some point. Not that this schedule doesn't work but a different would be more efficient both for smoother stress management, acceptance of the program by my mind (so that it works better) and for the workings of it. That's what I think, that's what I tell, can't know for sure if I am right or wrong.
Follow your urges on how to use the program. That's what AutoConfig is for!
I changed my schedule with loops to 3-4-4-3-1-1-0-0. I wasn't going to as to maybe it is self-sabotage of some kind but as Shannon recommends to listen to my instinct I will see how it goes.
I noticed that on the 3rd and 4th day off I was depressed, had no motivation for life and I was overwhelmed. First day of 3rd cycle today and 10 minutes after listening to the first loop everything changed. No depression, want to move on in life, completed several tasks I had piled up the last few days. I am thinking the program works very well on its goals however I am hoping the new adjustment will make the process smoother. I believe there are elements in the program which do work very well on making the process easier but their effects diminish when I don't listen for that long. I am noticing this happening from the first day off and it gets stronger and stronger until I enter a new listening cycle. I will notice how the new schedule works out, hopefully it will be smoother.
I also decided to eat as much later in the day as it helps me to eat less. After I eat for the first time in the day I enter a cycle of eating junk food every two hours. I skip breakfast (replaced it with just a fruit) and prepare something healthy for lunch so that I cover half the day in a healthy manner. Otherwise, If I continue like that, I see myself putting 3-5kg within the next three months.
Today is the the 3rd day of the OFF days.
I followed the schedule for this cycle, 3-4-4-3 for ON days. On the first and second day of the OFF days I did 1 loop. This change definitely had a good effect. The cycle seems to be more smooth. I had lower anxiety levels, feelings of sadness are at a minimal. The only adjustment I think I'll do is for the ON days go with 4-4-4-3.
Yesterday I had to listen to ASR last time and unfortunately paused my ASR subscription. Another company in the industry I work for is long delaying my payout which only reminds me of what usually happens in these cases... they will just figure out a way to deny my payout as they did to so many other individuals. A ton of reviews and comments are out from other people which also complain. As a result I am more financially challenged and need to cut on expenses immediately. If by any chance I get the payout I will resume listening to ASR but for now I need to figure out a different game to handle high stress levels. Might just use some librax on extreme days to calm myself. The one loop listen on the first two OFF days seems to be helping so far.
Last night I saw a dream which relates to a fear I have in relationships. It was tough. I don't believe this fear is resolved. I know the program was working on it on the second cycle and it seems its working on it again. When I think about the fear I still know it exists.
Today is the end of the 4th cycle and 1 month of usage. I have locked on 3-4-4-3-1-1-0-0 listening pattern. It has proven to be what I need for now.
I am glad I have been able to reach so far. I thought I was not going to make it for a whole month but congratulations go to Shannon for making it possible to handle difficult cases like mine (high stress, feeling overwhelmed/overworked after emotional healing, whatever comes up is very bold and makes me being stuck and doing nothing in a room).
Nevertheless I had a difficult time the last few days. I was exhausted all day, every day. At some point I slept for 13 hours straight even though I never sleep more than 8 hours. Maybe it was some kind of a virus. I don't believe it was the program even if I see some individuals saying that it exhausts them. My experience was such so far. Time will verify if I am mistaken.
Today I am back to normal, feeling good, a bit tired but didn't have a proper night's sleep. The 4th day of the OFF cycle was always my worst, but today I am feeling fine.
Today is 2nd OFF day of 5th cycle.
I haven't been actively posting information here the last two weeks as there is nothing significant to report.
The auto-config's suggested usage is spot-on and I am going through the cycles smoothly. There are times during some days I get some frustrations, anxiety or fears coming up but that's about it. I haven't been exhausted again since last time and maybe it was indeed some kind of a virus.
Lately it became deeply conscious to me that it have been working on fear of conflict since 2nd cycle.
I have been questioning if the program really works but I don't see any evidence against it. I don't believe there is resistance, I just believe it goes really well. I just can't say what the results are and maybe I won't be able to until some time after the 4-month period finishes. So far now I just continue like that.
I also have been thinking if it is a good idea to switch to the hybrid version but I believe this is something to consider on the last month and take advice from Shannon beforehand.
Today is 2nd day OFF of the 6th cycle.
The last few days I have been having some bold emotions coming back. Tightness in jaw, frustration, feeling weak, feeling my aura closing down and my posture closing. Anything small not going my way is making me sad, expecting everything to be good and after good life. Eating comfort food on daily basis.
I am not aware of what is being worked.
Today is 2nd day ON of the 7th cycle.
Still feeling on my toes since last journal entry. I had some thoughts of changing listening from 3-4-4-3-1-1-0-0 to 3-3-3-3-1-0-0-0 and I will make this change.
Last night I was thinking what can I do to manage the tension (its in the form of exhaustion, a mild one, and emotional frustration and anger) and after some thinking of what my options are my mind came up again with the solution of changing the listening pattern.
Two nights ago I had a dream in which a past memory ended in a very good terms when it was repeated in the dream. Seems to be a good news from my subconscious. The memory involves fear of conflict which I cannot say its fully resolved now but some progress has been made as I don't believe this would happen during my dream if it didn't. The dream was very much alive and movie like. I enjoyed it.
(03-20-2023, 01:37 AM)racktree Wrote: [ -> ]Today is 2nd day ON of the 7th cycle.
Still feeling on my toes since last journal entry. I had some thoughts of changing listening from 3-4-4-3-1-1-0-0 to 3-3-3-3-1-0-0-0 and I will make this change.
Last night I was thinking what can I do to manage the tension (its in the form of exhaustion, a mild one, and emotional frustration and anger) and after some thinking of what my options are my mind came up again with the solution of changing the listening pattern.
Two nights ago I had a dream in which a past memory ended in a very good terms when it was repeated in the dream. Seems to be a good news from my subconscious. The memory involves fear of conflict which I cannot say its fully resolved now but some progress has been made as I don't believe this would happen during my dream if it didn't. The dream was very much alive and movie like. I enjoyed it.
I'm also running OGSF and I know what you are talking about. OGSF can really bring up some frustration. One thing that's worked for me is meditation, just sitting with yourself and your breath and working trough the tensions that you feel in your body.
(03-20-2023, 04:22 AM)Johannesbrst Wrote: [ -> ] (03-20-2023, 01:37 AM)racktree Wrote: [ -> ]Today is 2nd day ON of the 7th cycle.
Still feeling on my toes since last journal entry. I had some thoughts of changing listening from 3-4-4-3-1-1-0-0 to 3-3-3-3-1-0-0-0 and I will make this change.
Last night I was thinking what can I do to manage the tension (its in the form of exhaustion, a mild one, and emotional frustration and anger) and after some thinking of what my options are my mind came up again with the solution of changing the listening pattern.
Two nights ago I had a dream in which a past memory ended in a very good terms when it was repeated in the dream. Seems to be a good news from my subconscious. The memory involves fear of conflict which I cannot say its fully resolved now but some progress has been made as I don't believe this would happen during my dream if it didn't. The dream was very much alive and movie like. I enjoyed it.
I'm also running OGSF and I know what you are talking about. OGSF can really bring up some frustration. One thing that's worked for me is meditation, just sitting with yourself and your breath and working trough the tensions that you feel in your body.
Thank you. I will work with this.