Stage 4, Day #89/365, `3rd Day ON,
Some minor signs of this program working, though there's always a plausible explanation why it's a coincidence:
- Very easily got a job just before starting UMS; went from 74K/yr + benefits to ~96K/yr (contract expiring in 5 months)
- Parents gave me a chunk of money at XMas (g-note)
- Grand-pa just gave each of his grand-kids a g-note
- A group of employees at a floor where I work won a big hospital 50/50; they split over a half-million among 20 people.
- Worked insanely hard at the Data Analysis certificate course and will have it done tonight after 17 days (Coursera gave an estimated 6 month timeline). Doing Machine Learning next!
- Getting free weekly guitar lessons for 5 months from a great guitar player because I was very understanding of him and his situation last year which made him reschedule lessons.
Stage 4, Day #93/365,
Not sure if I mentioned it, but I had the insight last week that if I work really hard at artificial intelligence, and learn projects for it, then I'll be able to:
a) Get a high paying job in it - 100,000 USD+, going as high as 175K USD/yr or more.
b) Start an AI agency, when would be much easier to make sales with than standard-template copywriting.
This has been a good motivator for me to work through Andrew Ng's Machine Learning course on Coursera.
Stage 4, Day #97/365,
I'm noticing a positive assertiveness in the way that I speak; I'm noticing that the right words are falling out of my mouth, and I am the observer of my statements. Making jokes, breaking the ice, moving a process forward, making a phone call, etc.
I'm making statements in front of colleagues; instead of getting a comment in return, or dialogue, they're nodding and not saying much; that made me panic briefly because I realized that the buck is gradually shifting to me.
(02-11-2022, 03:10 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 4, Day #97/365,
I'm noticing a positive assertiveness in the way that I speak; I'm noticing that the right words are falling out of my mouth, and I am the observer of my statements. Making jokes, breaking the ice, moving a process forward, making a phone call, etc.
I'm making statements in front of colleagues; instead of getting a comment in return, or dialogue, they're nodding and not saying much; that made me panic briefly because I realized that the buck is gradually shifting to me.
Hey that is awesome. The awareness and confidence you have. I bet you are getting respect from people. I am enjoying your journey. Keep it up. I bet OF V3 is help this program work better. I notice everything I want just appears with no effort. It's like a genie in a bottle.
I've been thinking of a topic that's been getting me more agitated the more I think about it. More of an opportunity to vent.
Here's the setup:
When I was in my early- to mid- 20s, all I ever heard from women about dating and relationships was that I was not "owed" anything. There was no such thing as reciprocity; to believe that taking a woman on a date meant a potential for romance or sex was considered entitled. If a woman pulled away, I wasn't "owed" an explanation. She was socially allowed to shut me down hard if made an approach because I was the one who was the inconvenience; I wasn't entitled to her time, after all. If she cut a relationship off, it was her right to do what was best for her. She is sexually empowered and can see many people while seeing me, and I'm jealous or insecure for thinking otherwise.
Now that I'VE put in the work to improve myself and make myself more attractive, all of a sudden, the world is no longer this hookup culture that I missed out on, but it's now all about where things are going. The women are super offended if I'm seeing other women. It's about cutting off all your other options and setting yourself up to commit within a month? Women are all of the sudden super monogamous and now I'm the bad guy even after treating them much better than the younger women ever treated me when they had the power? To top it off, they'll call you a fuckboy (which is essentially a slur like slut) to harm your image.
It feels like the biggest bait and switch. It's like... NOW's the time to talk about honor and what I apparently owe the people that I have sex with? Especially when this conversation was shut down hard when it was in the reverse. They're not entitled to my commitment after all.
I've even been told that my actions say relationship - essentially because I'm a gentleman and who affection - though I'm not saying it outright. I've even heard that the act of having sex is in its own way a non-verbal proof that you like a woman and its high level of intimacy screams monogamy (like wtf?). Hasn't there been a whole conversation from women about enthusiastic VERBAL consent? Why is this suddenly being thrown out the window?
Yes, I'm generalizing. Yes, it's different women. But we've been allowed to make sweeping generalizations about men based on individual experiences.
Am I wrong here? Is there something I'm missing?
Hi Ampersnd,
I'm not an expert or something but I can offer you a different perspective. From what I gather you had some recent experiences which contradicted earlier experiences.
The value of words: What's worked for me is ruthlessly dividing the actions and the words of a person. Only what they do counts, especially for women. The words are just a bunch of hot air.
The why of actions: Regarding the statements that were recently directed at you, I think it can help you to consider the person that said this and how the statement will change things for her. It seems to me that they are guilting you into a frame that is beneficial to them - e.g. you entering a monogamous relationship.
As you are describing it, the young women did the same thing - pushing a frame that is beneficial to them. Then it was keeping their options open and not committing. Now with other women, it is securing a stable relationship.
I hope this helps you in making sense of the contradicting statements. Feel free to offer a counter opinion.
Keep going strong
MM
I definitely agree; it's framing and guilt-tripping to make me do what they want; essentially, to commit.
I don't like Rollo Tomassi, but I do believe and adhere to the 'party years' and 'epiphany phase' and the different dating strategies that women use at different ages. But I've heard this as much from women at 30/31 with women from 22/23 (All of these women I've dealt with at 28/29).
I guess I want to tap into the women who are looking for fun without extensive commitment (but with the decency and maturity to not fall off the radar). I view my style as casual dating; I don't do one night stands. I don't like gross types of hookups. I prefer to keep seeing women I sleep with regularly, and am happy to take them on proper dates, though I prefer we hang out at my place.
I realized on Friday (about two days ago) that I become stressed out when it comes to solving other people's problems, especially in direct correspondence with clients. Then I realized that solving other people's problems is the crux of a successful business.
I've got to overcome the internal hurdle of finding joy in solving other people's problems.
I've got the urge to do spring cleaning; clothes, books, apps, appliances.
Update: I filled 4 large cardboard boxes with things that I will be giving to charity. My place looks much more decluttered. Will need to do a deep clean to make the place shine. Can easily make a bookshelf obsolete.
Thinking about a chef, assistant, and a cleaner to remove the weekly need to cook, do groceries, run errands for me, and do my chores. However, I don't have the revenue to justify that.
However, I'll be removing apps and frequent political videos to clean up my focus. Will be working the Andrew Ng's Machine Learning course; I'm on week #5 of 11, but haven't done the actual assignments. Not sweating it.
Stage 4, Day #103/365,
Might make a purchase tomorrow that will get the money wheel spinning.
Edit: More thoughts.
I've been becoming more serious about cutting out distractions.
I deleted my dating apps. I'm deleted a bunch of other apps.
I've spent my distraction-free work time on a machine learning course (relax: I have virtually nothing to do).
When I have to look like I'm working, I'm learning languages through my earpiece.
I'm strongly considering setting my weekend bedtime at the same time as my weekdays so that I don't have crazy sleep cycles and swings in my cognition.
Stage 4, Day #105/365,
Had my groceries delivered to my door for the first time just now. I feel like a genius by how much time I saved for about $6.50 of delivery charges haha.
The only thing is that I have to keep buying my rotisserie chicken in person.
(02-19-2022, 12:50 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 4, Day #105/365,
Had my groceries delivered to my door for the first time just now. I feel like a genius by how much time I saved for about $6.50 of delivery charges haha.
The only thing is that I have to keep buying my rotisserie chicken in person.
Oh, man, the time saved is amazing isn't it!? I haven't spent more than an accumulated 10 minutes inside of a grocery store for years. If you're going to spend 26 years of your life sleeping, might as well save time where you can!
(02-19-2022, 12:50 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 4, Day #105/365,
Had my groceries delivered to my door for the first time just now. I feel like a genius by how much time I saved for about $6.50 of delivery charges haha.
The only thing is that I have to keep buying my rotisserie chicken in person.
What app did you use?
(02-19-2022, 01:00 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ] (02-19-2022, 12:50 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 4, Day #105/365,
Had my groceries delivered to my door for the first time just now. I feel like a genius by how much time I saved for about $6.50 of delivery charges haha.
The only thing is that I have to keep buying my rotisserie chicken in person.
Oh, man, the time saved is amazing isn't it!? I haven't spent more than an accumulated 10 minutes inside of a grocery store for years. If you're going to spend 26 years of your life sleeping, might as well save time where you can!
Haha that's funny!