Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Day 53 - 3 Loops - day 1/3
I had a dream that I was in college. For some obnoxious reason I decided to come in wearing a pink tank top and tight shorts. I got a few weird looks and fellow students started mocking me. I felt a great level of shame and insecurity.
In the next dream I was in a bed with a couple. We were all watching a movie about zombies like Walking Dead. Me and my friend began discussing and strategizing about the best ways to survive and defeat the zombies. The girl on the other hand was really upset and annoyed by all this. She didn't seem to like my presence. It ruined all the fun.
I had a dream that I was in college. For some reason I decided to come in wearing a pink tank top and tight shorts. I got a few weird looks and fellow students started mocking me. I felt a great level of shame and insecurity.
In the next dream I was in a bed with a couple. We were all watching a movie about zombies like Walking Dead. Me and my friend began discussing and strategizing about the best ways to survive and defeat the zombies. The girl on the other hand was really upset and annoyed by all this. She didn't seem to take a linking to my presence and became rather hostile.
I woke up multiple times during the night with butterflies in my stomach. Fear shook me out of my dreamful sleep and as I opened my eyes, very briefly I took a look around the room to check no one was there before dropping back down to sleep.
I am still really apathetic and lazy. Honestly, everything that I do feels 10 X harder than it used to be.
Over the weekend, I read David Goggins book "Can't hurt me" and it made me emotional and inspired by the man's story. I then reflected on my own life, my fears and insecurities and realised that the only thing standing in the way, between me and actualized self, is my own laziness, complacency and lack of action. Seems rather obvious when you read it but look at how we adopt victim roles and become addicted to self sabotaging thoughts and behaviours.
Could it be that my motivation / intentions were all predominantly driven by fear. Perhaps eroding away fear has in some way dismantled that?
Day 54 - 2 loops Hybrid - day 2/3
First loops with hybrid, it took me 1 hour to get out of bed this morning, I think 1 loop would have been enough.
I noticed that today less fvcks were given. For example, at work today I gave up trying to be perfect on a specific task. I was also less careful with my langauge when talking to my mate.
Day 55 - 1 loop Hybrid - day on 3/3
Hybrid definitely feels more powerful. I'm getting weird and spooky dreams. I started thinking about exposure therapy and how awesome it would be to conquer my biggest fears and insecurities. Usually, I dont think like that. Also, I am travelling alone to a foreign country and feeling quite excited about it.
Day 57/180 - REST 2/3
I've noticed some occasional feelings of confidence and lack of fear concerning social situations. Also, I feel quite adventurous and open minded right now, willing to explore and try new things.
Next week will be the first time that I travel alone to a foreign country. Not so long ago, the thought of travelling alone just felt too risky and scary.
(11-25-2021, 11:02 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]Day 57/180 - REST 2/3
I've noticed some occasional feelings of confidence and lack of fear concerning social situations. Also, I feel quite adventurous and open minded right now, willing to explore and try new things.
Next week will be the first time that I travel alone to a foreign country. Not so long ago, the thought of travelling alone just felt too risky and scary.
I had a life changing experience going to Medellin Colombia alone, (first time travelling alone).
I suggest taking risks, (but be smart & don't do anything stupid), Challenge yourself while your their to do things you normally wouldn't do or that would normally scare you. I did that & it really worked out for my benefit. I grew allot from the experience. Good luck!
Where are you planning on going?
(11-13-2021, 10:51 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]And this sudden shift from trying to controll everything, beating myself up for not living up to expectations and now... A feeling of not giving a fuck at all. This is like a TV performance show whereby each act is unique and intriguing in their own way, except this show is my own mind. Just sit back and enjoy the profound diversity of emotions.
(11-25-2021, 07:25 PM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ] (11-25-2021, 11:02 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]Day 57/180 - REST 2/3
I've noticed some occasional feelings of confidence and lack of fear concerning social situations. Also, I feel quite adventurous and open minded right now, willing to explore and try new things.
Next week will be the first time that I travel alone to a foreign country. Not so long ago, the thought of travelling alone just felt too risky and scary.
I had a life changing experience going to Medellin Colombia alone, (first time travelling alone).
I suggest taking risks, (but be smart & don't do anything stupid), Challenge yourself while your their to do things you normally wouldn't do or that would normally scare you. I did that & it really worked out for my benefit. I grew allot from the experience. Good luck!
Where are you planning on going?
I'm going to Turkey. I'm curious to know what challenges did you set for yourself??
(11-26-2021, 08:25 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ] (11-13-2021, 10:51 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]And this sudden shift from trying to controll everything, beating myself up for not living up to expectations and now... A feeling of not giving a fuck at all. This is like a TV performance show whereby each act is unique and intriguing in their own way, except this show is my own mind. Just sit back and enjoy the profound diversity of emotions.
(11-25-2021, 07:25 PM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ] (11-25-2021, 11:02 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]Day 57/180 - REST 2/3
I've noticed some occasional feelings of confidence and lack of fear concerning social situations. Also, I feel quite adventurous and open minded right now, willing to explore and try new things.
Next week will be the first time that I travel alone to a foreign country. Not so long ago, the thought of travelling alone just felt too risky and scary.
I had a life changing experience going to Medellin Colombia alone, (first time travelling alone).
I suggest taking risks, (but be smart & don't do anything stupid), Challenge yourself while your their to do things you normally wouldn't do or that would normally scare you. I did that & it really worked out for my benefit. I grew allot from the experience. Good luck!
Where are you planning on going?
I'm going to Turkey. I'm curious to know what challenges did you set for yourself??
there is nothing much risky in Turkey lol
Day 58/180 - REST 3/3
Motivated and driven. I am in a really good mental state. Woke up this morning and got drenched during a HIIT session, took a cold shower and did my regular meditation for 1 hour.
I forced myself to open some strangers today and ended up making a friend which I'll meet tomorrow.
I went into a night club and felt rather nervous. The girls in there literally eye f*cked me like nothing else. The resistance overcame me so I ended up leaving feeling slightly defeated. However, this "defeat" was simply just a reminder of a hole I need to fill and I managed to transmute it into positive motivation. I want to really level up my game. It shall be one of my main area's of focus because I've neglected this quite a bit.
After I am done with LTU6 (after OFV3) I will definitely try DMSI or SM. I want to find a good city where there is high volume of girls so that I can approach almost daily.
(11-26-2021, 08:25 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ] (11-13-2021, 10:51 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]And this sudden shift from trying to controll everything, beating myself up for not living up to expectations and now... A feeling of not giving a fuck at all. This is like a TV performance show whereby each act is unique and intriguing in their own way, except this show is my own mind. Just sit back and enjoy the profound diversity of emotions.
(11-25-2021, 07:25 PM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ] (11-25-2021, 11:02 AM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]Day 57/180 - REST 2/3
I've noticed some occasional feelings of confidence and lack of fear concerning social situations. Also, I feel quite adventurous and open minded right now, willing to explore and try new things.
Next week will be the first time that I travel alone to a foreign country. Not so long ago, the thought of travelling alone just felt too risky and scary.
I had a life changing experience going to Medellin Colombia alone, (first time travelling alone).
I suggest taking risks, (but be smart & don't do anything stupid), Challenge yourself while your their to do things you normally wouldn't do or that would normally scare you. I did that & it really worked out for my benefit. I grew allot from the experience. Good luck!
Where are you planning on going?
I'm going to Turkey. I'm curious to know what challenges did you set for yourself??
Well my main goals was to not let my fears get in the way of stuff & to Overcome fears. I was just coming off a addiction & severe anxiety where I couldn't even see my friends.
I ended up going on like 11 dates in 2 months & having sex with 6 women, even travelling to a different province to live in a jungle type setting with some random guy I met on FB & his GF & another guy. It was a long story I was supposed to go their for work but he turned out to be a liar / manipulator, it was fun though I had fun & I ended up having sex with someone in the middle of the night in the warm tropical ocean.
I was afraid to go, but I didn't want to let my social anxiety/fears get in the way.
So for me mainly my fears was dating/being social, going out to the club/bar by myself & making friends & approaching women on the street.
Had a relationship their too.
I got a ton of numbers & went on an instant date with a Taxi Driver female & another time with a Pharmacist.. It was amazing, then I used the remaining two months their to focus on myself & the gym. & do allot of introspection & healing.
I read this book on Fear by Robert Green & 50 Cent before I went which REALLY helped my mentality. I recommend it. And I was on OF v2. I still felt anxiety when I would prepare for a date, but I went regardless & always had success. No bad experiences fortunately.
Also I didn't watch porn or FAP for the entire time I was their.
Your mentality & the goals you set for yourself will strongly change the outcome of the experience.
Day 60 - 2 loops Hybrid
I had a dream that I was sitting in the backseat of a bus which suddenly collided with another bus. I was slightly bleeding from the accident but nothing serious. Despite the situation, I was calm and composed. There was a sense of ease about the situation.
Yesterday I said hello to a 2 set and exchanged numbers. In the evening i told them that I was going to a bar and gave them an invitation, however, they didn't come. Actually, I didn't give much a f*ck because I had to prepare for a flight and I was knackered from a whole day of walking.
Day 61/180 - 2 loops Hybrid
I am open minded and willing to explore as many things as I can. Fear is still there, but now I have a choice if I want to transcend it or avoid it. At this point in my life, I have a desire to slash through as many fears as I can. I've had a complete mindset shift and I don't know exactly where this is heading.
Day 62/180
I have noticed that when I'm out and about I have this tendency of observing myself continuously and being overly critical about it. It could be something very trivial like the way I walk, look at people, the tonality of my voice or even facial expressions. People barely notice these things... My mind gives it too much importance. I realise that this is holding me back BIG TIME! Why? Because when I have social interactions I really struggle to get into a flow state and simply express my true self. By turning inward too much, I lose attention to the outside world and this sometimes leads to various awkward moments.
On the other hand, If I spend the whole night partying, having fun, getting out of my comfort zone, I stop giving any f*cks. I become more witty, spontaneous and social interactions feel like a breeze. I have made this distinction through direct experience and it's fair to say that fear plays a key role. The question is what is it that I fear exactly? What would happend if I just stopped trying to be perfect?
Day 63/180 Rest 2/3
Opened a few strangers again today and made another friend. I'm still quite hesitant to do any day game here. My mind is coming up with all sorts of excuses.
In general, I am in a good mind space, feelin good vibes, the city is amazing and the food is cheap. Motivated to smash my business and learn programming. I have this desire to one day be employed by one of the FAANG companies.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11