I wanted to post this journal to help Shannon with the new sub.
Start Date: May 18th
Masked Sub Trickling Stream
1 loop as instructed
After my first run I felt like I could do more reps but I'm sticking to the recommendations.
May 19th 1 loop: I notice something but it's not pronounced.
May 20th day off
May 21 day off
May 22 today last day off
I should add that I've been working on myself for a long time getting rid of most of my mental baggage did not happen overnight, I first started using Absolute Self Confidence which was my entry into Shannon's subs. I also have most of Shannon's most popular subs DMSI, AM6, Emotional Pan Relief and a few others. I did a run of OFv2 but didn't post a journal but it was very effective for me.
I don't have many fears right now possibly a dozen or less. I'm not looking for perfection but using OFv3 to help me finish the job on the fears I absolutely don't want to live with. Thank you Shannon for the work you continue to do.
I'll keep this journal up to date. I'm back on tomorrow.
(05-22-2021, 12:32 PM)MindsOne Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not looking for perfection but using OFv3 to help me finish the job on the fears I absolutely don't want to live with.
Mind to elaborate more about this fears you don't want to live with? Thanks.
Yes I should have listed the fears in my original post:
Social anxiety which is almost gone, there is about 10-20% left to eliminate. I've been in leadership positions at work so on a regular basis I have had to speak to a room full of people which used to terrify me. If I knew I was going to have to give a presentation I would worry about it so much that it would ruin the days/weeks prior to having to give the big speech. I tried meditation and it does work but its a long term solution and won't give instant results other than some relaxation. I've tried many different relaxation techniques and they will work to some degree. Other techniques that can work require repetition, almost everything requires some kind of repetition because of the way our subconscious minds work and all the mental baggage that we've accumulated.
At the height of my social anxiety I would constantly feel afraid of social interaction, regular things like having a conversation would be tough for me even if the conversation was over the phone.
Other fears which are pretty much gone is that I would constantly think about dying, this resulted in having panic attacks on a regular basis.
Other fears include fear of driving over bridges, certain roads and highways, general feeling of uneasiness while alone.
Most of my fears are associated with the social anxiety or lack of self esteem and self confidence. My dad has Narcissistic Personality Disorder which is a nice way of saying he was a narcissist so countless years of being told your not good enough, or always finding your faults, always moving the goal post, constant criticism took its toll on me and created lots of insecurities. My dad would talk about me to other people telling including family members telling them I'm taking advantage of him, that I'm sick, that I'm not living up to expectations, etc.
These experiences also led to me always being very hard on myself. I never thought I was good enough whether it was with women or on the job, doing business, having relationships with friends, etc. It didn't ruin my life but it made things difficult. Having any type of fear is bad but social anxiety and general anxiety is like a prison because you alter your life to avoid any situation that will cause you discomfort which for me was many.
When it came to work I had to power through the fear so what did I do? Alcohol. Yep I drank while on the job to numb myself from my emotions. This went on for several years. Now mind you I'm doing this everyday I'm at work Mon-Fri and one day I said to myself your going to kill yourself drinking. I never drank because I liked drinking I drank because it was a surefire way to cope when everything else did not work immediately like I needed it to. Shannon's subs did help me tremendously but at the time I didn't know about the most powerful ones he has for things like this which is the Emotional Healing and Pain Relief. DMSI wasn't invented at the time.
May 23rd I was back on cycle 1 loop.
I'm feeling different, but can't explain.
May 24 1 loop I did not have a good sleep that night I barely slept.
The dreams are starting to come back like they did on OFv2. My dreams usually consist of some kind of conflict where I'm running or fighting
I'm going to put a notepad next to my bed and take notes of my dreams. Generally I feel confident and relaxed. It's amazing that this is only 1 loop right now I'm more than impressed.
I can also report that the changes appear to happen quickly but gentle at least on 1 loop schedule for now.
(05-25-2021, 09:56 AM)MindsOne Wrote: [ -> ]My dad has Narcissistic Personality Disorder which is a nice way of saying he was a narcissist so countless years of being told your not good enough, or always finding your faults, always moving the goal post, constant criticism took its toll on me and created lots of insecurities. My dad would talk about me to other people telling including family members telling them I'm taking advantage of him, that I'm sick, that I'm not living up to expectations, etc.
These experiences also led to me always being very hard on myself. I never thought I was good enough whether it was with women or on the job, doing business, having relationships with friends, etc. It didn't ruin my life but it made things difficult. Having any type of fear is bad but social anxiety and general anxiety is like a prison because you alter your life to avoid any situation that will cause you discomfort which for me was many.
I can deeply relate to what you're saying here.
So I've been on OFv3 for 15 days now. I'm on day 3 of my break and tomorrow I'm back on again.
What I've noticed so far:
On the end of my last 3 day break cycle I felt kinda anxious like a drug addict desperately needing a hit but I was still feeling relatively good, confident and relaxed. Just a tab bit of anxiousness.
As I have progressed the anxiousness seems to be going away permanently but we'll see.
When I was on OFv2 I would have a lot of dreams and they would usually end up with me running away from something in the dream, being afraid of something or someone. I wasn't having straight nightmares but just dreams where I was always being chased and my instinct was to run away.
Now with OFv3 I am noticing in my dreams that I am no longer running away from things. I am standing my ground. This has been a very consistent theme in my dreams for the past week.
This is a big break through for me because my dreams are reflecting whats going on in my subconscious mind and now I'm starting to realize that there are fears I have that I am not totally aware of that are being cleaned up by the sub.
This sub should cost a whole lot more in my opinion but I'm grateful to Shannon for selling it at a great price. After 15 days I know this sub is working and at only 1 loop a day is still stunning to me at how powerful it is.
I may switch to the hybrid when I go back on my 2 day cycle tomorrow. I believe I read Shannon say this was okay but only after getting used to the other versions first.
I just saw another journal where Shannon suggested not to switch to hybrid for at least 30 days so I'll be following that advice. I will however increase the loops to 2 or 3. I actually had to urge to do that in the beginning. Going to start 2 or 3 loops tomorrow and report back the details. I have a feeling I will not need more than 3 loops. This will be interesting!
The price of this sub will be going up eventually. It will be $250+. For the time being, I'm more interested in verifying that it does what it's designed to do.
6-2-21 My first day back on. I did 2 loops of the masked trickling stream.
I'm noticing the more loops I start to do the more I feel a push of certain emotions like a purge inside but it's contained and controlled. I still feel confident and haven't had any fears of anything and my mood is very relaxed.
Around the 40 minute mark I did hear a faint voice and then again around 37:48 I know some other people reported hearing similar things. It goes away after a few seconds.
I'm trying for 3 loops today but I'll just see how I feel and go with it.
Why trying for so many loops?