(04-01-2021, 11:19 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 05:37 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 01:35 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:I have strong desire to run a sex-related sub.
Which are the options?
DMSI, NSFM?
There are also WM and SM, but if I remember correctly, these should only be run after AM6.
None of them are options until I finish my 8+ month run of OFv2. I stated that desire as an indicator of my internal state and nothing more.
Man ,NOMad,I just wanna tell ya ,fella,that I have so much respect for your commitment ,fortitude and determination with this whole thing. as the pass around saying goes " YOU Rock!" keep up the good work,Nomad.
As Col.Greivous said to Obi Won, " Obi won, YOU ARE a BOLD ONE!"
I appreciate your encouragement, Keith.
The more robust the foundation is, the higher you can build. That's my logic in a nutshell. Fun stuff will come in due time.
(04-01-2021, 01:07 PM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 11:19 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 05:37 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 01:35 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:I have strong desire to run a sex-related sub.
Which are the options?
DMSI, NSFM?
There are also WM and SM, but if I remember correctly, these should only be run after AM6.
None of them are options until I finish my 8+ month run of OFv2. I stated that desire as an indicator of my internal state and nothing more.
Man ,NOMad,I just wanna tell ya ,fella,that I have so much respect for your commitment ,fortitude and determination with this whole thing. as the pass around saying goes " YOU Rock!" keep up the good work,Nomad.
As Col.Greivous said to Obi Won, " Obi won, YOU ARE a BOLD ONE!"
I appreciate your encouragement, Keith.
The more robust the foundation is, the higher you can build. That's my logic in a nutshell. Fun stuff will come in due time.
That's my reasoning as well, building a strengthening my foundation first so I can execute the fun programs better.
(04-01-2021, 01:55 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 01:07 PM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 11:19 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 05:37 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ] (04-01-2021, 01:35 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]Which are the options?
DMSI, NSFM?
There are also WM and SM, but if I remember correctly, these should only be run after AM6.
None of them are options until I finish my 8+ month run of OFv2. I stated that desire as an indicator of my internal state and nothing more.
Man ,NOMad,I just wanna tell ya ,fella,that I have so much respect for your commitment ,fortitude and determination with this whole thing. as the pass around saying goes " YOU Rock!" keep up the good work,Nomad.
As Col.Greivous said to Obi Won, " Obi won, YOU ARE a BOLD ONE!"
I appreciate your encouragement, Keith.
The more robust the foundation is, the higher you can build. That's my logic in a nutshell. Fun stuff will come in due time.
That's my reasoning as well, building a strengthening my foundation first so I can execute the fun programs better.
Strengthening the foundation also helps to increase life's baseline. In other words, everything gets better. Sometimes it happens in surprising ways.
Day 30
OFv2 is unveiling aspects of myself that I had either forgotten about, covered up, or thought I had outgrown. A large part of it is related to intimacy and sex. In fact, I'm having regular dreams on those two issues. As far as I can remember, they're all positive. Last night was no different. The biggest effect I'm seeing on that front is that OFv2 is bringing me face to face with myself. There's no burying my head in the sand anymore. There's no turning away from it. There's no sugar coating anything. The truth is bare, uncovered, in all of its glory (or lack thereof). It isn't scary. It just is.
There's still a long way to go, but I'm very pleased with OFv2 so far.
Day 31
Last night I dreamed that o was Thor, or at least had Thor's powers. As a weapon, I had the axe instead of the hammer, although I was able to spin it like the hammer. I could throw it and fly. I was defeating horde's of monsters. This is the first dream that I can ever recall having where I was practically invincible. It was pretty badass.
Day 45
For a little over a month now, I've had at least one home maintenance issue arise every week. This week has been no different. I don't know if I'm susceptible to a "cycle" or what's going on, but the timing of these things is peculiar. On the positive side of things, it's forcing growth, both in overcoming fears of inadequacy and in acquiring new skills. It's frustrating, but liberating.
Since beginning OFv2, my taste for my favorite adult beverage has returned in a major way. This isn't entirely surprising. Alcohol has always been my favorite way of drowning fear. For the most part, I don't consciously experience much surface level fear. But I can feel something beneath the surface being worked on. I even tremble at times. With LTU6, I had pretty much lost all desire consume alcohol. Now I crave it.
OFv2 is still in the beginning stages. There's a whole lot of fear that needs to be overcome. I can see needing to use it longer than the 8 moth minimum. I'll know more as that time arrives.
(04-18-2021, 06:05 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ]Day 45
For a little over a month now, I've had at least one home maintenance issue arise every week. This week has been no different. I don't know if I'm susceptible to a "cycle" or what's going on, but the timing of these things is peculiar. On the positive side of things, it's forcing growth, both in overcoming fears of inadequacy and in acquiring new skills. It's frustrating, but liberating.
Since beginning OFv2, my taste for my favorite adult beverage has returned in a major way. This isn't entirely surprising. Alcohol has always been my favorite way of drowning fear. For the most part, I don't consciously experience much surface level fear. But I can feel something beneath the surface being worked on. I even tremble at times. With LTU6, I had pretty much lost all desire consume alcohol. Now I crave it.
OFv2 is still in the beginning stages. There's a whole lot of fear that needs to be overcome. I can see needing to use it longer than the 8 moth minimum. I'll know more as that time arrives.
Has OF v2 take care of everyday anxiety?
(04-18-2021, 07:04 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ] (04-18-2021, 06:05 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ]Day 45
For a little over a month now, I've had at least one home maintenance issue arise every week. This week has been no different. I don't know if I'm susceptible to a "cycle" or what's going on, but the timing of these things is peculiar. On the positive side of things, it's forcing growth, both in overcoming fears of inadequacy and in acquiring new skills. It's frustrating, but liberating.
Since beginning OFv2, my taste for my favorite adult beverage has returned in a major way. This isn't entirely surprising. Alcohol has always been my favorite way of drowning fear. For the most part, I don't consciously experience much surface level fear. But I can feel something beneath the surface being worked on. I even tremble at times. With LTU6, I had pretty much lost all desire consume alcohol. Now I crave it.
OFv2 is still in the beginning stages. There's a whole lot of fear that needs to be overcome. I can see needing to use it longer than the 8 moth minimum. I'll know more as that time arrives.
It has skimmed the top layer off of it. There's still something stirring beneath.
Has OF v2 take care of everyday anxiety?
(04-18-2021, 09:19 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ] (04-18-2021, 07:04 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ] (04-18-2021, 06:05 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ]Day 45
For a little over a month now, I've had at least one home maintenance issue arise every week. This week has been no different. I don't know if I'm susceptible to a "cycle" or what's going on, but the timing of these things is peculiar. On the positive side of things, it's forcing growth, both in overcoming fears of inadequacy and in acquiring new skills. It's frustrating, but liberating.
Since beginning OFv2, my taste for my favorite adult beverage has returned in a major way. This isn't entirely surprising. Alcohol has always been my favorite way of drowning fear. For the most part, I don't consciously experience much surface level fear. But I can feel something beneath the surface being worked on. I even tremble at times. With LTU6, I had pretty much lost all desire consume alcohol. Now I crave it.
OFv2 is still in the beginning stages. There's a whole lot of fear that needs to be overcome. I can see needing to use it longer than the 8 moth minimum. I'll know more as that time arrives.
Has OF v2 take care of everyday anxiety?
It has skimmed the top layer off of it. There's still something stirring beneath.
Day 50
The pattern for shit going wrong just keeps going. Un...fucking...believable. I'm sitting outside the mechanic shop as I type this. Fuck.
This past week has been rough. My tolerance for bullshit is at an all time low and I'm struggling to keep my temper in check. My filter is pretty well eroded at this point.
I've been having the week from hell also, as has my GF. Interesting.
(04-24-2021, 09:29 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I've been having the week from hell also, as has my GF. Interesting.
I'm not sure if I'm in the midst of a cycle or if I'm subconsciously manifesting scenarios that are forcing me to grow. Either way, it's a real pain in the ass.
My temper and my unwillingness to tolerate nonsense seem to be a side effect of fear reduction. My dad was an overbearing kind of guy. I wasn't allowed to question things. I wasn't allowed express myself. For an intelligent, curious, creative kid with a robust imagination, that's akin to choking the life out the soul. I used to act out when he would leave town for business. I feared him so much, that his presence was enough to keep me in check. But the minute he left, the demon in me came out. Now that the fear is being handled, the restraints are being dissolved. Through fear, I silenced that part of myself. Now I have to learn to take the muzzle off and integrate that part of myself into the whole.
I don't hold any grudges against my dad. He did a better job with me than his dad did with him, but he also made a lot of the same mistakes. I make conscious efforts to do a better job with my kids. For the most part, I think I'm succeeding. Hopefully, they'll be better than I am and continue that upward trajectory through our lineage.
Day 53
I have an underlying anxiety that's making me very uncomfortable, particularly in social situations. I attended an event this past weekend and I was absolutely miserable. I even turned down a vacation, fully paid for, because I don't want to be around people. I just want to be alone and away from everybody.
I'm also experiencing sadness. A part of me really wants to cry, although I can't say exactly why.
Likely you want to cry because that part of you is being pushed to deal with its fears and it feels stuck. It may also be TID. I've noted that recently I have had days where my inner child was rather obviously crying, such as yesterday, and I didn't understand why.