BG: I've attempted a few of the different subs, including multiple attempts at DMSI, but have run into hard resistance. I'm hoping this one will work. For more details, go search my older journals if they still exist. I'm mainly keeping this because it helps me remember rest days. Already partially screwed up and listened to a couple of loops today without thinking.
Some news about me: Although my life has been a bit rough since Covid-19, it has had it's ups and downs. Part of the reason I'm trying this right now is that I've been feeling kind of down, probably due to the feelings of isolation from being at home so much. Also, just looked up my old journal and realized it's been over a year. Good news is that back in January I got a job and now I'm a working attorney again. I'm actually enjoying the work, even if I have issues I need to work out with myself (hence part of the reason for using LTU 6).
Stage 1 Day 5 (rest day)
Accidentally screwed up and listened to a few loops tonight, then I remembered it was a rest day. Feel kind of dumb for that. Have been feeling kind of bad since last Friday. Stomach started lightly hurting along with a few other symptoms, food poisoning is a possibility. Only other major thing of note has been tiredness and my normal aches and pains which have increased since my last journal. I have to worry about my arms from working from home now.
Can't say that listening to the loops the last few days have helped with the insomnia I've been fighting for the last couple of weeks. Otherwise, not much to report yet. Not sure if I'll notice the effects but here's hoping. Here's hoping because I could use the emotional and physical healing as well as some luck.
I don't think it's of benefit to you at all to label yourself 'a resistor' especially as your journal, that's just going to reinforce what you don't want.
(10-11-2020, 10:42 PM)ResJudicata Wrote: [ -> ]Have been feeling kind of bad since last Friday. Stomach started lightly hurting along with a few other symptoms, food poisoning is a possibility. Only other major thing of note has been tiredness and my normal aches and pains which have increased since my last journal. I have to worry about my arms from working from home now.
That could be the detox module: many of us noticed that it hits rather hard in stage 1, especially in the beginning. We also experienced pimples and itching. It was always rather mild but definitely noticeable.
Day 17
Have had stomach issues and have been peeing a lot more. If that's the detox module, then it makes sense as that module has affected me before. Separately, I have had some bad cases of procrastination this week. Otherwise, not sure about noticing anything. Maybe some physical healing? Arms aren't bothering me as much as they have previously been but still an issue I have to watch.
Side note: The reason this is labeled as resistor, @
Benjamin is less I've labeled myself one and more the fact that I have had unfortunately little results with my previous runs with LTU and DMSI which seems to be related to resistance. The detox module seems to always work but a lot of the other stuff seems to not, which is annoying. I'm hoping this is powerful enough to actually work, especially since it's divided up into stages.
What you're seeing, much more likely than detox, is the fight that you're putting up trying to not execute the program. Gastrointestinal issues indicate that a deep part of you is VERY afraid to execute something the program is trying to execute.
Peeing more is definitely possible for detox as an explanation.
Procrastination is an effort to fight the program.
I think this program is going to make more progress than you've seen in the past, but it's got a lot of stuff it's trying to focus on at once. Let it play out and see how things are at the end. If you're still fighting it at the end, you'll want to run OF. I think in your shoes, I would have done a fat run of OF first.
Day 30 (End of Stage 1)
Not much to report other than life is keeping me busy. Still having procrastination issues but have had some good luck. I'm also having some sleep issues but that seems more getting enough sleep than my previous bouts with insomnia.
Also, I'll keep in mind the advice about OF. It probably would have been wise to run it first if I was aware that was both an option and recommended for my issues. Fear isn't something I think about but sounds about right for more than a few of my issues in life. Hopefully, I'll see good results. Some things are working out, others, not as much.
Haven't posted anything in a long while. Have been heavily busy with work. I'll give a brief summary of stage 2 and up to where I am in stage 3.
Stage 2
The highlights of this stage were the multiple mental breakdowns that occurred during my work. Throw in issues of imposter syndrome and wondering if I'd failed at being an attorney. Well, you get the whole mental picture. Did reach out for help at my work which helped more than a little. My work definitely has good mental health benefits. Other than that, my mental has been entirely on work. Our offices are overworked right now because of covid-19. Not helped by having to work remotely and needing to get documents from people you can't meet.
Mid-Stage 3
This stage has been the most frustrating from a just following it perspective. 9-hours is a frustratingly long amount of time. 7-8 hours I can consistently guarantee will be uninterrupted but 9-hours goes into the territory of where if I make a mistake and don't pay attention to the time, the last loop will get interruptions from my morning alarms. That's frustrating and probably affects reults. Morale of the lesson for me: if it requires continuous listening, the limit for me on a sub is 8 hours. If it goes to 9 or greater, will have to seriously think through the sub and the potential for lesser results.
On a more life related note, I felt a bit more in control, although I've basically spent the last week on vacation since our office is taking a vacation from Christmas until the 4th. I'm hoping this will help me recharge my batteries and I can jump into getting things done. I've also had discussions at my work about transitioning to a different department because of how stressful the current one is. There are a few options that I think could work as relax points but not as a final position (I know me and would likely go crazy after too long there). Otherwise, life is going on and I probably won't be able to write much of a summary because work is all demanding. Really wish covid-19 and its economic disaster would just end and let things slow down at my work.