My first day of exposure was stop-start so i decided that I would do an extra day for this cycle. I woke up today really vibing with a lot of positivity, ready to take on the world but destiny had other plans. I was confronted on a number of issues i've let slide by my partner and others. This triggered some very deep pain i've been holding onto and i couldn't not descend into a pit of dispair. Tears flowed but after i felt better, i was exauhsted at the end and fell into a deep sleep.
I've woken up now, done some breathwork and feel like i can start again.
Noticing several people in my life being incredibly passive aggressive. I'm getting really angry - i can't help but feel they're projecting something onto me. One is a person I manage and it's incredible how rude they are. I wonder if this is DRS kicking in and them getting frustrated by energy they're directing at me? is DRS even in here?
All i know is it p'd me off and has given me serious motivation.
This sounds to me like they are dealing with DRS, lets see how they will contuine?
(08-21-2020, 07:33 AM)space Wrote: [ -> ]Noticing several people in my life being incredibly passive aggressive. I'm getting really angry - i can't help but feel they're projecting something onto me. One is a person I manage and it's incredible how rude they are. I wonder if this is DRS kicking in and them getting frustrated by energy they're directing at me? is DRS even in here?
All i know is it p'd me off and has given me serious motivation.
DRS is in LTU6, every stage.
Thanks for confirming that Shannon - I really feel like i need it.
I can confirm that it works, too, because last night was our first night on LTU6. I wanted to stay on OF and so did she, but some factors required the change. So we switched and today she was getting very upset in ways that normally trigger me because she projects so much negativity and doom and gloom. But today, while I wasn't enjoying it, I just shut my mouth instead of make things worse. It was much easier to remain calm, and I was able to resolve it without a fight in about 20 minutes, even though she specifically attempted to start a fight "so we can get it over with".
I'd say that's some DRS right there.
(08-23-2020, 09:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I can confirm that it works, too, because last night was our first night on LTU6. I wanted to stay on OF and so did she, but some factors required the change. So we switched and today she was getting very upset in ways that normally trigger me because she projects so much negativity and doom and gloom. But today, while I wasn't enjoying it, I just shut my mouth instead of make things worse. It was much easier to remain calm, and I was able to resolve it without a fight in about 20 minutes, even though she specifically attempted to start a fight "so we can get it over with".
I'd say that's some DRS right there.
I am under the impression that this DRS works very differently compared to the previous one. All my nemeses are reacting differently.
(08-23-2020, 06:20 PM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ] (08-23-2020, 09:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I can confirm that it works, too, because last night was our first night on LTU6. I wanted to stay on OF and so did she, but some factors required the change. So we switched and today she was getting very upset in ways that normally trigger me because she projects so much negativity and doom and gloom. But today, while I wasn't enjoying it, I just shut my mouth instead of make things worse. It was much easier to remain calm, and I was able to resolve it without a fight in about 20 minutes, even though she specifically attempted to start a fight "so we can get it over with".
I'd say that's some DRS right there.
I am under the impression that this DRS works very differently compared to the previous one. All my nemeses are reacting differently.
DRS works the same. But it is no longer the only focus, nor the only thing being done, nor the only thing using energy.
(08-23-2020, 09:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I can confirm that it works, too, because last night was our first night on LTU6. I wanted to stay on OF and so did she, but some factors required the change. So we switched and today she was getting very upset in ways that normally trigger me because she projects so much negativity and doom and gloom. But today, while I wasn't enjoying it, I just shut my mouth instead of make things worse. It was much easier to remain calm, and I was able to resolve it without a fight in about 20 minutes, even though she specifically attempted to start a fight "so we can get it over with".
I'd say that's some DRS right there.
Interesting, I had a very similar experience with my partner. In the middle of the argument I was very calm and things didn't get to me. At one point I could feel a heating up which disappeared after. The thing is, I got so angry after because I was working late and it was a terrible waste of time when I could have finished up and gone to bed. Then I had someone make a snide remark to me, they got promoted by all accounts because some senior person liked them though they're regarded as grossly incompetent and it made me rage.
Right now I can't work for the life of me. I just have no desire. It's like every fibre of my being is just shutting down to doing menial tasks I have to because we're understaffed. I'm also really being hit by major discontent at where I am in life, I'm realising that somehow I've wasted two whole years not progressing at all, in fact I think mentally I've regressed. Theres no running away from it - I've been trying to take some action and that makes me feel good for a second but this is bs.
I've absolutely gotta get a new job and create my own source of income outside of this paid labour game. It's heartbreaking to think about the time wasted.
Back to the original name!
So i'm at the end of the second 4 day cycle and entering my second two day break.
I'm monumentally tired - and i'm under a lot of pressure from work so i can't afford to be, but I'm carrying on regardless.
I've have several instances where arguments with my partner have dissappeared into anothing , which gave me a good sense that DRS was working. I've also randomly found my whole body heating up which feels like DRS working again. I've always suspected that i get a lot of negative energy directed at me from various sources and this seems to confirm it.
On the lack of energy, it's palpable. I remember in times of spiritual growth having this feeling, it goes through all my muscles like theres just no juice in them and i want to just lie down in a warm blanket and sleep. /things are slow at work, i want to be more productive but it's not happening. I'm being lazy and remaining in a kind of place of denial about the work i have to do. It ain pretty.
Some massive poops going on. I'm talking foul reeking monsters.
Still having an issue with procrastination. One thing i'm realising though is that i'm finding my own solutions. This is really interesting, similar to how I felt on SE, i'm looking at how i can sustainably overcome procrastination rather than beat myself up.
I have some religious issues which stem from a deep seated fear of a 'supreme being; - i didn't know this was such an issue but looking back, this was something which impacted me and my behaviour from early childhood after other 'religious' kids poked fun at me saying i was going to hell because I was a 'non-believer'. This sat with me forever, and i didn't realise how much it was in my identity. This fear has become more conscious but so has the thought that , 'i would rather love and explore than fear, and surely if there is such a supreme being that would be preferable'. This was an automatic and very convincing pivot and testament to the cleverness of this new fear removal tech moulding and adapting to allow me to permit the removal of fear in an acceptable way.
It's pretty cool, isn't it? There's a reason it took a year to update from 4.8 to 4.9, that's for sure!
No doubt man. This sub is subtle but powerful. It seems to be marshalling cooperation from my mind so i'm no longer being 'programmed' but rather i'm authentically changing. The feeling of this isn't as euphoric but its stronger if that makes sense.
I wanted to add as well , me and my partner have had some bad fights whilst on it but our baseline togetherness, connection and care is way higher. She's only listening to it when I play it for myself but there seems to be something good happening.
(09-02-2020, 02:12 AM)Darwin Wrote: [ -> ]Some massive poops going on. I'm talking foul reeking monsters.
Damn right on this one.
