(11-20-2020, 02:02 PM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ]Hang in there bro, fear is an ugly beast and it is getting more aggressive to you because and you have it cornered. Shannon said several times that with this generation fear will eventually lose. Have you considered supplementing with OF as Shannon suggested?
Thanks for the encouragement bro. Yes I have sprinkled in OF here and there. I can't say for sure if it has helped but I'm willing to place a bet on it. I haven't paid much attention to journalling as I've been super busy with work. I'll try to experiment more with OF and see if I can arrive to some conclusions.
So I ran 4 loops of OF last night. Woke up today feeling great. Tonight I will begin stage 4. I'll be running 1 loop of OF followed by LTU as per instructions.
My state of mind is not the best. While I was doing a workout I felt like crying for whatever reason. I'm in a self-reflective state, constantly thinking about how I could improve myself and the situation I'm in with my career, relationships etc..
Over the past week, I've gotten this thought in my mind. It goes something along the lines of... "A great big storm is coming". My gut feeling tells me I need to act NOW and FAST before it's too late. I've been thinking more about my loved ones and the people close to me and how my actions in the past could have been better.
Through meditation I've clearly recognised my egotistical and selfish tendencies to lie and manipulate.
I've also noticed that the particular career path that I am on is hollow and empty. Nonetheless, it pays very well, so while I see no other alternative I will continue to develop my skills around it.
Stage 4 cycle 2 day 2
Had a dream about a girl I used to date in high school a decade ago. It was only 1 month I think.
In the dream I was dating her again. This time a grown up version... Just like myself.
I now feel compelled to message her and say hello. I don't know if I should?! Haha.
Is there any reason you shouldn't? otherwise, I would say go for it!
I am closing stage 4 with this brief update. Boy has it been an incredible month!
Firstly, I contracted the virus and had to suffer for about 2 weeks starting from the beginning of December.
I am yet to fully return to my fully "alive" old self. The virus has definitely left some unforeseen burdens despite now me being asymptomatic. I feel extremy fatigued in the morning, I experience waves of nausea throughout the day and my sense of smell and taste is still non-existent.
On the plus side my boss has told me I will be receiving a £500 company bonus on my next payday - That's pretty nice.
I have noticed elevated levels of gratitude and positivity. Despite all the chaos, this week I experienced moments of pure happiness. They were quite brief but very powerful. I suspect that LTU is the vehicle for this.
My sleep has neither improved nor declined. I still wake up, albeit breifly, multiple times during the night. I STILL experience some anxiety just before going to bed from time to time.
Sleep has been an issue ever since I started LTU6. I'm beginning to understand that this is my ego's fear based response to the sub. Sprinkling in some OF every now and then has helped!
The last thing I want to mention is that my mental and physical health have declined over the last 3-4 weeks.
However, without LTU I get the feeling that it would've been MUCH MUCH worse. Even with little to no motivation, I still managed to work my ass off, chip away at my personal projects, meditate daily, do Wim Hof breathwork, start a new reading habit and maintain a good relationship with my flat mates.
Looking forward to stage 5. Stay strong!!!
Been feeling pretty good lately. I have a desire to play much more loops than usual. I've also sprinkled in some OF here and there to get more FRM exposure.
Even with 1 loop of OF, the effects of LTU seem to be more pronounced.
I have spent just over £30 on lottery draws for next week. I have never spent that much before and I never really play or gamble. However, today I felt this authentic urge to do it. And its done. Lets see how it plays out, I'm just experimenting.