Staring tonight I am running OF.
I took a break for about a month from UMS and will run OF until UMS comes out. Or if my success is so high with OF that I might run it for the complete 8 months.
The primary fears I want to deal with is.
Social anxiety(is not really high but I notice it sometimes)
Fear of success & Fear of failure (I am not sure which of these is effecting me but it I do notice it with my youtube channel and coaching)
Fear of missing out ( I notice I have this in certain aspects like this forum and youtube)
Right now those are the fears I consciously notice, but I will update when I know of any other fears.
I feel irritated today, this might be because of the heat and stuff I have to do, I just moved and there are quite a lot of things left to do.
Cheers
Griffin.
Day 1:
Very tired right now.
I play loops during sleep, but I didn't sleep very well.
I usually have this when I start a sub. So I hope it will get better over time.
I notice a little difference but it is hard to put my finger on what exactly.
Day 2:
Felt less tired today, and slept better.
At around 5 pm I got tired again.
I noticed some social anxiety today when I was at work.
Not really knowing what to say at times.
I also notice 1 girl being into me, she is nice but not that good looking.
not sure what I want to do about it yet.
I feel some fear about starting my videos again as I took a break from them because I was busy.
overall I feel quite calm though.
I know that I have a bad insight into myself. where I don't always know what is changing until its absolutely obvious.
I am not that self-aware I guess. When I read some people's journals I am amazed at how much they notice.
Maybe that is also a reason my journals never really lead somewhere and usually die out.
Day 4:
I feel quite chill right now but I do notice a fear of the future..
Where I am not sure I am even going to be able to do what I want(travel and see the world)
The only thing holding me back Is money.
And ofcourse covid as I can't get Visas right now.
But the money is where the fear comes in.
Will I ever make enough money?
It's an irrational fear as i only need about 1200 euros/dollars per month.
I wonder where this fear comes from.
My father is well off and has a passive income of 4000 euros.
And money was never an issue.
So I don't think I got it from there.
My mother is a little more on the saving money side.
But saving money isn't necessarily a bad thing.
So if I didn't get it from my parents I cannot imagine where I got it from.
Anyhow, it's been long enough of having this fear so hopefully it will work on it.
Being on UMS for 8+ months didn't erase this fear yet, so let's see what frm 4.9 can do.
I also notice a fear of starting work again on my youtube channel.
I will see if I have enough time to start a little today again.
Tiredness is not here right now but I slept for 10 hours.
Cheers.
money issue may be related to other thing, even if your parents don't have financial issues, it could be everything like fear of failure, fear of succes , critism fear etc.
If you feeling any anger towards a rich person, this may be transform into hate of money eventually, if you hate something ,probably thats because of you afraid of it. I realized this within me for a situation.
had an interesting dream last night. i was in prison and i tried to break out, this eventually worked, by going through the sewers, then I was racing in canals and trying to flee.
When i finally decided to go on land and out of the water, I was naked and it was cold. of course, if people saw me naked this would be bad and be suspicious., but i found a whole bunch of clothes right when i went out of the water.
there was a pajama pant, very good socks, multiple T-shirts, so I got the best one. but it was cold or freezing and I needed a jacket, after looking around I found a jacket that was amazing and fit me incredibly well, I even remember saying this is the best jacket I have ever had.
after all that I remember getting hungry and eating frogs for some reason, they were supposed to be very nutritious in my dream haha. then I woke up.
i usually don't really know what dreams symbolize but this one was quite obvious to me!
and I knew that before I would forget it, I should write it down here.
Time for coffee now, cheers.
(11-29-2020, 04:10 AM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]I am really interested in the improve your eyesight!
I have glasses with -1.5 and -1.75 and astigmatism.
So not that bad, but bad enough so I need glasses.
I do not like wearing glasses, and look better without it.
Also i have been on OF since the beginning, 155 days now
And have not seen much improvement or big changes.
So i am quite tempted.
If it works it will also restore my complete faith in Shannons subliminals.
I had good succeses with some subs like ASC and DMSI but little succes with Umop, UMS and OF.
So a subliminal were there will be absolutly no doubt if it works or not will resotre my absolute confidence.
Dont get me wrong i have confidence in Shannon, but its been a hit and miss for for a few subs, but i have never asked for a refund because i think it always did something and support shannons work 100%!
I am now torn between using improve your eyesight until UMs, which will probably be about 3 months or using OF for the full 8 months, which is also 3 months left.
Maybe having my eyes restored and having proof Shannons subliminals work, will aid in exucution in UMS
Or 8 months of OF will help exucution of UMS even better.
Anyway i have some contemplating to do
Advice is welcomed ofcourse
Cheers!
So I made a choice to keep running OF instead of Improving my eyesight.
Although I would love to throw away my glasses forever, I'd rather get rid of my fear forever.
I will probably run the 6g version of improving eyesight when it comes out.
However, I hope someone who will use improve eyesight will journal on it.
I would really like to see how fast this works and this will probably be valuable information for Shannon to have.
Cheers!