01-19-2012, 11:37 AM
Thanks Patti and enoch for the feedback. We actually got in contact the other day and had a very amicable final end where I said we couldn't be friends as there was to much chemistry and past there but that we had some great experiences and learned a lot from each other.
I think even though I don't feel much from alpha yet that response was clearly something from alpha. I was extremely honest with her saying that I did miss her and her child then lead into the above.
I do think part of the reason this is so hard for me is because of my insecurities etc which is why I think alpha is the perfect program for me to open up my options and start to get rid of some of the programming that I have been with for my whole life. I've also got to the point now where pretty much all my friends are in relationships or overseas so catching up with friends is becoming less and less frequent I do socialize but mainly through groups and clubs and work now. So expanding my social circle is one of my goals but in saying that really creating my own life is my other which is where alpha comes into play.
So my plan is run alpha with Let go of past relationships for the next 3 months then move onto either ASC or possibly release the negativity within. This may change depending on how I feel and where I'm at in 3 months. After Alpha I plan to run through SM2.0 as I am when I think about it still pretty inexperienced with women most of the times I have been with women have been what you would call 'Getting lucky'. I have a whole range of things to work on. My style, my fitness (I'm a little overweight but not obese 15 pounds weightloss would put me around my ideal weight).
So last night was my first night on stage 2 of alpha. Had a lot of vivid dreams around times I was trying to hard with women and felt they could sense this. Then today I have had a few moments crop up where I would say to myself hey i'm trying to hard who am I trying to impress. Today actually felt a little more relaxed with a lot less anxiety than I have in a while but at the same time less social and not as driven to excel and meet my goals as I had. Almost as though I am going back to being introverted but still able to talk in a confident manner. I've also had a lot of thought coming up with me saying to myself that i'm all alone
I think even though I don't feel much from alpha yet that response was clearly something from alpha. I was extremely honest with her saying that I did miss her and her child then lead into the above.
I do think part of the reason this is so hard for me is because of my insecurities etc which is why I think alpha is the perfect program for me to open up my options and start to get rid of some of the programming that I have been with for my whole life. I've also got to the point now where pretty much all my friends are in relationships or overseas so catching up with friends is becoming less and less frequent I do socialize but mainly through groups and clubs and work now. So expanding my social circle is one of my goals but in saying that really creating my own life is my other which is where alpha comes into play.
So my plan is run alpha with Let go of past relationships for the next 3 months then move onto either ASC or possibly release the negativity within. This may change depending on how I feel and where I'm at in 3 months. After Alpha I plan to run through SM2.0 as I am when I think about it still pretty inexperienced with women most of the times I have been with women have been what you would call 'Getting lucky'. I have a whole range of things to work on. My style, my fitness (I'm a little overweight but not obese 15 pounds weightloss would put me around my ideal weight).
So last night was my first night on stage 2 of alpha. Had a lot of vivid dreams around times I was trying to hard with women and felt they could sense this. Then today I have had a few moments crop up where I would say to myself hey i'm trying to hard who am I trying to impress. Today actually felt a little more relaxed with a lot less anxiety than I have in a while but at the same time less social and not as driven to excel and meet my goals as I had. Almost as though I am going back to being introverted but still able to talk in a confident manner. I've also had a lot of thought coming up with me saying to myself that i'm all alone