Quote:Maybe i ask how old you are? Just so that it gives me a better reference for giving you my opinion on your situation.
What has happened is probably i have too many of these cases happen and your standard for your women will rise. To the point where the event of having sex with the girl almost feels like something so normal as if you just had dinner or something...
so now its not easy for me to "feel" lovey dovy or attachment feelings to girls. only very particular girls im into i will be albe to feel this way.
I am 31 atm.
What you and Benjamin say about being bored of sex makes sense, and that you could be just bored of sex.
To me, sex is mysterious and magical, and something new and exciting, so I’m sure I won’t be bored of it for quite a while, assuming I actually get to sex (I’ve tried for nearly two decades to get there). But I’m hopeful and optimistic.
Edit: I have clear boundaries in my mind. Like if she requested to move in with me, I would be all ‘no way’. She tends to ignore me if she is in a bad mood. And is low-drama (so far). If she got too dramatic I would say that I’m busy and do my own thing for a while. She already knows I’m independent. She also encourages me to make out with other women, and has expressed an interest in polyamory. I’ve had days where she made out with me and then encouraged me to make out with other women.
I’ve tried to make a move on her (a few times) and she seems uninterested in sex. She is middle aged, never married, no kids, lives with a flatmate in a small apartment. But she says she loves cuddling and kissing and making out. I’ve seen her making out with women so maybe she is ’sexualqueer’ (meaning something different from hetero. Which can Include one of or several of = homo, bi, pan, asexual, demisexual, etc). I don’t think she had sex with those women though.
Regardless, when I meet a woman who actually wants to and will have sex with me, I will be making time for the sex woman / lover. If I have left over time, I can hang with the other woman who is suggestive of a ‘queerplatonic’ relationship. And I plan to live by myself / separate from anyone I have a relationship with (at least for a few years).
It means nothing if she's expressed an interest in polamory, nor that she says 'you can have sex with other women' because you aren't having sex with her.
Quote:But she says she loves cuddling and kissing and making out.
She's full of shit. She's just uninterested in sex with you because of how you've behaved and she's telling you all this crap and you're accepting it. This is past being whipped.
Quote:a ‘queerplatonic’ relationship.
I can't even comprehend how a man could even suggest or say this, I shake my head.
Anyway, I went to get coffee at a cafe today, I really wanted coffee from the cute woman who works there.
She brought me over a cup of piss, and she told me "I really love coffee, and there's plenty of it, in fact i've made coffee with many other guys this week, but i'm not making it for you."
I decided to drink the piss because I was really thirsty, and I need to drink you know for sustenance. And it was okay, because she encouraged me to drink coffee at other cafes.. so I happily drunk her piss, even though I didn't really want it.. I wanted hot coffee like all those other guys. But if I was just nice and accepting enough and didn't tell her it's bullshit maybe i'd get a coffee in 20 years or so when she... er I mean.. the coffee is all shrivelled and dried up and been drunk by 1000s of other guys who won't put up with her shit.. or more specifically cups of piss.
She thinks “how big of dumb ass can you be?!” She thinks you are one big joke and by far and large a sucker. And she’s not wrong, because look at she has you. She has already played you, she’s getting off on humiliating you. It’s makes her feel so powerful. She’s laughing at you, she’s been laughing at you for a while. The fact that she suggested this new level of third rate cheap ATTEMPT sex psych BS means she’s having a ball.
Please let that illustrate the extent how truly weak she perceives you to be. Rightly so.
I’m not flaming nor insulting you.
(03-07-2019, 02:12 AM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]She thinks “how big of dumb ass can you be?!” She thinks you are one big joke and by far and large a sucker. And she’s not wrong, because look at she has you. She has already played you, she’s getting off on humiliating you. It’s makes her feel so powerful. She’s laughing at you, she’s been laughing at you for a while. The fact that she suggested this new level of third rate cheap ATTEMPT sex psych BS means she’s having a ball.
Please let that illustrate the extent how truly weak she perceives you to be. Rightly so.
I’m not flaming nor insulting you.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m still single. And me and her are NOT a couple, and I have zero intention of being in a couple relationship.
In my mind a couple lives together AND is romantically / sexually involved (and I’m NOT interested in that!)
In my mind, a FWB / casual lover is NOT a couple. A one-night stand is NOT a couple. Not that I’m there yet for sexual relationships, but they may occur in the close future. I should be losing my virginity sooner or later (and I’m interested in something casual only, at this point).
But, I’m happy to still cuddle, kiss and make out with her. And if she wants to label us as ‘queerplatonic’ then that’s her choice. And if she wants closeness / intimacy then I’m okay with that too (as long as I remain single). I will be staying single and living by myself (they are both clear boundaries that I currently have), and I will also be keeping my dating / sex options open. As long as I stay single / living separately, I can still enjoy the intimacy and companionship that the friendship is offering and it is close enough to satisfy the pairbonding urge(s).
That's the end of this silly conversation. This is Fluffys journal. FluffyBunny will continue his journal and will say so if he needs help or has a question.
Please continue Fluffy