update, went out tonight in a crowded bar heaps of women including many from gym got nothing, but i did have one woman dance around and close to me a lot during the night which is something.
Biggest problem is i lack any minimal amount of confidence to act on these situations i kept dancing near her around her too, but not once did i dance with her, at one stage i was going to ask if she would like to dance then convinced myself not to.
Im a bad dancer so i used that as an excuse, then she was there with people that work at the gym i go to so dont ruin things to make that awkward too so all i did was come up with excuses not to talk or dance with her.
So tonight im going to try 8 loops of hybrid with headphones and hope that i can keep the headphones on for the entire time tonight while listening while asleep which i doubt but will try my luck with.
I really wish i would get this confidence boost soon though.
Sometimes you just have to go a little bit out of your comfort zone and you might be surprised with the results.
Yes and im pretty sure i was given constant open opportunities tonight by that brunette, but thoughts in my head just stopped me from acting on any intentions i had, she was always dancing near me but they could say i was dancing near her too but in the end i used thoughts of shes friends with several that work the front desk of the gym i go to, so dont make mistakes and things like that.
Other thoughts is im a very bad dancer dont embarass such an attractive woman trying to dance with her just silly thoughts like that is enough to talk myself out of doing anything.
Its dissapointing i allow such negative thoughts to stop me doing something when she clearly was open to dancing with me, and even when i thought to ask her to dance directly i still talked myself out of even doing that.
Keep trying, keep putting yourself in situations where you can do something positive.
I will keep going out each saturday night just my negative thinking stops me from acting on situations, last night around a woman for 2 hours and she constantly was close to me dancing and i never did anything, i wanted to but never went through with it for all sorts of reasons.
Which to me is frustrating since i like her and i see her at my gym a couple times recently too. So i had chances and just talked myself out of doing anything each time, and just think if they like me enough they will come to me, where she actually did come to me just didnt initiate anything physically.
Something that just happened now, the lady i didnt talk to but danced close by a lot for a couple hours that i wanted to dance with and talk with, i added her on instagram she has 1200 plus followers public page etc, me adding her wont make a difference will go unnoticed or i thought anyway.
I have 40 followers and i think maybe 15-20 are real ones so not many but its private, but just had a request from the lady from last night to add me on instagram.
Thought that was interesting at 1.30 in the morning.
Today i saw the lady from the bar saturday night, i managed to say hi to her and ask her how her weekend was, but thats all i got before she finished filling her drink bottle and went to start training when i had just finished.
Was hoping a bit more conversation but didnt happen.
So yesterday i said hi to the lady from the bar on saturday that was around me for a couple hours.
Today since she added me to instagram after i had added her i decided to say hi and just be polite and send a message and see if she responds since we both seem quiet atleast at the start so thought a good way to try, i never normally do that so its not something i normally do or feel comfortable doing but gave it a go since people say whats worst can happen.
Anyway so like all these ladies saying be nice to others and things like that like they all post on insta, clearly they dont do what they preach, didnt get a reply and she chose to remove me aswell, not that i post much but that was her reaction to a general message to her.
Was hoping dmsi may of helped get me a positive response atleast a general one but i guess it seems they like saying one thing and doing the opposite to most people.
(03-21-2019, 03:19 AM)josh84 Wrote: [ -> ]So yesterday i said hi to the lady from the bar on saturday that was around me for a couple hours.
Today since she added me to instagram after i had added her i decided to say hi and just be polite and send a message and see if she responds since we both seem quiet atleast at the start so thought a good way to try, i never normally do that so its not something i normally do or feel comfortable doing but gave it a go since people say whats worst can happen.
Anyway so like all these ladies saying be nice to others and things like that like they all post on insta, clearly they dont do what they preach, didnt get a reply and she chose to remove me aswell, not that i post much but that was her reaction to a general message to her.
Was hoping dmsi may of helped get me a positive response atleast a general one but i guess it seems they like saying one thing and doing the opposite to most people.
I wouldn't take it so hard if I were you. If she was that rude before you even got a good conversation going then imagine how dysfunctional she could be at deeper levels. Chances are, she did you a favor by showing her true colors early on. Of course, I'm not sure what you included in that message but no matter what, be sure to always carry yourself as a high value individual.
You know what, now you know she's not interested. You can move on, and you'll get success someplace else.
To them, being nice might mean being able to read social cues and being respectful about it.
Don't take it too personally, because she was most likely also acting on past experience.
Thanks, its more these ones all say about being nice to others yet when someone makes the effort to be nice to them they cant return the gesture,
Its not that the message was asking much simple hows things going, enjoying our gym. simple response or just ignore it too.
Its more for me that talking to someone or making initial conversation or even sending messages to someone i dont normally do so for me doing that as simple as it was normally i would convince myself not to send a message since dont know them well enough or some other reason. But since on tinder and going to get messages that way anyway what difference did it make going through another platform especially when said hi at the gym the day before.
But yes just move on from it, its my fault for not making the most of the opportunity on saturday when she was around me so much.
She seemed quiet so thought one way to start a chat with her.
Ive been listening to hybrid trickling stream all this week quite uncomfortably since hard to get any proper sleep with them on laying on my back when normally sleep on my side but been trying to do it to get the most out of it after about 5 weeks through ultrasonic every night.
Apart from what happened this week nothing else to mention on dmsi.
Also saturday i knew she was showing signs its the lack of confidence i have in those situations is what held me back from doing anything since dont do anything nothing can go wrong but nothing can happen if i dont do anything too, but still safer to not act.
That is the whole reason i got dmsi in first place confidence self esteem and the women to approach me so signals are very clear.
Next time a girl is dancing, and if you wantto ask her to dance. You can ask her and just keep on dancing happily away from her if she says no.
When you approached her yesterday, she seemed uninterested. By contacting her again so soon, you overdid it.. Don't feel bad about this, because this learning experience will help you to be more successful in the future. You should have waited a period of time before having contact with her again. Even though you were just saying "hi, how was your weekend". Based on her response, she saw it as a negative, so contacting her soon afterwards just refreshed the negativity in her mind.
In her mind, contacting her soon again meant that you were not being nice, so she wasn't "nice". She might have felt disrespected.
Her blocking you probably had to do with past experiences with pushy guys. I know from my experience with guys at the gym. They latch on hard! Don't worry about it, it's not the first time this has happened to her and it won't be the last.
The best you can do is learn from it, and like Davis said, carry yourself as a high value male. If she talks to her friends about you, you will prove her wrong by your behavior. Don't have anymore contact with her again. If you see her again, don't even look at her, and keep your head up.
Thanks. i didnt approach her yesterday she was just at the same spot we were so said hi.
I dont normally go up to people in the gym even if spoken previously and for majority of people that have spoken to me at the gym they have to be first ones to say something.
But will remember in future to have decent gaps between hi's, theres another person i see most days been months since last said hi to that person.
But ive also been told saying hi in passing is just being polite too.
As i have mentioned social skills is something i dont have. Thats why i rarely speak to anyone.
I think that many people feel the same way you do. Some people are really good socially most of the time, but most people struggle with this. keep practicing and pay attention to people's body language and the mood they're in. Building your confidence and self esteem are really important to help you navigate through this.