06-28-2011, 11:43 AM
(06-28-2011, 07:38 AM)mat422 Wrote: That seems passive aggressive. I'll never understand people that do things behind your back instead of confronting you about it, probably fear.
So a little update. My friend talked to her the other day and got things straightened out with her. He said she was really cold and bitchy, but as he was leaving she started to break down and cry. He was pretty drunk and angry the night she cheated on him, but he's collected himself these past few days. Whether or not I'll see her again I don't know, but I am worried about her. She pretty much escapes reality with alcohol which is a dangerous path. Having the inability to cope with the stress of life without being intoxicated isn't good for anyone. She denies it all the time, gets angry when I tell her that it's a problem, etc. I hate seeing anyone with problems because it just gives me a reflection of what I've gone through in the past and I've got a lot of empathy for them.
I'm going to give it another week to let things settle a little more then talk to her. Hopefully she'll be willing to open up a little.
As a side note I've been feeling like crap lately. It feels just like stage 1 of alpha male and I've been in that dark place for a while now. The only difference is I'm acknowledging it, but not feeding it or wallowing in it. I'm definitely stronger mentally, but life has seemed like a chore lately. I've also been less forgiving of myself which I've been trying to watch. I'm only human, I'm not superman. I wish I could accept myself as human though, for some reason I have this ridiculous notion that I should be superman. I don't know if it's a drive to be something greater than I am or me running on a treadmill towards a goal of perfection that is impossible to reach. There's a fine line between those two and I straddle it daily, some days leaning more towards one side.
Successful people tend to have a "can-do" attitude which sometimes causes them to believe they are "superhuman". This isn't neccesarily a bad thing because when you expect a lot from yourself it pushes you to do greater things and keeps you from settling for mediocrity. It reminds me of a quote by Carl Jung, "The ideal aim of the unsuccessful is to be normal".
