05-04-2011, 12:41 PM
Sometimes I really have to take a step back and stop trying to understand things so much. Right now it's my last week of stage 4 and I think the biggest thing I need to realize is I still haven't finished the set. What I mean by this is that my expectancy kind of minimizes my awareness of results.
Right now it would do me some good to just enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination. Something that helped me do this was a little meditation on feelings I had. I asked myself "What would I be doing if I didn't have the subliminal right now?" As great as the subliminal is, at times I feel like I'm waiting.
The biggest problem is I'm waiting for the results that I THINK are going to happen. While I'm thinking about what could be happening I'm not actually observing how I have changed. Within the past few days something clicked in my head and I felt alpha. Walk was smooth as hell, my posture improved dramatically, I had a no nonsense attitude. The only thing that still bothered me was the anxiety. At times I feel the anxiety operates independently of my thoughts, I'm confident, I feel confident, but I still have anxiety. The difference is I no longer beat myself up for it and I don't feel like less of a person for having it.
I'll see if by the end of this set the anxiety is resolved. If not I might go on to one of the subs for anxiety or see a psychiatrist or something. I don't like taking medication, but if it is a biological problem then I better just swallow my pride. My mom's side of the family has issues with anxiety and depression. Which you could say my mom learned these behaviors and passed them on to me, the whole nature vs nurture debate.
I wish they didn't push medication like candy so much and actually knew the hows and whys of medication that treats a condition such as anxiety. To me SSRIs don't seem like a likely solution to an anxiety problem. I was actually on them a while back, made my life very foggy, sure I didn't have anxiety but I also had no color to life, no spectrum of emotion. Being a human guinea pig isn't my idea of a good time and I feel like a lot of those SSRIs are trial and error with little scientific basis behind them.
Right now it would do me some good to just enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination. Something that helped me do this was a little meditation on feelings I had. I asked myself "What would I be doing if I didn't have the subliminal right now?" As great as the subliminal is, at times I feel like I'm waiting.
The biggest problem is I'm waiting for the results that I THINK are going to happen. While I'm thinking about what could be happening I'm not actually observing how I have changed. Within the past few days something clicked in my head and I felt alpha. Walk was smooth as hell, my posture improved dramatically, I had a no nonsense attitude. The only thing that still bothered me was the anxiety. At times I feel the anxiety operates independently of my thoughts, I'm confident, I feel confident, but I still have anxiety. The difference is I no longer beat myself up for it and I don't feel like less of a person for having it.
I'll see if by the end of this set the anxiety is resolved. If not I might go on to one of the subs for anxiety or see a psychiatrist or something. I don't like taking medication, but if it is a biological problem then I better just swallow my pride. My mom's side of the family has issues with anxiety and depression. Which you could say my mom learned these behaviors and passed them on to me, the whole nature vs nurture debate.
I wish they didn't push medication like candy so much and actually knew the hows and whys of medication that treats a condition such as anxiety. To me SSRIs don't seem like a likely solution to an anxiety problem. I was actually on them a while back, made my life very foggy, sure I didn't have anxiety but I also had no color to life, no spectrum of emotion. Being a human guinea pig isn't my idea of a good time and I feel like a lot of those SSRIs are trial and error with little scientific basis behind them.
