10-26-2015, 10:07 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-26-2015, 10:12 AM by dissonance.)
That line from the video, "Fear is like a giant fog. It blocks everything. Real feelings, true happiness, real joy." is so true. One fear that I have is this fear of intimacy with my family. So I begin to fear the "good" feelings of those small emotional bonding moments like laughing while watching something on TV or any human bonding type moments, and I subconsciously block it, and put on this "act" or "persona" that is easier to handle living at home with them constnatly. It's become such a big habit that I have anxiety because I subconsciously block real emotions and put on this "act" when out in the world now, which makes it a lot harder to become a non-recluse again, because I "forgot" the real me. I think that's why Heath Ledger had his anxiety and stuff after doing the Joker role, because many actors (like him), basically train themselves to actually "feel" and think the way that their character does, similar to how I trained my self to block those feelings of emotional bonding with my family. He was probably so deep into that Joker role that he forgot how to be himself again or at least was confused, like I am now when dealing with the outside world.
