alpha 4

[ffaux]

I hold the belief that women don't find me attractive. When I manage to get a woman I do everything I can to hold on to her for fear of not finding another one. This is why it has been so devastating whenever I've lost a girlfriend, it threatens my security and I don't think I'll find another. Growing up, boys and girls my age all reinforced that I was unattractive. I don't think it was true but it worked in having me eliminate myself from the gene pool. It's really rather upsetting actually. What a cruel world.

[Darkness]

I think after this run don't use am6 again. That awkward hit whilst socializing/speaking but not making any sense also happened to me. It stopped after I stopped using it. You can use the refresher, but not the whole gauntlet.

[ffaux]

I think after this run don't use am6 again. That awkward hit whilst socializing/speaking but not making any sense also happened to me. It stopped after I stopped using it. You can use the refresher, but not the whole gauntlet.

I think these things happen as the subliminal exposes the beliefs that run against its suggestions. I think it's part of the process of changing your beliefs. I could be wrong. I've just viewed them as old beliefs and feelings that will go away, it's nothing to be afraid of. To me this is progress, that's why I write about them, these are the things that are changing.

[ffaux]

I can feel the effects of approval seeking decreasing and it feels guuuuuuuud!

[ffaux]

Victim mentality is on the way out.

[ffaux]

I'm starting to have really positive feelings towards America, American people and music and stuff for some reason lol

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The approval seeking is very strong. It makes me deeply unhappy.

[ffaux]

Feeling insecure about keeping a woman and competing with other men.

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I'm awkward, dorky, and I don't know how to pick up girls.

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I feel like I'm really uncool.

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Women are finding me attractive but I don't feel attractive.

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People are telling me I'm cocky.

[ffaux]

Feeling really clear and calm, I feel sure/secure. Not sure what has shifted.

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I feel independent and self-sufficient. I'd like a girlfriend but I don't know if I could love her. I think I have a faulty definition of what it means to love someone. I think of love as self-sacrifice...as in sacrificing everything for the other person's happiness, a definition and pattern I no doubt learned from my mom. It's so passionate and dramatic.

[Frosted]

Feeling insecure about keeping a woman and competing with other men.

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I'm awkward, dorky, and I don't know how to pick up girls.

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I feel like I'm really uncool.

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Women are finding me attractive but I don't feel attractive.

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People are telling me I'm cocky.

Yeah it's weird. You give off the vibe that you're some high confidence dude yet you feel like shit. Been there felt like shit for my entire run yet when I looked at my last video I looked confident af and couldn't believe I felt so insecure at the time. If only
we could feel as awesome as we apparently are. It is so ironically delicious lol.

[ffaux]

Yeah it's weird. You give off the vibe that you're some high confidence dude yet you feel like shit. Been there felt like shit for my entire run yet when I looked at my last video I looked confident af and couldn't believe I felt so insecure at the time. If only
we could feel as awesome as we apparently are. It is so ironically delicious lol.

I think it's just a natural reaction. My hypothesis is that our deeply held beliefs and feelings about ourselves come to the surface when they're incongruent to the statements made by the subliminal. I don't know what purpose it serves but I've experienced it enough to just journal what comes up without attachment or aversion, just as an observation of what I'm experiencing.

[ffaux]

Sex drive is rapidly increasing. I think this is part of the whole picture of my attachment to women:
1. Sex
2. Loneliness
3. Approval/attention seeking

[ffaux]

My business is going shit, I'm constantly reminded that I'm not attractive to women, I don't have a regular circle of friends but AM6 is blocking me from feeling self-pity. On I go.

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This whole time I've been expecting AM6 to change my life but it's me that's changing.

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It is difficult to accept how much I've wasted my life and how little I have achieved. Yet I know that AM6 has corrected my path and put rocket boosters on my back to push me in the right direction. This programme needs to be repeated to build momentum in the right direction. It's just a shame that I wasted a few runs by putting too much perceptory pressure on myself and creating counterproductive stress and resistance by listening too many hours and too loudly. 8 hours and -60db is the sweet spot for AM6 for me right now. I anticipate that this will change to increase as I change to harmonise with the incoming suggestions.

[ffaux]

Hit a bit of resistance last night. Spent the last few hours leading into my alarm tossing and turning. Luckily the perceptory pressure and hours are low this time. I turned the subliminal off and after a few minutes I was flooded with feelings of anger and resentment toward my ex. She really fucked me over. I'm glad it's coming up and releasing. She doesn't deserve to become trauma.

[ffaux]

most girls don't want and are too stupid to see a real alpha. They want the guy who is alpha externally.

My experience has been that people in general don't realise, and when they do they are intimidated but attracted. Your game is next level, they've never met anyone with your level of self-respect and self-worth. They respect you and want you but they're too intimidated to chase you, they will just make themselves available to you should you choose them.