04-03-2011, 11:42 AM
I'm a few days shy of being 2 weeks into Stage 3 of the set now and I've started to loose sight of what Alpha Male is doing. My Alphaness is Homeostasis to me now, so I don't really notice it. Sort of like my big toe haha. It's odd that I don't notice it to much, as I'm really seeing more and more external effects; whether they be respect, attraction, compliments, etc. Internally, however, I feel the same. I think I must place extraordinary focus upon my internal mental state; I'm very sensitive to my inner workings, habits, beliefs, mindsets, moods, intuitions, etc, and that - perhaps as a consequence - I'm much less aware of any external changes.
To elaborate what happened on Friday: I was out with a girl who is very much interested in me, yet I kept receiving lots of attention from other Women. The kind of desperate attention where they continuously hover round and 'accidentally' bump into you. Two girls in particular, that I remember, where showing interest like this for over an hour. I really couldn't do anything with these IOI's, though, as to not her my friends feelings. Especially as she had made me a string-bracelet that she gave me when I was out. She knows that I'm not overly reciprocative of her interest and that we're just friends, yet I couldn't do anything with other girls in front of her. I've read that Alpha Male may express itself through dreams, well last night I dreamt of a very similar situation where I had a girl begging me for sex, yet I took the moral high ground and turned her down. It's odd because my dreams are rarely about Women or sex.
So the tables have turned; I'm no longer seeing much internal changes yet I'm starting to see a lot of external changes
To elaborate what happened on Friday: I was out with a girl who is very much interested in me, yet I kept receiving lots of attention from other Women. The kind of desperate attention where they continuously hover round and 'accidentally' bump into you. Two girls in particular, that I remember, where showing interest like this for over an hour. I really couldn't do anything with these IOI's, though, as to not her my friends feelings. Especially as she had made me a string-bracelet that she gave me when I was out. She knows that I'm not overly reciprocative of her interest and that we're just friends, yet I couldn't do anything with other girls in front of her. I've read that Alpha Male may express itself through dreams, well last night I dreamt of a very similar situation where I had a girl begging me for sex, yet I took the moral high ground and turned her down. It's odd because my dreams are rarely about Women or sex.
So the tables have turned; I'm no longer seeing much internal changes yet I'm starting to see a lot of external changes
“To be normal is the ideal aim of the unsuccessful.” - Carl Jung
