"What is an Alpha male?"

[Shannon]

It's so interesting reading this thread because not only did it confirm what I thought the AM program was and is really about but also how it's not at all based on getting women or a girlfriend or getting laid. The fact that people focus so much on that is really mind blowing. I am guilty of being that way myself.I used to think if I just met the right woman or girl that everything in my life would be perfect. It didn't and I attracted a lot of women I didn't realize were incredibly toxic until much later.
To me now its more about how I can be the best man possible. To let go of all the mental and emotional garbage that keeps that from happening. To be fair to the guys who seek relationships. The best ones I've ever had were the ones where I wasn't attached to any outcome.
When you just learn to let go of wanting or needing that is often when it comes and I'm sure you have heard that before like I have.
I know people are told to focus on what they want but in all honesty relationships or meeting women is the one thing I've learned you literally have to let go of to get.Nothing scares women away like desperation and trying to hard.I know I've been there.The more I let go of needing outside approval or acknowledgent the better things are for me.

I have observed an interesting phenomenon concerning women. They are so used to being the receivers of aggression and desire for something from men that they auto-assume that you're going to be aggressive and demand that whatever it is you want from them. They are bracing for impact, and they never get a chance to express their own desires that way.

The other day while I was in Las Vegas I happened to decide that it was time to stop working for a bit and refuel the ol' body, so I left the hotel room and went to the bar to have dinner. The thoughts on my mind were of work, and how to solve problems. At the bar I took the opportunity to observe the people around me, as that is always entertaining. But I had no expectations, and no real interest in interacting. I just wanted to eat and solve the issue of which possible option currently under consideration was best for improving the MPME.

There were three bartenders; two men and a woman. The woman did not interact with me at first, I didn't even know she was there for about 15 minutes. When she did make herself obvious to me, I was pleasantly surprised: petite, well proportioned, and had aged very well. This was a woman who could be of interest, but knowing her age (40's), looks (9 to most guys) and occupation, I knew she was going to have miles of walls up. It didn't matter to me, though, because I wasn't there to hit on, or necessarily even talk to her.

She asked me if I had been cared for and I replied that I had ordered dinner already. She then looked around, and asked, "Would you like me to bring you some bread and butter while you wait?" Interesting, because she was not the one who had claim on my tab, but I accepted. She returned and apologized, saying that I probably would not eat all the bread she brought me, but here it was. Interesting again. Why would she care? Why seem bashful about it?

Over the course of the night, she checked on me more than the other two, who were by no means ignoring me. Good service from all three, to be sure. But she was doing just a little bit more. Then she disappeared for a while, and returned. When she returned, she seemed avoidant. Would not come near me, would not look at me, ignored me. This is always a sign that something is making a woman uncomfortable, and based on the fact that she had been treating me the way she had previously, I concluded that she might be attracted and feeling that it was inappropriate for some reason, possibly because she was involved.

When she was talking to some people across the bar from me, back to me, I heard her mention her 5 year old daughter and husband. Aha! Motive. Then I noticed she had a tattoo on her left ring finger and upon asking about it, she said it was her way of honoring her husband while making it practical to work by removing her wedding ring: the tattoo was his name. Clever. And the more I thought about it, the more I admired her way of honoring him. I told her so, and she seemed hugely relieved, as if she was worried that I was going to hit on her and she would have to reject me. When I never made a move, but instead expressed admiration for how she was honoring her husband, she was not just appreciative, but realized that I respected her relationship and I was not going to make a move. Suddenly there was no pressure on her.

Her response? She suddenly opened up again, and started enjoying my company again. She started actually giving me IOIs again, and when I went to leave, she made sure to be there to thank me for coming in, expressed how she had enjoyed my company and asked if I was going to return. When I replied that I had to be in Vegas again in a few weeks, she rather personally invited me back.

In other words, I did not attack, so she was free to express her own interests and attractions, whether or not she could act on them beyond friendship, and enjoying my company and conversation. Now, because I was needless and respectful, I have an in with her that other guys don't. She is willing to allow me to come closer, and if I play my cards right, I know I can absolutely get her in bed. Do I want to? Not if she's married... but I know I can. Desperation kills the gentleness that allows for success with a lot of women of real value.