07-24-2015, 01:59 AM
Long time lurker, first time poster. Greetings all.
Pretty sure I had my first experience with resistance today. Started AM earlier this week. About... six days in. Just a bit of background for context: First few days were awesome. I'm an avid meditator, very in tune with my mental states and the shift in consciousness and attitude were outstanding. I could literally feel mental "tensions" being unleashed, even confronted my two best friends over something that happened last year. I didn't even realize I was holding such animosity towards them over this. I mean, I knew I was mad, but that anger was manifesting in so many ridiculous passive aggressive ways.
Anyway, I've been doing some marathon runs of AM - 12 to 18hr stretches (yes, I know you're supposed to stop at like 12) and while listening in the theater while waiting for The Vatican Tapes to start (don't waste your money), I suddenly had this overwhelming sadness and feeling that the sub wasn't working and this was a complete waste of time. I just wanted to turn it off and go to sleep.
All these negative feelings from the past came rushing -- that I could never make it in life, that this huge life shift I'm preparing to undertake (gonna become an entrepreneur, never wanna work for someone again) could never manifest. Was a real WTF moment because it was so different from the positive results I was having earlier. It took a good hour of meditation after the movie, logically breaking down the fear (me telling myself that I had read about this feeling all over the forum and that it would pass) before the anxiety went away. It's still lingering, but I feel MUCH better now after spending a more hours listening.
I'm expecting to see a shift in personality soon because I'm thinking the sub took me through an insane mental breakthrough.
Pretty sure I had my first experience with resistance today. Started AM earlier this week. About... six days in. Just a bit of background for context: First few days were awesome. I'm an avid meditator, very in tune with my mental states and the shift in consciousness and attitude were outstanding. I could literally feel mental "tensions" being unleashed, even confronted my two best friends over something that happened last year. I didn't even realize I was holding such animosity towards them over this. I mean, I knew I was mad, but that anger was manifesting in so many ridiculous passive aggressive ways.
Anyway, I've been doing some marathon runs of AM - 12 to 18hr stretches (yes, I know you're supposed to stop at like 12) and while listening in the theater while waiting for The Vatican Tapes to start (don't waste your money), I suddenly had this overwhelming sadness and feeling that the sub wasn't working and this was a complete waste of time. I just wanted to turn it off and go to sleep.
All these negative feelings from the past came rushing -- that I could never make it in life, that this huge life shift I'm preparing to undertake (gonna become an entrepreneur, never wanna work for someone again) could never manifest. Was a real WTF moment because it was so different from the positive results I was having earlier. It took a good hour of meditation after the movie, logically breaking down the fear (me telling myself that I had read about this feeling all over the forum and that it would pass) before the anxiety went away. It's still lingering, but I feel MUCH better now after spending a more hours listening.
I'm expecting to see a shift in personality soon because I'm thinking the sub took me through an insane mental breakthrough.