07-29-2024, 07:47 AM
Cycle 5
ASRB2 5:1
No "bad" day this cycle. Job search still inconclusive with sporadic activity.
I've been waking up in the middle of the night, about the time the loops start, for the last few days - even on the rest night.
On the other hand, a friend and fellow member of a Rule 4 organization has been approaching me about taking on some low-level leadership/mentoring roles in that organization. This has also brought back some of the old pain from years ago, and given me new insight on the full scope of what happened back then. I am also very quickly settling back down emotionally after that unintended stirring. Definitely persistent results from previous runs of EHPRA, and I don't believe it's a "random" event that this has happened now.
Going to make a self-diagnosis:
1. Subconscious resistance. Not in the inconclusive job search results as much as in the "bad" days, and now in the overnight wakeups. No insight as to why, or what part of USLM my subconscious might be resisting. But a third of the way through the run there's a shift from "bad" days to waking up as the loops start, so there's a chance to less visible resistance. Potentially progress in overcoming the resistance. I'm also considering a second run depending on the outcome of this run.
2. External events. USLM v4.2, from the old product description, triggers the subconscious to engage a process that, since it's not fully visible from the conscious, looks like "random" events. I think there's some external interaction involved, meaning that external events may impact. And external events for the last month or so have been quite chaotic indeed! if I understand all this correctly, USLM has been "chasing a rapidly moving target" in terms of targeting that subconscious process towards external conditions. Much of that chaos has receded from public view, which is a somewhat hopeful sign.
The only way out is through....
ASRB2 5:1
No "bad" day this cycle. Job search still inconclusive with sporadic activity.
I've been waking up in the middle of the night, about the time the loops start, for the last few days - even on the rest night.
On the other hand, a friend and fellow member of a Rule 4 organization has been approaching me about taking on some low-level leadership/mentoring roles in that organization. This has also brought back some of the old pain from years ago, and given me new insight on the full scope of what happened back then. I am also very quickly settling back down emotionally after that unintended stirring. Definitely persistent results from previous runs of EHPRA, and I don't believe it's a "random" event that this has happened now.
Going to make a self-diagnosis:
1. Subconscious resistance. Not in the inconclusive job search results as much as in the "bad" days, and now in the overnight wakeups. No insight as to why, or what part of USLM my subconscious might be resisting. But a third of the way through the run there's a shift from "bad" days to waking up as the loops start, so there's a chance to less visible resistance. Potentially progress in overcoming the resistance. I'm also considering a second run depending on the outcome of this run.
2. External events. USLM v4.2, from the old product description, triggers the subconscious to engage a process that, since it's not fully visible from the conscious, looks like "random" events. I think there's some external interaction involved, meaning that external events may impact. And external events for the last month or so have been quite chaotic indeed! if I understand all this correctly, USLM has been "chasing a rapidly moving target" in terms of targeting that subconscious process towards external conditions. Much of that chaos has receded from public view, which is a somewhat hopeful sign.
The only way out is through....
