Shannon, I don't know what to say. you hit me hard with that post and it took time to digest it. I'm willing to go in but I'm scared I'll change and hurt my kids by becoming an 'absent father', among other fears. I gotta go with it now though. I have to get there, I'm too tired of feeling like I'm on the bottom. The frustrating thing though shannon is I damnwell know how well your subs work when they're executing/being executed and some times I just need to have a more alpha aura and self confidence and so i really want to run AM6 stage 7, because I know after two days I'll be happier, more accepted, have people calling me to hang out and will make my family happier with a high level of stable presence.
I have severe self esteem issues and still desire to put in a loop of SE here and there, it's almost like I can't function without some higher emphasis on SE; it just allows me to do work and recover from setbacks without being so damn neurotic. I've had to stick SE on in the past just to get through hard deadlines because it turned all my mental chatter into self assured productivity.
Is there any way, Shannon, that you can make booster programs, that can help to do things like amplify the self esteem part of UMS/other long term subs, or allow me/other to boost the alpha subliminal training we've had without totally screwing up the sub we're doing? IF things are how you say they are, I'll be on UMS for the next year, maybe two and that's a long time in my life man, a long time to potentially tolerate procrastination, brain fog and feeling weak.
I'm starting stage 4 tonight, and It's terrifying, I know I'm in for the next year, i'll be repeating these four stages again and again and the thought makes me queasy.
That's what I'm facing, and ok I'll keep on I know it will pass one way or another.
Meanwhile back to sticking to what I've done.
- this last month I made around $2000 last month selling my time
- I did this during work hours and fell behind on a number of tasks
- I've put on weight and have irrationally developed a fear of exercising, because I'm afraid it will do something to my heart (having become paranoid about the impact of the vaccine);
- I went through two weeks of drinking alcohol, which I never do (prior to this I hadn't drunk alcohol in nearly two years), I stopped four days ago, and feel much better since
- I outlined a book and tested it with a few people to see if they were interested/would buy it.
- I've begun applying for higher paying jobs; though I've only started one application for a bank which would allow me to take home just under three times what I currently earn plus expenses (since it would mean moving to another country). It's a huge long shot but I gotta start going for it, I'm getting too bummed about being broke
I have severe self esteem issues and still desire to put in a loop of SE here and there, it's almost like I can't function without some higher emphasis on SE; it just allows me to do work and recover from setbacks without being so damn neurotic. I've had to stick SE on in the past just to get through hard deadlines because it turned all my mental chatter into self assured productivity.
Is there any way, Shannon, that you can make booster programs, that can help to do things like amplify the self esteem part of UMS/other long term subs, or allow me/other to boost the alpha subliminal training we've had without totally screwing up the sub we're doing? IF things are how you say they are, I'll be on UMS for the next year, maybe two and that's a long time in my life man, a long time to potentially tolerate procrastination, brain fog and feeling weak.
I'm starting stage 4 tonight, and It's terrifying, I know I'm in for the next year, i'll be repeating these four stages again and again and the thought makes me queasy.
That's what I'm facing, and ok I'll keep on I know it will pass one way or another.
Meanwhile back to sticking to what I've done.
- this last month I made around $2000 last month selling my time
- I did this during work hours and fell behind on a number of tasks
- I've put on weight and have irrationally developed a fear of exercising, because I'm afraid it will do something to my heart (having become paranoid about the impact of the vaccine);
- I went through two weeks of drinking alcohol, which I never do (prior to this I hadn't drunk alcohol in nearly two years), I stopped four days ago, and feel much better since
- I outlined a book and tested it with a few people to see if they were interested/would buy it.
- I've begun applying for higher paying jobs; though I've only started one application for a bank which would allow me to take home just under three times what I currently earn plus expenses (since it would mean moving to another country). It's a huge long shot but I gotta start going for it, I'm getting too bummed about being broke
