UMS. Let’s get at it

[Paul1131]

ME: The hits keep coming. I had another epiphany tonight. I know why I’ve been feeling stuck and lost for so long. In 2003 I started a process by which one kind of gets rid of their old selves and becomes the self that they’re supposed to be. I can’t go into much detail here because of rules. What I did outwardly was choose a profession that was in line with who I am, and took my first steps on that path. But I now see from some of the thoughts I was having at the time i initiated a more internal process as well. Thing is, I didn’t finish it. That was because I (I would love to say I was UNABLE TO here, but that would be a lie) didn’t let go of a very heavy emotional connection. That was to the girl who got away. The one who I’ve mentioned occasionally in my journals. This left me in a bad situation, I had taken the first steps along the path, and there really is no going back. So I’ve been stuck with that thing half done, which is not good. That explains why I’ve had so much getting into that profession and generally feeling like I’ve been stuck and going nowhere for so long. It also explains some of the imagery that’s been going through my head since then.
Somehow, the sub has gotten me back on track with that.