10-03-2019, 11:50 PM
WIFE: She ordered several books on a more obscure piece of business software (Id never heard of it). She’s already their go to gal with one of the more common ones, and now she’s determined that she’s going to be the go to gal for this one as well. She wants to be certain that she’s going to translate this temp contract into a permanent job, and she appears to be doing a good job of it. Her mood continues to be consistently good, and we’re getting along great.
I asked her about her MS symptoms recently (Checking for MHS TID) and she said that she was more aware of tingling in her hands when she did things with them, and she SAID that she was “dropping” words more. As in forgets what word she was going to say and having to really struggle for it. She was doing that a lot, and for someone with the command of language she had, it was painful to watch. I’m sure it was worse for her. Well, she might THINK she’s doing that more, but now that I thought about it, I swear that she’s actually dropping words a lot less in the past few weeks. Weird that she’s perceive that the opposite way I do.
ME: I haven’t felt much happening this week, but I put that down to being sick. This time I went to the doctor when I first started feeling really bad, and I felt a lot better the next day, but my lungs are still clearing out.
Tonight I started thinking about the effect fear has had on my life, and how much less of it I have now. When I was young, i was paralyzed at the thought of approaching a girl I found attractive, like literally couldn’t do it. Now, I still did very well with the ladies in my late teens and early twenties because if a conversation started organically, or they came to me, I didn’t feel any fear. That happened fairly frequently, I guess because I’m tall muscular and good looking. Or maybe it was some energy thing. The point though is that was a fear barrier that I was never able to breach. I had them in other areas of life too. I would practically freeze up during job interviews, and there were some random other things that I just couldn’t do.
After almost a year on FRM products, I feel a lot less of that in general. When I notice, it feels good.
I asked her about her MS symptoms recently (Checking for MHS TID) and she said that she was more aware of tingling in her hands when she did things with them, and she SAID that she was “dropping” words more. As in forgets what word she was going to say and having to really struggle for it. She was doing that a lot, and for someone with the command of language she had, it was painful to watch. I’m sure it was worse for her. Well, she might THINK she’s doing that more, but now that I thought about it, I swear that she’s actually dropping words a lot less in the past few weeks. Weird that she’s perceive that the opposite way I do.
ME: I haven’t felt much happening this week, but I put that down to being sick. This time I went to the doctor when I first started feeling really bad, and I felt a lot better the next day, but my lungs are still clearing out.
Tonight I started thinking about the effect fear has had on my life, and how much less of it I have now. When I was young, i was paralyzed at the thought of approaching a girl I found attractive, like literally couldn’t do it. Now, I still did very well with the ladies in my late teens and early twenties because if a conversation started organically, or they came to me, I didn’t feel any fear. That happened fairly frequently, I guess because I’m tall muscular and good looking. Or maybe it was some energy thing. The point though is that was a fear barrier that I was never able to breach. I had them in other areas of life too. I would practically freeze up during job interviews, and there were some random other things that I just couldn’t do.
After almost a year on FRM products, I feel a lot less of that in general. When I notice, it feels good.
