07-23-2019, 07:15 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-23-2019, 08:47 AM by HearDontListen.)
These are just some random thoughts that are popping into my head:
I HAVE to make money, we all do. And more money makes for a better healthier life certainly. I have financial responsibilities and people I am responsible for taking care of. I MUST take care of my responsibilities.
But I do not want to live my life just for money.
I want to CREATE first and foremost. And I want to create, what I want to create, so its real and fulfilling... If I live my life with the main goal just to make money I feel I am wasting my life.
Suddenly I find myself focusing more on money and less on art. Maybe that scares me. Fear that I'll live my life with too great a focus money and not enough on creativity. Not enough time spent on what I feel will really fulfill me.
But I bought this program for a reason - maybe this is resistance?
I wish I could just have allot of money so I could just focus on my art (immature and entitled thought). Or I wish I could make allot of money through my art. But I do not know if my art will support me and I have responsibilities. Maybe I am just afraid of going for it - fear of failure. Or fear of being broke and not having money to take care of my responsibilities. Or Fear of Success and all that comes with it?
But I want to just go for it.
Basically, I want money and I also want to do what I want to do. It may be allot to ask for. I want to fulfill my greatest creativity and creativity comes first, money comes second - that's what I want. I wish I didn't need money to be honest. But I do need it, so I'd like lots of it, so I don't have to think or worry about it, and can take care of the things I need to. Is this a contradiction? I feel like I'm being pulled/torn in two directions.
I don't know if there is a question here and I apologize for the rambling. Maybe I'm wondering if how I'm feeling is in conflict with this program? These are not new thoughts for me either, I've felt like this for a long time before using the program.
I HAVE to make money, we all do. And more money makes for a better healthier life certainly. I have financial responsibilities and people I am responsible for taking care of. I MUST take care of my responsibilities.
But I do not want to live my life just for money.
I want to CREATE first and foremost. And I want to create, what I want to create, so its real and fulfilling... If I live my life with the main goal just to make money I feel I am wasting my life.
Suddenly I find myself focusing more on money and less on art. Maybe that scares me. Fear that I'll live my life with too great a focus money and not enough on creativity. Not enough time spent on what I feel will really fulfill me.
But I bought this program for a reason - maybe this is resistance?
I wish I could just have allot of money so I could just focus on my art (immature and entitled thought). Or I wish I could make allot of money through my art. But I do not know if my art will support me and I have responsibilities. Maybe I am just afraid of going for it - fear of failure. Or fear of being broke and not having money to take care of my responsibilities. Or Fear of Success and all that comes with it?
But I want to just go for it.
Basically, I want money and I also want to do what I want to do. It may be allot to ask for. I want to fulfill my greatest creativity and creativity comes first, money comes second - that's what I want. I wish I didn't need money to be honest. But I do need it, so I'd like lots of it, so I don't have to think or worry about it, and can take care of the things I need to. Is this a contradiction? I feel like I'm being pulled/torn in two directions.
I don't know if there is a question here and I apologize for the rambling. Maybe I'm wondering if how I'm feeling is in conflict with this program? These are not new thoughts for me either, I've felt like this for a long time before using the program.