Bloom day 1
I feel more and more dissatisfaction, and "resentment" towards passive patterns. Why am I doing that while I know my skills, knowing money can be easily made through a fuck all attitude. I got nothing to lose. Is it selfvalidation? Selflove? I feel im to intellectual, like it stands in my way. Maybe im trying to find a balance, probably its just fear which im willingly to investigate. I wonder what fears are playing under the hood. It sure fucks me over in some way and im at the point of giving those up. To much fizzling out in attitude and responsibility and leadership. Leading myself that is, fully embracing and expressing inner resources. Bringing this up makes me slightly depressed.
Sometimes, with dealing and having ums on board, I still feel a sense of wasting time and just getting with it, while not feeling the drive and energy. Selfattack is never good and not solution thinking based but I want to just throw all out and just go. It aint that difficult. I dont want to wait any lomger and it kills me.
Now, as I ran 7 loops last night in wondering if I should run it again. It might get me out of this slow process and accelerate things. I have lotsa visions, ideas and what not, yet im wondering whats stopping me? Thriving is great and life is to be lived, and money can be a by-effect on that, which my mind is occupied with.
Its such a mindfuck. A clusterfuck.
This resentment hopefully means the end of bs and living and awesome life. I feel my energy signature change now.
Oh, as I was having insights, shame came up. Around mind investment and standing out. Ums truly brings me on the leading edge with full flow capability.
I feel more and more dissatisfaction, and "resentment" towards passive patterns. Why am I doing that while I know my skills, knowing money can be easily made through a fuck all attitude. I got nothing to lose. Is it selfvalidation? Selflove? I feel im to intellectual, like it stands in my way. Maybe im trying to find a balance, probably its just fear which im willingly to investigate. I wonder what fears are playing under the hood. It sure fucks me over in some way and im at the point of giving those up. To much fizzling out in attitude and responsibility and leadership. Leading myself that is, fully embracing and expressing inner resources. Bringing this up makes me slightly depressed.
Sometimes, with dealing and having ums on board, I still feel a sense of wasting time and just getting with it, while not feeling the drive and energy. Selfattack is never good and not solution thinking based but I want to just throw all out and just go. It aint that difficult. I dont want to wait any lomger and it kills me.
Now, as I ran 7 loops last night in wondering if I should run it again. It might get me out of this slow process and accelerate things. I have lotsa visions, ideas and what not, yet im wondering whats stopping me? Thriving is great and life is to be lived, and money can be a by-effect on that, which my mind is occupied with.
Its such a mindfuck. A clusterfuck.
This resentment hopefully means the end of bs and living and awesome life. I feel my energy signature change now.
Oh, as I was having insights, shame came up. Around mind investment and standing out. Ums truly brings me on the leading edge with full flow capability.
