09-21-2014, 01:33 PM
Long time no see - I've been busy.
This is the entry I wanted to post one week before I completed Stage 1:
- I feel great ( I could stop here
)
- went on a festivity with some family members and I got hit on several times by women, they chatted me up
- I get the looks by women, just yesterday one beauty was obviously bored by her boyfriend, but I was not interested
- I don't care what others think
- I actually walk very slowly, even when crossing the street so that cars often have to hit the brakes and honk ( maybe I should change that
- had great sex with a ff ( fantastic friendesse ) of mine several times ( would have without SM, as we always do
- went out more than ever before
- met several women on a boring workshop, some of them are basically wife material, beyond the 10 scale, really, not fitting into a paradigm. A joy to have met them. This was really great, great chemistry, natural interaction, and *real* interest what those women do and what they do, this was genuine on my side ( see next point ). Maybe this is the manifestation of a circle of friends from AM? Because this is really something special as there is currently growing something out of it, it seems.
- I actually value (!) women very much (did before, but did only work on women I knew closely and also because I viewed myself as kind of inferior , but due to AM and SM I view myself as equal ),
despite that I feared with SM ( as I interpreted some journals ...) I thought I might not actually value them. I can somehow see, where their mask ends and the true traits begin, that's why I have compassion and understanding for them. There are of course bitches, but I won't waste my time with them. Still have met only good ones.
- I actually got shit-tested by a young woman, which I ignored and then she noticed that this was basically a subconscious reaction by her and she started laughing and felt a bit guilty then she started to hit on me next day when we saw each other again ( the workshop ... ). I was too busy talking to yet another women to ask for her phone number then.
- A middle eastern girl who worked at a hotel I slept hit on me. I was not in the mood at that time.
- I often unconsciously smile then I look into some direction and there stands a women looking at me. Great mechanism.
Now: I'm two weeks into Stage 2:
- I met a nice girl at a cafe and now whenever I go there, she is there. I'll see what happens, if she is a tourist, she might be gone already.
- Several older women looked at me at cafes, restaurants with devious things in mind
- I had some bouts of depressive thinking
- had some anxiety, but still can talk to girls, they still want to keep the conversation up
- I went to places I never was before :-)
I'm already gone again
See you!
This is the entry I wanted to post one week before I completed Stage 1:
- I feel great ( I could stop here
)- went on a festivity with some family members and I got hit on several times by women, they chatted me up
- I get the looks by women, just yesterday one beauty was obviously bored by her boyfriend, but I was not interested
- I don't care what others think
- I actually walk very slowly, even when crossing the street so that cars often have to hit the brakes and honk ( maybe I should change that
- had great sex with a ff ( fantastic friendesse ) of mine several times ( would have without SM, as we always do
- went out more than ever before
- met several women on a boring workshop, some of them are basically wife material, beyond the 10 scale, really, not fitting into a paradigm. A joy to have met them. This was really great, great chemistry, natural interaction, and *real* interest what those women do and what they do, this was genuine on my side ( see next point ). Maybe this is the manifestation of a circle of friends from AM? Because this is really something special as there is currently growing something out of it, it seems.
- I actually value (!) women very much (did before, but did only work on women I knew closely and also because I viewed myself as kind of inferior , but due to AM and SM I view myself as equal ),
despite that I feared with SM ( as I interpreted some journals ...) I thought I might not actually value them. I can somehow see, where their mask ends and the true traits begin, that's why I have compassion and understanding for them. There are of course bitches, but I won't waste my time with them. Still have met only good ones.
- I actually got shit-tested by a young woman, which I ignored and then she noticed that this was basically a subconscious reaction by her and she started laughing and felt a bit guilty then she started to hit on me next day when we saw each other again ( the workshop ... ). I was too busy talking to yet another women to ask for her phone number then.
- A middle eastern girl who worked at a hotel I slept hit on me. I was not in the mood at that time.
- I often unconsciously smile then I look into some direction and there stands a women looking at me. Great mechanism.
Now: I'm two weeks into Stage 2:
- I met a nice girl at a cafe and now whenever I go there, she is there. I'll see what happens, if she is a tourist, she might be gone already.
- Several older women looked at me at cafes, restaurants with devious things in mind
- I had some bouts of depressive thinking
- had some anxiety, but still can talk to girls, they still want to keep the conversation up
- I went to places I never was before :-)
I'm already gone again
See you!
Focus and push through. (Uncle B)
