The Start of A Sexual Journey: Prologue To AM6

[maxx55]

Today
BIATBWS
2:22 via earbuds
9:02 via speakers

AoS
4:12 via earbuds

Alright, I'm going to go back to using a combination of both ultrasonic and masked on December 2nd if I haven't found anything that proves ultrasonic solo works best. I've been getting less "looks" recently so I'm thinking ultrasonic isn't as effective, at least not using it solo.

On the bright side, Thanksgiving break was alright, but I've been thinking of the work I have to get done in the back of my head. Got a lot to do. I've lately been just playing the subs and not thinking too much about them also. I'm thinking a little further ahead than "right now" anyway. If I don't have something that seems solid to me by around the end of December, then I may just stop the run. What do you guys think?

I just don't want to start next year doing something that isn't even helping. So I guess that's more of my call of whether this combo or OF would be best for the start of 2016.

I'll be honest though. Back when I planned on running this combo, I REALLY didn't want to be alone on Valentine's Day and not have anyone to f***. Seriously. I thought to myself that if the subs actually helped I'd DEFINITELY have at least one hot girl to f*** on v-day.

[Vincent_Vega]

What do you mean by solid? You are already getting stares, right? Maybe it's time to act on them. And if you're afraid of acting on them, then maybe it's time for OF or some confidence stuff.

Did you think about putting your focus on AOS? From what I read, AOS delivers better results than BIATBW or rather you see more complaints about BIATBW not working then about AOS not working.

[maxx55]

AoS
4:24 via earbuds
5:31 via speakers

BIATBWS
2:06 via speakers
8:26 via earbuds

Something pretty substantial happened today. Again, I'll hold off on talking about it until later this week. But if this happens with girls find really attractive, I'll have to give a good testimonial!

What do you mean by solid? You are already getting stares, right? Maybe it's time to act on them. And if you're afraid of acting on them, then maybe it's time for OF or some confidence stuff.

Did you think about putting your focus on AOS? From what I read, AOS delivers better results than BIATBW or rather you see more complaints about BIATBW not working then about AOS not working.

I should have used better choice of a word instead of "solid". I meant consistent. The thing is I got no looks when I was back in my home town and I was out. I also did take action today...and man that was kinda funny what happened...more details later this week!

I have been feeling like f****** lately, but I have so much work to do between now and the end of this week. I really just went ham on pron today for the little bit of time I had to spare in between getting things done, but I think I got it out of my system.

I didn't workout the past 4 or so days due to the holiday, doing homework, shopping, etc. I'm going to get back to it tomorrow.

[TheRealJustin]

Run these two for a long time.

[maxx55]

Run these two for a long time.

How long do you suggest?

[maxx55]

So today I went to talk to a girl that I thought was kinda attractive. I went up and asked about some stupid shit from class. She was helpful and all, but I didn't even move the convo anywhere and I started walking a different direction from her and just said thanks. That was that. I got super pissed off at myself for the rest of the day pretty much. This is the first time that I fully recognized that I created that emotional response within myself. I felt that I did it to myself. But at the same time I can't say that I didn't deserve it. I just want it to stop though. It's not as bad now, but it was really bad earlier.

Also my SleepPhones came today. I feel that XL is slightly too big so I'm going with one size fits all. They sent me the wired pair instead of the wireless pair by accident, so when I get it exchanged, getting the right size should be no problem. Then I'll be getting PURE earphone usage ALL the time.

[maxx55]

Yesterday

BIATBWS
1:29 via earbuds
7:15 via speakers

AoS
7:33 via earbuds
1 hr via speakers

I'm definitely going to switch back over to masked and ultra starting tomorrow. It seems the masked track has some benefits that the ultrasonic doesn't. Also I've been thinking that I'll want to try MLS 5G and also Grow Taller 5G. I'm 20 right now so I know I should do Grow Taller in the next year or two at the latest. So as of right now, OF, MLS, AM6, and Grow Taller are in the near future (next 2 yrs). I just want to know what order would be best to tackle them in. From the very start and the reason I came on this forum and started using subs was to solve all my issues relating to girls. I'm already tackling that so would it be best to finish taking care of this issue before moving on to others or would it make no difference in the long run? Regardless, I feel that I should follow up OF with AM6, whatever order I happen to listen to them.

Right now I'm not feeling the best emotionally. I don't know what to do. I'm having violent thoughts. But I know I'm just doing it to myself. I don't want to do that to myself anymore. This tells me that I have to get myself on track internally. I haven't done meditation the past few days. So I'll definitely do that. And I need to get a workout in today. Yesterday came and went and I didn't do one. But today I have no excuse not to, I will. And I made a promise to myself today that I wouldn't watch pron today. I didn't watch any yesterday, but I felt like promising myself today.

Also, I may try listening to only the masked subs and see what happens. I'll post tonight about what changed when I listened to only ultrasonic.

[maxx55]

I've been thinking more lately, and I think I'm in a state of depression right now. It's not as bad as when I was on EPRHA initially, but still...it's definitely affected my life in a huge way. I'm just starting to feel like I'm not enough or that I just may not do well. I mean the semester has gone by and I haven't been on a "date" or anything at all. That's a hell of a lot worse than my previous semester. And I'm feeling like I'm small and caged. Like there's nothing I can do in certain situations. I almost feel like a lot of stuff is just meaningless. Right now, it almost makes more sense to play a fucking video game than to go out in the world and try to do something. At least in a game, I can understand how to achieve a certain goal and simply DO IT or practice and DO IT. I just don't really know what else to do at this point. I just want to feel comfortable and accepted by the people in my major and I want girls to obsess and fantasize about me. That's what I want right now. But I want bigger things in life to, it's just that those are the things I REALLY want RIGHT NOW! I just want to fucking succeed!

[maxx55]

AoS
8:50 via speakers

BIATBWS
6:57 via earbuds

I will post about the things the sub may have influenced in the 2nd half of this post. Right now, I kinda don't really know what to think. I just want to enjoy my life. But at the same time it feels like I won't let myself do that. I'm telling you guys, it really has felt hopeless at times the past couple of days. And I mean hopeless that I'll solve my problem relating to girls. I know where I want to be, but it feels almost impossible to see how close or far away I am from achieving it. So I always think I'm so damn far away. I had an interaction with my female friend today and she introduced me to her friend since they were sitting together. Her friend seemed sort of attractive, but as soon as a guy friend of hers came along they started talking for a long time so I just talked with my friend. And afterwards, when my friend showed her some pic of a guy she likes, she kind of asked me to leave in the nicest way possible so they could talk about it alone. Wow...

Anyway, I'm going to list off the things that happened that may have been influenced by the sub:

(Ultrasonic and Masked)
-Some girls make eye contact as I pass by

-Some look down before they pass, but we haven't even made eye contact

-One girl looked at me, looked away, and then looked at me again. I wasn't sure if I knew her at first, but after looking I definitely didn't know her

-One girl made eye contact with me, gave a big smile and said hi and continued skipping down the hall

-Girls I've known, attractive or not, seemed to cross paths/be somewhere in the environment at a MUCH higher frequency than before. This is what I believe to be the manifestation part. It was impossible for them to be consciously doing it.

-I've noticed that sometimes some girls would make eye contact and give a little smile. It wasn't anything special in my mind, it just happened at a higher frequency now than before. It's happened in a variety of circumstances and the smile was not needed, but they did it anyway

-Some days no social anxiety, most days just a little. In very specific circumstances, a bit more social anxiety. At the end of EPRHA though that wasn't the case so it's definitely this combo
-Forogt things MUCH more often

-Stronger desire to bend over attractive girls in public and fuck them on the spot

-Girl that worked at subway let me get 3 scoops of tuna for free when I asked for tuna and was ready to pay

(Ultrasonic Only)

-Looks became less frequent/stopped

-A girl that I already met before, but haven't talked to in a while since she sort of stood me up (which was the only time that's ever happened), approached me. We both had help with our papers. I leave the building right before her and she comes up to me and asks me about the paper since she heard I was writing about the same thing as her. She didn't recognize me and I thought it MAY have been who I thought it was, but I didn't think so. We talked for awhile going in the same direction. I said that I have to go but we can continue the convo later and said we can exchange numbers. When she went to put her number in, her name came up on my phone, I was surprised, but I didn't say anything...when I texted her my name, I came up on her phone...she didn't remember when we met or anything. I didn't try to make her remember either, I just brushed it off and said it wasn't important. We hugged and said our goodbyes. If anything, this was the most noticeable thing because a girl that didn't know she knew me, approached me first. Although, I had heard that she's into guys with a similar skin tone

-More anxiety than before

-More violent thoughts than before (may just be me playing Devil May Cry)

-I never wake and feel awesome. This use to happen rarely with masked and ultra but never with ultra alone.

-Feeling more hopeless

I'm already back listening to the masked tracks with the ultrasonic. I may try pure masked track and see how that goes. I just hope this combo run gets better. If what I got while doing masked and ultrasonic could just become consistent then I'd know the subs are definitely sinking in. Or if I got another approach from a hot girl that'd be great too.

[Vincent_Vega]

That sounds great, man. Now keep going for a few months and then tell us about your excessive sexual adventures

[maxx55]

I only listened to the mask track for 2 hrs before going to sleep with the ultrasonic. And I woke up feeling better than I have in a little while.

When I get my sleepphones, I'll go all masked for at least a week if I can still get to sleep.

[maxx55]

BIATBWS
2:25 via earbuds
8:59 via speakers

AoS
40 minutes via speakers
7:00 via earbuds

Update: Starting today, all earbud usage is the masked track again. The trickling stream.

I woke up today. And I felt good again. All day in fact. I was going to approach some girls today. I didn't approach mainly because I didn't want to in front of other people. I did talk to some that I already know. I didn't notice too many looks or anything. The main thing is that I enjoyed my day today. That's the best part!

After one of my classes, I was going to talk to one girl that's in my class. I loss track of her for a little while and by the time I saw her and caught up as crossing the street, she was going in some direction that I couldn't figure out how to justify if I went in that same direction so I didn't proceed. At the stop light though, she did turn around and see me. I think we made eye contact and she turned around and looked again. It was right as the crosswalk turned to walk that I was going in, but she was going in another way. Edit: We did have a short interaction in class also a couple weeks ago. I decided I was attracted to her sometime after that though

Also, on the elevator going to one of my friends rooms, a girl started a short convo with me. She asked me if she was in the right building. And we talked a little from there. She could've asked someone else because another guy came in right behind her, but she asked me after I hurried and caught the elevator.

I went to the asian food place I go to often. Haven't been in a few days. The second time there today, the lady rang me up for just rice when I got all chicken. She saved me a little over $2 doing that. Instead of 5.53, it was 3.31 I think. Awesome. First time she's ever done that

I did watch pron today. I really wanted to f***. I hadn't done a workout either. And it got too late after that. But I made myself do 50 pushups with as little rest as possible just to do something. I really liked the pump in my muscles after that!

[maxx55]

Today is Day 48
AoS
3:02 via earbuds
8:24 via speakers

BIATBWS
3:21 via earbuds

Well today, I did everything I could to try to get a couple of girls that I sorta know to grab some food sometime soon and it didn't happen. I didn't get a real "no" from anyone, but it I mentioned it like three times and no one was really excited about it. One of the two girls I am interested in and she said that she had rehearsal later that day, but then I just said another day is fine. Anyway, nothing happened, I did all I could without being desperate a teacher was right there and I wasn't gonna embarrass myself in front of her. So I did what I could, really. Afterwards, I felt sad. And I sort of thought maybe I'm hopeless. It's events like this that make me just wonder what's the point. I haven't had an equally positive experience yet. I don't see girls getting super turned on by my presence. It makes me wonder if the subs are really helping me achieve my desired goal.

I start to doubt if I can be where I want to with girls. It's a negative thought spiral essentially. I'm better right now, but what should I do? If I'm not doing something right I'd love to know what it is so I can fix it.

I found a video from Elliot Hulse saying to simply not entertain negative thoughts and to change what thoughts knock on the door to my mind. I guess I'll do that for now.

[Vincent_Vega]

So I did what I could, really.

Maybe that was your problem. Maybe you just invested too much or thought about the whole thing too much. Do something and ask if she wants to join. If not, fine. Then ask a second time anywhere in the future. If she still doesn't want to -> next.