The Modern Libertine's diary

[Cortez]

I have been really trying very hard lately to be kind of loving to just about everyone I meet. It's a great practice and I've had some very glowing experiences, but it's a little difficult at times, lol. It's very easy to get stuck in your head. It's amazing, though, how even the most weathered, cut off and mean looking old woman can instantly change when you just look at them in passing, smile and say "hello" from a place of genuinely meaning it. Everyone is so cut off from one another. I'm done with that. I've been a lot more focused on the present moment lately because of this.


Also, I decided yesterday that I am moving back out the country, probably this week. I lived out there about four or five years ago and I realized that I was much happier out in the country. I don't much care for city life. The neurosis of people here kind of grinds on my nerves. I'll be much more at peace where I'm moving. I'm excited.

[Spiral]

Dude awesome! What are you going to be doing out in the country?

[Ryan]

That is awesome. Invite us all out for a big party on your farm Let's party!!

Ryan

[Spiral]

Dude if you are going to start growing crops only organic yo.. but do what you want. Sounds awesome and I'm happy for you!

[Cortez]

My mom lives out there, I'm just moving in with her for the moment and finding some land out there a little later on.

Spiral-Yeah, I'm totally going to learn to grow organic. I'll probably get some dairy goats too. I'm so at peace out there. I love it.

Ryan- Parties are so much more fun out in the middle of nowhere.

[Cortez]

I'm about 75% done with stage 5 of alpha now and recently I have been really calm and rock solid. I've been very focused lately on everything I set my mind to and at work in particular, my boss keeps trying to force me in to a promotion and put me over a bunch of people as one of the bosses. I finally decided that I'd give it a shot because it seems easier than what I'm doing now and I'd make way more money. Everyone seems to be looking to me for guidance these days. It's very interesting.

I have had almost no desire to socialize lately. I've been more caught up in reading books most of the time, but I did go to my friends birthday party last night at his house and it was very amusing how things turned out. At some point in the night, this "Bi, but mostly lesbian." girl kept telling me I looked like Sam from Supernatural and then proceeded to tell me about all this erotic fan fic she wrote about him, lmao. Then when she got drunk I was sitting in a chair with my legs spread out and she comes and sits in between them. She realized what she was doing, I guess because she apologized saying "Oh, I'm sorry, I am in your personal space." and of course I had to say "I don't have any personal space." She said "Good!" and started getting all feely, brushing my dick with her hand through my pants and then just outright laying her hand on it. I didn't really care nor did I want her, but I did find it amusing.

All the while these other two girls I know from work who have this strange fixation on me, were sitting there asking me a bunch of questions and when they saw how nonreactive I was being to this girl rubbing all over me, one of them was like "God, Adam is just entirely indifferent to everything!" Which is pretty much true. Then they kept saying things like "If nudity were allowed at this party, Adam would totally be naked right now." and I said "I'd be naked before I even started drinking."

Eventually some guy comes over and wants to Indian leg wrestle me(I won) and then his sister, who I work with comes outside, after, I assume, many shots of Jager, because she's now trashed and starts getting really ridiculous. She has a huge crush on me and so she starts getting all self conscious, thinking I'm now going to think less of her now that I have seen her drunk and keeps trying to make me promise that I won't think less of her...God the insecurities of women in this society just wear me the F out. I'm almost entirely indifferent to all of them these days because I just do not want them, plain and simple. There's really not much more to it than that.

When I was leaving, the lesbian girl let it be known that I shouldn't go because and I quote "I haven't got to molest you yet.' Lmao...So ridiculous.

[SantaRich]

I'm about 75% done with stage 5 of alpha now and recently I have been really calm and rock solid. I've been very focused lately on everything I set my mind to and at work in particular, my boss keeps trying to force me in to a promotion and put me over a bunch of people as one of the bosses. I finally decided that I'd give it a shot because it seems easier than what I'm doing now and I'd make way more money. Everyone seems to be looking to me for guidance these days. It's very interesting.

I have had almost no desire to socialize lately. I've been more caught up in reading books most of the time, but I did go to my friends birthday party last night at his house and it was very amusing how things turned out. At some point in the night, this "Bi, but mostly lesbian." girl kept telling me I looked like Sam from Supernatural and then proceeded to tell me about all this erotic fan fic she wrote about him, lmao. Then when she got drunk I was sitting in a chair with my legs spread out and she comes and sits in between them. She realized what she was doing, I guess because she apologized saying "Oh, I'm sorry, I am in your personal space." and of course I had to say "I don't have any personal space." She said "Good!" and started getting all feely, brushing my dick with her hand through my pants and then just outright laying her hand on it. I didn't really care nor did I want her, but I did find it amusing.

All the while these other two girls I know from work who have this strange fixation on me, were sitting there asking me a bunch of questions and when they saw how nonreactive I was being to this girl rubbing all over me, one of them was like "God, Adam is just entirely indifferent to everything!" Which is pretty much true. Then they kept saying things like "If nudity were allowed at this party, Adam would totally be naked right now." and I said "I'd be naked before I even started drinking."

Eventually some guy comes over and wants to Indian leg wrestle me(I won) and then his sister, who I work with comes outside, after, I assume, many shots of Jager, because she's now trashed and starts getting really ridiculous. She has a huge crush on me and so she starts getting all self conscious, thinking I'm now going to think less of her now that I have seen her drunk and keeps trying to make me promise that I won't think less of her...God the insecurities of women in this society just wear me the F out. I'm almost entirely indifferent to all of them these days because I just do not want them, plain and simple. There's really not much more to it than that.

When I was leaving, the lesbian girl let it be known that I shouldn't go because and I quote "I haven't got to molest you yet.' Lmao...So ridiculous.

Wait until you hit stage 6, the mindset and just plain feeling is AWESOME.

Funny you mention organic farms, I was talking to this cutie in my qi gong class and it turns out she is going to go to new zealand for a couple of months and through some organization she is going to work on organic farms, from farm to farm.
Spoiler Alert:
And Game of Thrones is an awesome show, too bad that dude died in the first season, he was pretty bad ass.

[Ryan]

Adam, I notice when girls are drunk they are much more expressive in interest towards me. And oddly enough, many of them (who appear to be social and confident) end up being very quiet or non-responsive to me at first but then they get drunk and they become completely different women and showing significant interest. At times, I'm extremely surprised to it lol.

Also, check out that movie "Wanderlust", let's start a hippy, nudist community on your farm LOL.

Ryan

[RainbowAbyss]

awesome movie!

[Cortez]

Ryan, young women are pretty predictable. Whatever they insist on telling you more than once is usually the complete opposite. Silly creatures. I'll have to check out that Wanderlust movie, but truth be told, Hippies usually annoy the hell out of me, lol.

@Santa- Stage 6 is coming soon. Stage 5 has been somewhat rough, so I'm ready for the end of this journey...so I can do it again in another couple of months. I've been starting to use Everything is Possible again too.

[Ryan]

Ahh man, hippy girls are so much fun. Going to Bonnaroo this year is like paradise for all of them. Everyone is so free and...topless. Lol.

Ryan

[Cortez]

Hippy girls can be fun for sure; not always fun to talk to, however.

[Ryan]

The ones I met were enjoyable. Some of the messed up ones were even more fun. Throw a couple plastic bottles on the ground though...

Ryan

[Cortez]

They're usually nice enough, but not very intelligent. Case in point being the hippy girls littering, lmao.