06-28-2017, 07:34 AM
Holy shit. 5 loops of A is pretty rough right now. Just felt very low, unmotivated in life, needy around girls. Lots of feelings of low self worth. I'm not loving myself right now. Hating my freedom. Just feels like aimlessness now. The grass seems greener everywhere else but here.
(Pheromone related)
Today was the first time in some time I wore pheromones. I wore Voodoo by LAL. It has the effect of magnifying feelings for me and others. It was in a masochistic self-hurting way that I decided to wear it. I wanted to expose myself to the healing faster. Goddamn I got what I wanted. My perception just saw the worst in everything. People stuck in the rush hour commute? At least they have a job, not like me I'm so aimless. A girl in dance walking with a boy? Must be her bf. God I thought she likes me, she's been so touchy feely these few days. Guess nobody really wants to be with me. Guess my ex is also with somebody now (and on and on).
Even my business is not doing as well as it used to and I have no idea why. And I'm supposed to be working on new products but I just can't find the motivation to do it.
Just a really shitty time. I'm not sure how to maximise this time of healing. The issues are not really about women, but about me.
(Pheromone related)
Today was the first time in some time I wore pheromones. I wore Voodoo by LAL. It has the effect of magnifying feelings for me and others. It was in a masochistic self-hurting way that I decided to wear it. I wanted to expose myself to the healing faster. Goddamn I got what I wanted. My perception just saw the worst in everything. People stuck in the rush hour commute? At least they have a job, not like me I'm so aimless. A girl in dance walking with a boy? Must be her bf. God I thought she likes me, she's been so touchy feely these few days. Guess nobody really wants to be with me. Guess my ex is also with somebody now (and on and on).
Even my business is not doing as well as it used to and I have no idea why. And I'm supposed to be working on new products but I just can't find the motivation to do it.
Just a really shitty time. I'm not sure how to maximise this time of healing. The issues are not really about women, but about me.