06-17-2017, 06:49 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-17-2017, 06:51 AM by Raikahoken.)
Day 26-27
3 loops ultrasonic
Just quite absorbed at inventory planning in my business. I felt quite peaceful. Like a resigned calm.
Day 28
4 loops ultrasonic
Increased the loops because I felt the healing was stagnating.
I started talking to new girls again on Tinder. I actually enjoyed it. Previously talking to girls on Tinder have always been like manipulation to me. I would put them through a standard series of questions to qualify them and then asked them out. It was a sequence I developed during my SM3 run and I never bothered to make changes since. I always felt needy when they stop responding. This time I enjoyed it. Responses were good.
I had a feeling that something was starting under the hood. There was a deep sadness that is barely perceptible, I won't notice it unless I pay attention. It's not about my ex, I'm not even thinking much about her these days.
Day 29
4 loops ultrasonic
I felt very annoyed at my work. Just can't wait for it to end!
I added new things to my Tinder question series and it worked quite well. Asked out two girls for a spontaneous meetup, one was down, the other gave me her number to reschedule. Sweet. Met her at a bar. She's quite cute. And she's also an entrepreneur, so we had lots to talk about. But long story short, she's the conservative type. I made it clear that I want an intimate relationship, and she can't do that. Well ok, next! She continued to text me at night and the day after, but I just gave her one word replies. She learned a lot from my stories but I didn't learn much because she's much less successful. I feel she wants to keep me as a friend. No thanks!
Day 30 (today)
4 loops ultrasonic
Dance rehearsal in the morning. I felt quite happy dancing. I felt like people were looking at me when I danced. Tyrant girl said I smelled like her Chinese teacher. I was wearing Millesime Imperial. Dance partner complimented my dancing.
Met FWB. I was very very sleepy. Didn't talk much with her. Just felt like I had nothing to talk about. I wasn't looking forward to the sex at all. My mood was very flat. Just kept talking about the same things. In the hotel, things were not exciting. I was kind of lazy and let her do everything. F*cked her long but I felt like I didn't know why I was doing it and what's the meaning behind it. Just slept after that. I felt like it was a waste of time to spend time with her like that.
Ballet after that. I didn't feel good dancing. I felt like I was sad. There was something I am missing and it's not girls. The pretty girl talked to me a bit but I didn't feel like talking to her. I felt my attraction to her, but I had no motivation to go after it.
It was time to go for my weekly Tinder Boost but I didn't feel like it. Just felt apathetic to girls right now. I feel like I'm in the clearing phase now. My eyes are still drawn towards various girls' body parts but I just felt like what's the point. I also feel a little sick. I have sore throat and no voice today. Hope I can get out of this funk with more enthusiasm!
3 loops ultrasonic
Just quite absorbed at inventory planning in my business. I felt quite peaceful. Like a resigned calm.
Day 28
4 loops ultrasonic
Increased the loops because I felt the healing was stagnating.
I started talking to new girls again on Tinder. I actually enjoyed it. Previously talking to girls on Tinder have always been like manipulation to me. I would put them through a standard series of questions to qualify them and then asked them out. It was a sequence I developed during my SM3 run and I never bothered to make changes since. I always felt needy when they stop responding. This time I enjoyed it. Responses were good.
I had a feeling that something was starting under the hood. There was a deep sadness that is barely perceptible, I won't notice it unless I pay attention. It's not about my ex, I'm not even thinking much about her these days.
Day 29
4 loops ultrasonic
I felt very annoyed at my work. Just can't wait for it to end!
I added new things to my Tinder question series and it worked quite well. Asked out two girls for a spontaneous meetup, one was down, the other gave me her number to reschedule. Sweet. Met her at a bar. She's quite cute. And she's also an entrepreneur, so we had lots to talk about. But long story short, she's the conservative type. I made it clear that I want an intimate relationship, and she can't do that. Well ok, next! She continued to text me at night and the day after, but I just gave her one word replies. She learned a lot from my stories but I didn't learn much because she's much less successful. I feel she wants to keep me as a friend. No thanks!
Day 30 (today)
4 loops ultrasonic
Dance rehearsal in the morning. I felt quite happy dancing. I felt like people were looking at me when I danced. Tyrant girl said I smelled like her Chinese teacher. I was wearing Millesime Imperial. Dance partner complimented my dancing.
Met FWB. I was very very sleepy. Didn't talk much with her. Just felt like I had nothing to talk about. I wasn't looking forward to the sex at all. My mood was very flat. Just kept talking about the same things. In the hotel, things were not exciting. I was kind of lazy and let her do everything. F*cked her long but I felt like I didn't know why I was doing it and what's the meaning behind it. Just slept after that. I felt like it was a waste of time to spend time with her like that.
Ballet after that. I didn't feel good dancing. I felt like I was sad. There was something I am missing and it's not girls. The pretty girl talked to me a bit but I didn't feel like talking to her. I felt my attraction to her, but I had no motivation to go after it.
It was time to go for my weekly Tinder Boost but I didn't feel like it. Just felt apathetic to girls right now. I feel like I'm in the clearing phase now. My eyes are still drawn towards various girls' body parts but I just felt like what's the point. I also feel a little sick. I have sore throat and no voice today. Hope I can get out of this funk with more enthusiasm!
