08-10-2017, 02:22 PM
(08-10-2017, 02:06 PM)Raz Wrote: The anger is back.
While the past few days have been relatively quiet, today was characterized by pure very deep anger. I was openly angry and snapped at people that acted smug and entitled, I felt burningly angry towards people that I perceived to take advantage of me, angry at people for telling me how to do things when they themselves couldn't do them properly at all. I even yelled furiously at my dad in a dream last night.
I am not sure but I have a hunch that this is related to the long past days of elementary school and even kindergarten. It just ominously reminds me of it.
Interesting things is that as soon as I release the anger verbally (doesn't matter if I raise my voice or calmly express what angers me) it is gone. No mental replay, no sulking, no 'I am better than thou'. Well ... like really released. Maybe ... is this how such a state of mind should be dealt with in a healthy way?
Quite possibly. I had a similar thing occur yesterday, DMSI-related, when releasing my anger resulting from me being annoyed by people's dishonesty and backstabbing; I belted out the song "Walk" by Pantera, and felt lighter, calm and elated afterwards, and had the annoying "mental replay" (I have that in spades, heh) stop.
Hmm, perhaps verbal expression is the way to go. I've been seriously annoyed by the insistent "mental replay" (great term, stealing it
) in the past, and have been trying to figure out a way to deal with it, as I believe it to be my subconscious bugging me about something.Also, I've noticed I've been talking to myself quite a bit when alone in my apartment, also related to things on mental replay.
