LTU 6 Log

[Ruffian]

Stage 6, Day 14

The past week has been interesting in terms of my emotional state. I started out experiencing a lot of fear. Then anger. Then disconnectedness, like I was watching a movie that I was somehow part of but was only  playing a role. Now, the best way I can describe what I feel is un-tethered. I still feel like I'm watching a movie, but I don't feel like I'm playing a role any more. Meanwhile, all the other actors are still acting out their parts as if they're robots running on autopilot. It's as if most of the people around me are pre-programmed to think and act certain ways and curiously those patterns (thoughts & actions) are becoming more and more predictable. 

I've intentionally avoided reporting over the past few days because I've been trying to process what's going on. In fact, I'm still trying to wrap my head around what I'm experiencing. This has been a really odd week.

  Do you notice an alteration of your perception of time?  Like, all this stuff is going on, and yet somehow, it's always now?

That's a good question. Yes, my perception of time was different at one particular point in the week. But I don't think I can describe it as "always now".

Wednesday morning, it 'felt' like it was Monday. It couldn't have been Monday because I had already been to work, so the feeling made no sense whatsoever. That was odd. Going back to my movie analogy... a movie might span days, weeks, months, and in some cases years. For the person watching, it was only a couple of hours. This is the best way I can describe it.

The mental image I have is of a tiny light shining up at the ceiling. The beam is extremely narrow at the source, then spreads out as it approaches the ceiling. Imagine normal life as being the point where the light hits the ceiling, where the beam is spread to its max. Now imagine observing that point from somewhere in between the light source and where it hits the ceiling. The feeling has been sort of like that. Wednesday 'felt' like Monday because time, in that position isn't as "spread out".

I realize what I'm writing probably seems a little bit nutty. Like I said, I avoided reporting because it was a little bit too "out there" for me to grasp.

Thank you for your response.  Yes, experiences like these are hard to put into words.  But trust me, none of this sounds "nutty" to me.

[NOMAD]

Stage 6, Day 16

I had to kick the covers off of me multiple times last night. My body has been sporadically radiating intense heat from my chest/torso and my hands.

I've been using the "becoming" exercise daily since I first mentioned it in this journal. But for the past few weeks, it has been difficult. When I attempt the exercise, I feel like I'm in a mental whirlwind. My thoughts, desires, and imagery are all over the place. In fact, I've almost totally lost interest in the initial experience I was seeking (which is ridiculously particular and based on a severely  "boxed-in" mindset, now that I think about it). The emotional charge of immersing myself in the experience is gone. To me, this suggests that I've progressed beyond the obsessive need for this particular experience.

[fab10]

The same is happening to me (we are in sync with LTU) - I have been practicing daily, with good results, my “meditation” of choice, HeartMath. Yet, in the past couple of weeks not only have I lost the motivation (despite the excellent results so far) but I also have been unable to meet my goals as measured by the feedback machine. Today I resorted to lowering the difficulty, I still would like to keep going but I’ll see how it develops.

[NOMAD]

Stage 5, Day 18

I've been really intolerant of nonsense over the past few days.

[NOMAD]

Stage 6, Day 19

I don't know when it started exactly,  but I'm having a problem with articulation. I struggle to find the right word at the right time and sometimes my mind even goes blank for a few seconds. Today it happened when I jokingly began quoting lyrics to a song that I know well and...nothing. I don't know if a certain part of my brain is maxed out or what,  but it's frustrating. Oddly enough, what I've lost on the verbal end I seem to have gained in intuition. I can "see" things developing and I'm pretty accurate in what I anticipate unfolding in the near future. I've been a pretty intuitive person for as long as I can remember, but lately that has been given a boost.

[NOMAD]

Stage 6, Day 25

Since around week 2, Stage 6 has been touching a nerve. I've had an anger sitting just below the surface that has been waiting to erupt. It seems to be fear based, but it has skipped over the anxiety stage and it's manifesting as aggression. Others have noticed as well. Several of the other stages felt nourishing to me. Stage 6 doesn't. It irritates me. I ended up lowering the volume which made it more comfortable while listening, but I'm still pretty temperamental.

I've also had a hard time thinking clearly and I find myself becoming easily overwhelmed at work. Combined with the underlying anger, I'm struggling, I'm ready for Stage 6 to be finished. Hopefully Stage 7 goes more smoothly.

I can't stop thinking about OFv2. I'm really looking forward to seeing what it can do.

[NOMAD]

Stage 7, Day 4

One thing that has been pretty consistent for me is an effect that is what I would expect from AM7. The best way I can describe it is feeling anchored. It's something that people seem to sense. Some people seem intimidated by it. Some people seem drawn to it in various ways. This 'anchoredness' also seems to intensify the projection of aggressive emotional states. I've seen evidence of this multiple times now. That's not to say I haven't had bouts of fear and anxiety, because I have and they've been pretty rough. But this 'anchoredness' is pretty interesting.

[NOMAD]

Stage 7, Day 4 (cont'd)

Another thing worth noting is that I'm not experiencing any 'high on life' feeling or the happiness and joy that I hoped to be immersed in. This is something I noted in my LTU5 review as well. It's possible that I'm not fully executing. It's possible that what I'm currently experiencing is an intermediate step to that end. It's also possible that I'm looking for something that the LTU series isn't designed to deliver. I'm really not sure at this point. As I alluded to in my last post, most of my LTU6 experience has more in common with what I'd expect from AM7 than what is written on the LTU6 description page.

[NOMAD]

Stage 7, Day 11

Stage 7 has become pretty pleasant to use. It's lighthearted and mild compared to a couple of the individual stages (Stages 3 & 6 come to mind). I don't feel like it's digging deep. It's just smooth running.

I'll most likely switch to OFv2 after day 32 since I have some dense pockets of fear that need to be jackhammered.  With that said, I could definitely see myself running LTU6 Stage 7 in the future as a very pleasant, general purpose "filler" sub on a semi- regular basis (possibly 1-3 months per year).

[NOMAD]

Stage 7, Day 24

Stage 7 continues to impress me in terms of how smooth it is. The anxiety from Stage 6 is gone. Overall outlook is on the positive side of things.

Unless I have some major breakthrough, this will probably be my last entry for this run of LTU6. I'll be switching to OFv2 next week. After that, there's a high probability that I'll return to Stage 7. It's that good.

For anyone curious about why I'll be switching subs,  it's because fear has been a dominant force in my life since childhood. It has impacted me on some very obvious levels. I'm sure it has impacted me on levels that aren't so obvious as well. I need to concentrate firepower on uprooting it and break those chains. I believe that fear is at the core of every self- imposed belief that we all face. That's more clear to me now than it has ever been. It needs to be overcome. That's what I'm about to do.

[RTBoss]

Very good choice.  OFv2 is awesome.

I also enjoy Stage 7.  It really does level up and smooth out the previous stages.

[Aventus45]

Stage 7, Day 24

Stage 7 continues to impress me in terms of how smooth it is. The anxiety from Stage 6 is gone. Overall outlook is on the positive side of things.

Unless I have some major breakthrough, this will probably be my last entry for this run of LTU6. I'll be switching to OFv2 next week. After that, there's a high probability that I'll return to Stage 7. It's that good.

For anyone curious about why I'll be switching subs,  it's because fear has been a dominant force in my life since childhood. It has impacted me on some very obvious levels. I'm sure it has impacted me on levels that aren't so obvious as well. I need to concentrate firepower on uprooting it and break those chains. I believe that fear is at the core of every self- imposed belief that we all face. That's more clear to me now than it has ever been. It needs to be overcome. That's what I'm about to do.

Can’t wait to see your journey with OF V2, its the same plan that I have right now. I definitely feel like both LTU and then OF is a great way to build a foundation going forward in life.

[NOMAD]

Thanks for the responses, guys.

Based on my experience with the tech in Stage 7, I imagine that the same tech in all six stages could really propel this thing to the next level. With 6G, the next LTU release should be something to behold.