Should I run AM 5 again?

[mat422]

So I've been running EPRHA for about 6 months now. I haven't run AM in about a year, maybe 2, crap I don't remember. Anyway, I still have some major sticking points that I still haven't gotten over. The plan was to run EPRHA, get some money, buy the new AM and run that. But that didn't work out so well. I'll be honest I'm not too fond of AM 5, compared to the 2011 version I ran when I first started, AM 5.0 was just kind of all over the place with too much extra stuff thrown in and I didn't really notice any really solid results.

I don't want to say it's an inferior product, but going from EPRHA to alpha 5.0 I feel like maybe I'd kind of be slowing down my progress because of the difference in technology. And even though I haven't had earth shattering results with EPRHA, I've noticed I've definitely made progress in areas of my life I was struggling with before that I couldn't overcome on my own. So it's definitely been benefiting me.

[koshas]

Do what you think is right for you.

Am5 was my first sub from iml.i found some benifits from it.it was a rough run for me.

If you cannot afford am6 .i would go for another run of am5. I think it would still be a push forward.

[mat422]

Do what you think is right for you.

Am5 was my first sub from iml.i found some benifits from it.it was a rough run for me.

If you cannot afford am6 .i would go for another run of am5. I think it would still be a push forward.

I think I might just stick with EPRHA. Getting my life on track is a bigger priority right now than becoming alpha.

[JackOfHearts]

I'll be honest I'm not too fond of AM 5, compared to the 2011 version I ran when I first started, AM 5.0 was just kind of all over the place with too much extra stuff thrown in and I didn't really notice any really solid results.

Well a lot of people here are saying that AM6 is bigger than AM5, if you think AM5 has too much extra stuff then AM6 would be a nightmare for you

Though that's just a theory, some people prefer AM6 than AM5. Just read the recent thread about AM5 vs AM6.
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5338.html

[mat422]

I'll be honest I'm not too fond of AM 5, compared to the 2011 version I ran when I first started, AM 5.0 was just kind of all over the place with too much extra stuff thrown in and I didn't really notice any really solid results.

Well a lot of people here are saying that AM6 is bigger than AM5, if you think AM5 has too much extra stuff then AM6 would be a nightmare for you

Though that's just a theory, some people prefer AM6 than AM5. Just read the recent thread about AM5 vs AM6.
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5338.html

I think Shannon focused in a bit more with AM6 though, maybe I'm wrong. I was one of the guys that suggested it should be more focused and simple, less distractions that would detract from the the core building of being alpha. But some guys here just wanted more and more packed into it. But I'm sure with all the new technology put into it it gets the job done.

[Shannon]

I didn't just allow anything to be put into it. I vetted everything that went in and everything that went in had a purpose and reason for going in. It all matters, and it's all there for specific reasons. Including EHPRA.

There are a number of options available to you, but I have to ask, what are your remaining sticking points and why are they there?

[mat422]

I didn't just allow anything to be put into it. I vetted everything that went in and everything that went in had a purpose and reason for going in. It all matters, and it's all there for specific reasons. Including EHPRA.

There are a number of options available to you, but I have to ask, what are your remaining sticking points and why are they there?

Good to hear. I'm looking forward to eventually running AM6.

I know the one that's troubled me the most is my social anxiety. It's always been the anchor holding me down. While the anxiety I experience in the moment does suck a lot, I find the more problematic issue is avoidance. It just seems like I never change enough in my behaviors, so I'm always fighting with myself to get things done. Even when I break through my comfort zone, there's always that possibility of relapse. It just feels like I'm always on edge, worried when my next mistake will be and if it will send me back to square one.

Part of the issue is I think I'm acutely aware of things around me, which has a tendency to really highlight how messed up things can be when it comes to the behaviors of other people. But I feel like I'm not strong enough to withstand it in day to day life. It wears me down and my psychological state deteriorates. Simple things like holding down a job might be hard for me if I'm not in the right environment, but I can't be too choosy when it comes to jobs especially when I'm struggling financially. It doesn't really help either when a lot of employers nowadays want you to give your heart and soul to the company, but you're just a disposable asset.

It just feels like I'm stuck. And all I really see are other people being driven by money to buy nice cars, nice houses, nice tvs, nice vacations, impress other people, etc. When I just need money to live. But it's like in the US there's this huge web of influence pushing this one way of living and it's hard to go against that and be myself. Maybe go against it isn't the right word, more like navigate it. It's setup in a way where if you don't fit the mold, you have a hard time if you don't have that solid confidence to back it up.

That came out all jumbled. The truth is, I really don't know that well anymore what holds me back. It's all so tangled up with one problem contributing to the next. To pin it all on depression or anxiety is just a gross oversimplification.

[Shannon]

I would say we could easily pin it on fear... but I'm baffled as to what the root of your fears are.

What results have you noticed specifically in response to, and from EHPRA?

[mat422]

I would say we could easily pin it on fear... but I'm baffled as to what the root of your fears are.

What results have you noticed specifically in response to, and from EHPRA?

As am I. This has been a lifelong struggle for me. Just this feeling of fear that I can't pinpoint that just sits over the top of everything in my life.

After using it for a while I've noticed that the avoidant behavior has lessened to a degree, so it's definitely working. It's also given me a stronger conviction that things can improve and helped me let go of holding onto my psychological issues as my identity. And despite the fear, it's given me the push I need at times to do the things I need to do in life. Also it cleared away a lot of guilt and shame tied to my emotions, so I feel more free to express myself. Those are the results that stand out the most to me. There's probably other stuff too, but it might be such a small shift that it's harder for me to notice.

[Shannon]

And you spent 6 months using it? Is EHPRA the sub you feel like you got the most growth and benefit from?

[mat422]

And you spent 6 months using it? Is EHPRA the sub you feel like you got the most growth and benefit from?

Yup. But I was only listening an average of 8 hours a day. It was only within the last month that I've really upped the listening time.

I'd say it definitely feels like I got the most growth from it. Maybe I just need a lot of time with it.

I don't really know the extent of my problems. I know a few times I've talked to my Mom she has the exact same issues as me. And she never really overcame them, just learned to live with them. So I've probably just internalized all her subconscious dysfunctional patterns over the years.

After having a long think about it, I think I have a strong fear of failure. When I screw up or can't do something right I tend to be really hard on myself. It's led me to avoid trying new things unless I have a certainty I could perform them with competency. On top of that I also fear the backlash of performing poorly in a job and being ripped apart for it. It's just a lot of stress even before I actually take on the activity. Maybe I never developed my self esteem enough to see that failure or mistakes aren't a reflection of my worth as a person.

[Shannon]

It sounds more like to me that your core issue may be a lack of self worth. Fear of failure is frequently exactly that, with the fear just being of being reminded of one's perceived "not good enough-ness".

I would say, given what you have said, that if I were in your shoes, I would take a week off EHPRA and then re-run it for another 6 months, this time between 12 and 21 hours per day. It has self validation, self respect, self worth, fear destruction, etc. etc.

It takes time to peel a big onion, man. If EHPRA is doing you good, and I think it is, then keep using it.

[mat422]

It sounds more like to me that your core issue may be a lack of self worth. Fear of failure is frequently exactly that, with the fear just being of being reminded of one's perceived "not good enough-ness".

I would say, given what you have said, that if I were in your shoes, I would take a week off EHPRA and then re-run it for another 6 months, this time between 12 and 21 hours per day. It has self validation, self respect, self worth, fear destruction, etc. etc.

It takes time to peel a big onion, man. If EHPRA is doing you good, and I think it is, then keep using it.

Ok, thanks Shannon. Sounds like a plan.

[Geodude]

As a dude who used to have crippling social anxiety problems:

I did EPRHA, but Overcoming Fear has been absolutely obliterating social anxiety. For example, I no longer have any fear of giving speeches in my class.

Just my 2 cents.