SargeMaximus: Time to Heal (DMSI 3.2A)

[SargeMaximus]

Yeah see, I only weigh 150 lbs lol so losing weight is definitely not what I want from my workouts. That’s why I said it may not be the best for me. Thanks for weighing in tho.

[SargeMaximus]

So today was… interesting.

It's one of those days where you're not sure if you're being shit-tested by everyone, if YOU, yourself, are shitty, or if you're in a new paradigm and this is just the way things are now.

For starters, took out the trash and saw my landlord. He's usually happy to see me. Today he seemed almost mad.

Then I went out to do sales, and got a random call from my cousin. He was in the area and wanted to knock with me. I was happy because I haven't seen him for a while but we've been in contact and he knows how much money I've been making lately.

Anyhow, I got in his car and we start driving around. Then he's just super disappointed by the area, saying it's no good and just taking a massive verbal shit on it (despite me doing well there yesterday as I mentioned in this journal).

Eventually he's like "I'm not knocking here. Let me know how you do." and so we part ways.

Well, that stuck in my head and kinda got me down but I decided not to let it. Went out knocking for 4 hours and only got 7. MOST people were dismissive and indifferent to me. Something that doesn't happen often, and many were just downright rude.

So I had to think "ok, it MUST be me, but why? I'm doing more than I have ever done before. I'm taking control of my life and all that jazz" and then the shitty "it's because you're getting better people be hating" thoughts crept in. And once THOSE thoughts crept in, it was game over. I couldn't be bothered but I trudged through all the rejections till the end of the night.

SO, like I said, I'm not one to believe the "they be hating because I'm so alpha" or any other Sour Grapes BS, BUT, one cannot deny that, despite being in a very determined and "I will kick this day's ass" mood, I got very poor results.

Yesterday I got 10 in 3 streets. Today I got 7 in like 5. Not good at all.


Anyhow, I always get confused about this, and I've often noticed that people respond to me when I start improving my life negatively. I don't like to say they be hating because it blinds me to whatever I could possibly improve. BUT, results are results.


If it IS all just a big shit test, not sure how to handle it.

Normally I would have stormed off and not given these people the time of day, but today I was much more assertive, which is supposed to be "good" but again, results are the results.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and then today when I got home I asked my brother how he was, and he did the usual "I'm alright" with sad tone. So I'm like "do you need some tissues?" He was like "What?" I said more slowly and pointedly "Did, you, need, some, tissues?" He's like "Uh, no." I'm like "good."

I've read that when someone throws a pitty remark like that, you're supposed to send an asshole comment their way, so there it was. Not sure if it's a good idea or not.

[Darkness]

I encourage you to start going to a crossfit gym as I do.

1. You will be in the best shape that you have ever been.
2. That is my daily social activity. It is so much better to meet nice people than in a regular gym. That is because you battle a common challenge, this creates bonds (from Cialdini likability principle, collaboration makes you like the others).
3. There is a lot of young hot women. It is not unusual that I end up in a class with 7 hot women and 3 guys.

I don't go for the too muscular women (there are few of them) or the lesbians (I haven't seen so much lesbians at a single location than in crossfit gyms and I am not talking about a San Francisco crossfit shop!) but there are plenty of straight very feminine and attractive women in better shape than any GF you may have experienced...

Granted there is not a lot of big boobs women (or fat women in general) but you will find out that firm and awesome a$$ is a given...

One warning though, the first 1-2 months are going to be painful. If you persevere, you will be handsomely rewarded... (and do not think doing crossfit if you smoke... or you'll have the most powerful incentive to stop!)

Did you go everyday those firsts two months? I’m keen on trying

[lano1106]

No. It is too tough. Despite really liking it, I couldn't go more than 3x/week. There is a ramp up period.

I went crazy with it. At some point, I was going 7 days/week but I did injured myself. Now, I go maximum 5x/week.

[SargeMaximus]

I encourage you to start going to a crossfit gym as I do.

1. You will be in the best shape that you have ever been.
2. That is my daily social activity. It is so much better to meet nice people than in a regular gym. That is because you battle a common challenge, this creates bonds (from Cialdini likability principle, collaboration makes you like the others).
3. There is a lot of young hot women. It is not unusual that I end up in a class with 7 hot women and 3 guys.

I don't go for the too muscular women (there are few of them) or the lesbians (I haven't seen so much lesbians at a single location than in crossfit gyms and I am not talking about a San Francisco crossfit shop!) but there are plenty of straight very feminine and attractive women in better shape than any GF you may have experienced...

Granted there is not a lot of big boobs women (or fat women in general) but you will find out that firm and awesome a$$ is a given...

One warning though, the first 1-2 months are going to be painful. If you persevere, you will be handsomely rewarded... (and do not think doing crossfit if you smoke... or you'll have the most powerful incentive to stop!)

Did you go everyday those firsts two months? I’m keen on trying

Dude, there are pms for off topic banter.

[SargeMaximus]

What a swirl of emotions I'm feeling atm.

Went out with my cousin and we had a good talk. I think he respects me now that I'm clearly more devoted to my craft. I swear he was avoiding me till recently. But who knows.

Anyhow, talked about performance and beliefs and stuff. He's a life coach and is on his way to making it a sustainable business. Good on him.

We talked about how some people belittle you or your achievements so they can feel good about themselves. It's not exactly true, it's just they don't want to feel bad about themselves and try to take the spotlight off their own shortcomings.

Then I came home and played video games while listening to songs me and my brother used to listen to as kids growing up. Lots of emotion in there. He seemed more close to me. I couldn't help but wonder if my remark had that effect on him. Either way, it was nice to have a prolonged moment with my brother.

Mostly, I just feel like I want to be able to give people happiness and take away their pain but I also recognize that being "mean" sometimes has the effect on people to get them in line. It's tragic to me somehow and I wish things were different but they aren't. Still, I hope to find a way.

I want to be more of an entertainer in sales especially. Good vibes. But not shallow "funnies", real good vibes that can change people's outlook. Help people see their life isn't bad and that it can get better. That the whole world is waiting for them to join in, and it's a much better place with them than without them. I wish I could pass this feeling on to the people I meet everyday.

Sometimes I can like today in sales I met a woman who was taking care of 5-6 kids and she was visibly flustered when she came out of the house to speak with me. I did my pitch and it was obvious she wasn't the homeowner and was a renter, but she kept talking and I knew she just needed a break from the monotony. She said they were about to eat hotdogs. Ah, to be young again. I told her I was jealous. She laughed. I told her I hoped she had a nice break and she laughed again. Small things like that I really do like but I want to be able to make a bigger difference in people's lives. I also don't want to be betaized because of that. I'm not an emotional tampon, I'm a fun guy. That's my goal.

Anyhow, I feel good how things ended tonight. Felt like I strengthened some relationships and got closer to my core.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention how today in sales I was at a door waiting for them to open. Next door, a guy on his porch was watching the game on his laptop and I could hear it. I was wondering how I would do my pitch with the noise in the background when I heard it turn down till it was quiet.

No one answered the door, but I went to that guy's house (despite me determining he was not qualified) and said "Excuse me? Hey it looks like you don't need my product but I just wanted to say thank you for turning the laptop down while I was knocking the other door. Have a great night."

Things like that.

[MasterEnki]

So today was… interesting.

It's one of those days where you're not sure if you're being shit-tested by everyone, if YOU, yourself, are shitty, or if you're in a new paradigm and this is just the way things are now.

For starters, took out the trash and saw my landlord. He's usually happy to see me. Today he seemed almost mad.

Then I went out to do sales, and got a random call from my cousin. He was in the area and wanted to knock with me. I was happy because I haven't seen him for a while but we've been in contact and he knows how much money I've been making lately.

Anyhow, I got in his car and we start driving around. Then he's just super disappointed by the area, saying it's no good and just taking a massive verbal shit on it (despite me doing well there yesterday as I mentioned in this journal).

Eventually he's like "I'm not knocking here. Let me know how you do." and so we part ways.

Well, that stuck in my head and kinda got me down but I decided not to let it. Went out knocking for 4 hours and only got 7. MOST people were dismissive and indifferent to me. Something that doesn't happen often, and many were just downright rude.

So I had to think "ok, it MUST be me, but why? I'm doing more than I have ever done before. I'm taking control of my life and all that jazz" and then the shitty "it's because you're getting better people be hating" thoughts crept in. And once THOSE thoughts crept in, it was game over. I couldn't be bothered but I trudged through all the rejections till the end of the night.

SO, like I said, I'm not one to believe the "they be hating because I'm so alpha" or any other Sour Grapes BS, BUT, one cannot deny that, despite being in a very determined and "I will kick this day's ass" mood, I got very poor results.

Yesterday I got 10 in 3 streets. Today I got 7 in like 5. Not good at all.


Anyhow, I always get confused about this, and I've often noticed that people respond to me when I start improving my life negatively. I don't like to say they be hating because it blinds me to whatever I could possibly improve. BUT, results are results.


If it IS all just a big shit test, not sure how to handle it.

Normally I would have stormed off and not given these people the time of day, but today I was much more assertive, which is supposed to be "good" but again, results are the results.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and then today when I got home I asked my brother how he was, and he did the usual "I'm alright" with sad tone. So I'm like "do you need some tissues?" He was like "What?" I said more slowly and pointedly "Did, you, need, some, tissues?" He's like "Uh, no." I'm like "good."

I've read that when someone throws a pitty remark like that, you're supposed to send an asshole comment their way, so there it was. Not sure if it's a good idea or not.

It seems to be a common thing to have occasional days like this.

I had a day like this recently, where people who are normally friendly to me were cold and harsh towards me. Like, these people don’t know each other, but were all cold / harsh on the same day towards me.

Other occasional days, people are super friendly toward me, and I have insane luck.

Most days are a mixture of both though.

I wonder the same thing, whether my vibe is just way off some days, or is it all just a coincidence (like all those people are in bad moods on the same day, for reasons unrelated to me).

[SargeMaximus]

Today was listening to more of "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and got very confused and scared. I decided to not do sales today because of it. But really, it was all a front for my laziness, even though the fear and confusion was real. I just wanted to get clarity but it was a convenient excuse to not work.

In the end, I realized I'm only harming myself by not working. Self-sabotage.

Also, I realized that a lot of my obsession with getting good in sales is actually a fear of success. I stop myself from working because I'm supposedly trying to figure something out, but in reality it's just me stopping myself so I don't succeed.

If I wasn't afraid of succeeding I'd just keep putting in the time and reaping the rewards. Well I will from now on. I feel relieved to have made this realization because it means I just have to hold myself accountable and recognize the triggers and I can be on the right track.


I've also got a powerful reward I give myself when I follow through with my commitments and I hope, over time, I can re-wire my brain to keep doing it.

Had a couple other epiphanies today and a online convo with a girl that went nowhere. Look forward to working with my PUA coach. I already paid him but it was too late last Friday so I asked him to reschedule our call for this Friday. Looking forward to it.

Hopefully I can tie up all the loose ends and have a clarity moving forward before the end of the year.

[SargeMaximus]

Reading the DMSI product page looking for the # of loops and ASRB info for ver. B (For Version 3.2-B, all tracks: 1 loop per day. 3.2-B: Use it 14 days straight, and then take 1 day off. (14:1)

I start ver. B tonight.

Anyhow, I think I found what may be contributing to my PE (just a theory), in the description it says:

- "Achieve pleasure and orgasm much more easily and more frequently during sex."

Definitely more easily lol.

EDIT: Oh yes and I see the anti-sniper is de-activated in 3.2 I do hope it remains de-activated. I'm happy to say I'm still STD free having been tested a few weeks ago. But I think the anti-sniper is too prone to misuse by the subconscious in ways that have the user anti-snipe women who may be "unhappiness causing" (for me, that's pretty much everyone. I don't like people much, and women are weird. So you can see how I might misuse that.)

[SargeMaximus]

Start ver. B tonight.

Talk with my PUA coach tomorrow and get paid. Exciting times. Especially since I'm getting some interest from DTF women online. I just keep f*cking it up. The last one I thought was a scammer till she kept replying normally then not at all.

I remember I thought the 8.5 was a scammer too but she turned out to be very real. Typically, if they ask to talk on some other site, in email, snapchat, or any BS like that within the first 2 messages they are scammers. FYI.

[SargeMaximus]

Had the Skype call with my pua coach. Absolutely amazing. This guy seems like he knows his stuff. Very excited. I have an approach to do later tonight as part of my commitment.

[SargeMaximus]

So last night I listened to ver. A. Forgot to take the ASRB. It may have been resistance.

My PE may be resistance too. I can no longer edge to porn, I cum so ridiculously fast, just touching my dick for a few seconds is enough to set me off. And, for all you porn haters, I watched WAY more porn while I was with my FWB so that has no bearing on anything.

ION, went to get some clothes today. H&M is such a cool store with lots of attractive women. On my way there I went through another store and a cute latina smiled at me as we held EC. BUT I'm in the "nothing will happen, so why bother?" mindset now.

I truly feel like I have no control over women's attraction for me and that is putting me further into an anti-social state and an "If I can't win, why play?" mindset. I don't see that as a bad thing either.

Online, having no success being myself. With PUA I was at least getting numbers and dates, being myself yields nothing at all.

What I really want is to master PUA. And I would if I had the money for my coach but I don't. And I live in a country that gets ridiculous winter so I can't do sales year round, so I can't make my money steadily which is stupid. I have a skill that I can't utilize fully because of the weather. I hate to play the victim but it seems like I'm victim to 2 things: the weather and women's attraction. I could overcome both with enough money, however.

Anyhow, feeling pretty down today. Taking the day off even though I shouldn't.

Also, so far I'm not seeing a lot of success without using PUA so I'm back on that next week. I gave it some time off to see if what thor said was true but the results (LACK of results) speak for themselves.

[Infinite]

I wonder how long it takes from the time you start listening to the program for them to start approaching you, and what you have to do to encourge them. I know with men that the ones that have self respect will not approach me unless I smile at them first.

[SargeMaximus]

I wonder how long it takes from the time you start listening to the program for them to start approaching you, and what you have to do to encourge them. I know with men that the ones that have self respect will not approach me unless I smile at them first.

Heh.

So me approaching women is a sign of low self respect now is it? Why are you in my journal?