(08-23-2010, 05:31 AM)Roy Wrote: It seems I react less to people around me.I think I talking slower lately.More
indifferent to stuff.And less thinking about stuff in my head.More present
and noticing the senses without labeling.It's like things are fresh and I'm noticing them.
I'm thinking about my life in if what I'm doing now is really what I want to do
with them.I like a lot less lately doing what other people are telling me.
I often get sort of feeling of mental overload.Like my brain is processing a lot
of stuff.
Stage 1 is definitely negativity removal stage.Last evening was pretty horrible.It was the mental feeling of overload and sort of horror,strong one.That came with more unpleasant memories coming back to mind.It was gone after a while.
Long exercise and stretching helped.
I guess a lot of my past memories don't get along very well with the new programming from the alpha set.
I had that same feeling for about two weeks straight, even though it occasionally still comes up now I'm glad it's not continuously anymore. I'm also going for 40 days instead of 32 since I sense that that there is a lot of garbage programming left.
A couple of days ago I started writing about my past and it was like I felt the pure form of that feeling as I was writing it. It became clear to me for a moment why my life took this direction. The thought behind it wavered off after a while, bit like a dream. I also started crying uncontrollably through the day after that.
What's strange is that my inner voice has changed very much, much more supportive, more understanding instead of self-critical and hateful. I'm also noticing lately that I'm less inhibited, more freedom in thought and in the way I express myself.
I'm fucking glad that I found this, thanks Ryan for posting that link on the MM message board. And thanks Shannon for creating all this.
Also good luck to you, Roy.
