Robstar's journey to alphahood

[robstar]

Alright guys.
I think its finally time I started a journal.
I'm currently on Stage 1, day 30 of AM6, my second run.
I've run AM6 once, and sex magnet once, that's my subliminal history. I also ran
Grow Taller 5G for about a month before I decided to start AM6 instead. Internal changes are more important than external
The main results I got from my first run of AM6 was much less neediness around women and people in general, and an improvement in my ability to lead things, personally and socially. During SM, I broke a year long dry spell in the first stage (which I assume part of was from the AM6 sex magnet lead-in) and had slept with 3 different women by stage 3. The first girl of those three, I'm still seeing as a fwb, every 1-4 weeks or so. The second half of SM I was extremely unfocused, unmotivated and lazy, so I felt that I needed another run of AM6 so here I am.

My background: Despite being a good-looking guy, I struggled with girls throughout highschool, and ended up losing my virginity shortly after my 19th birthday while traveling through Europe. My results with women since then have been decent but inconsistent, I seem to go through periods of good success and periods of nothing. In the spirit of full disclosure, I've slept with 20 women in the 6 years since I lost my virginity. Just to be clear I'm not a "notches on the bedpost" kinda guy, but I thought the info was relevant. In the past I've had trouble retaining relationships, usually because of a deep neediness, the girl I'm currently seeing is my longest-lasting sexual relationship.
My mission in life is of a spiritual nature, it is living maximum possible levels of personal freedom, happiness and love, and removing anything in my life that limits any of those three things. I sing, and have been involved in musical theatre for a while, so one of my major life goals is to be performing for a living. I also love the gym, powerlifting and looking my best. So one of my current business ideas is to start a business of shirtless singers for hen's nights, birthdays etc. Rather than hiring a stripper they would hire a guy (I will be one of the guys) to perform a set of songs, whilst also being shirtless and "serenading" the guest of honour. Girls love guys who can sing as well as guys who are ripped, so I'm hoping it could be a successful business
My biggest aim with AM6 is to increase my productivity and personal responsibility and to become a self-made man. Women are not the focus of my life at the moment, as the major struggles I had with resistance in my first run of AM6 is in getting my shit together in life, having a decent income, moving out of my parents place.

So far in my journey, I've noticed a lot of my old AM6 confidence that I had towards the end is returning. This time I'm noticing I'm being more playful and charming in social interactions, while this time in my first run I was actually noticing the opposite. So thats a great sign. I'm currently unable to progress much in my life as most of my time is being spent helping my parents move house and sell their old house. Then during September I will be traveling to Croatia with my dad, to visit his mom who is getting older and suffering from some dementia, so he wants to visit before he won't have a chance to. I plan on working on studying business and marketing during my stay, and setting up a business plan for when I return!

So thats it for now. I'll update semi-regularly, when I feel significant stuff has happened or come up, so I won't be telling you about every day if nothings really happening. Lets get this on the road!

[robstar]

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention!
Through my run I will be using something called the Release Technique by Larry Crane. It is a method of letting go of resistance and personal garbage through conscious decision, based on the teachings of Lester Levenson.
I know there's a lot of debate on this forum about "clearing" methods, but hopefully I can "clear" that up. I didn't do this on my first run of AM6, so it'll be interesting to see how my results compare.

[Benjamin]

Good luck man.

Hahaha I love the idea of topless singers. It's a shame that I basically would be ripped if it wasn't for the excess skin I have from losing so much weight, otherwise I could probably pull off something like that. Well except for the singing part.

[robstar]

Stage 1, Day 31

Ok so I'm gonna do a list of the AM6 dot points, first for the ones that I definitely got from the first run, and then the ones I still haven't acheived.
So first, here are the dot points I acheived 100% from first run:

Treat women as people to enjoy the company of, without taking them too seriously, needing them, or being easily upset by them.
Have released expectations towards women, which often lead to bad choices, actions, attitudes, thinking and responses.
No longer be, or come across to others as “needy”.
Be self sufficient and self reliant mentally, emotionally and otherwise.
Exude an aura of sexiness that makes you much more attractive to the beautiful women you encounter. The more beautiful they are, the more attracted and interested they will be.
Have a Zen attitude, which keeps you calm when other guys would lose control, thus demonstrating your self control and mastery of the situation – an Alpha male trait. (Losing it a bit now, bit of temper and irritation from the early stages of AM)
Display graceful, confident body language, which broadcasts your power and dominance to all, but especially females (for whom body language is a very important way of communicating, and thus determining the men they are interested in).
Acceptance of, and feelings of deservedness of, being treated well
Strong, centered masculinity and masculine presence
Social stability, skill and strength
Overcome any victim mentality you may have when you start the program.
Forgiveness of others without allowing them to walk on you or mistreat you.
Letting go of the past.
Wisdom enhancement.
Self healing, emotionally and mentally.
Destruction of jealousy and possessiveness, and replacement with self security, self reliance and self satisfaction

So then these are the one's I still need:

An improved on circle of friends manifestation sequence, so that the friends you manifest are genuine, long term friends who will help you for the long haul, instead of stabbing you in the back.
Self forgiveness.
Maturity improvement.
Supply your own love, affection and attention.
Refuse to justify actions that are not moving you forward, or accept that behavior from yourself.
Kill excuses and refuse to accept them from yourself or anyone else.
Seek the challenge.
Self validation.
Have let go of any negative self image, attitudes, thoughts and beliefs about yourself.
Have a powerful, positive sense of self respect, self esteem, self image and self worth.
Have unshakable self confidence.
Be unaffected by rejection.
Be self sufficient and self reliant mentally, emotionally and otherwise.
Take good care of yourself, your hygiene and your appearance, not just because you want to be attractive to beautiful women, but because it makes you feel good about yourself.
Be able to effortlessly approach any woman you want – and the more attractive you find her, the easier it will be.
Be selective about whom you spend your time with, and which women you give your time, interest and affections to.
Exude an aura of confidence, commanding presence and authority, which gets you respect, attention and obedience.
Display the attitude, thinking, actions and speech patterns of an Alpha Male.
No longer seek approval from others, nor be concerned with what they think of you or what you do or say.
Be your own man, who does what he wants, when he wants, how he wants, where he wants.
Be in control when dealing with women, and especially beautiful women or women you are interested in.
Be entirely unconcerned about “getting the girl” or achieving sexual interaction, which will make the ladies perceive you as higher status, higher value, and more worthy of both.
Be easily able and willing to walk away from people and situations you don’t like, and TELL HER NO — whether it’s to her asking for sex or anything else.
Be in complete control of yourself and your environment, and YOU will be the one who controls when, how, and with whom you have sex.
Develop and display a fantastic sense of humor, which will make you socially popular and attractive to others, especially beautiful women.
Be entirely comfortable in social situations of any type, whether they are familiar to you or not.
Be a better, higher and more refined quality of man.
Deserving respect from others
Self love and liking yourself
Valuing yourself
Destruction of negativity within you concerning yourself and others, and replacement with positivity
Self acceptance with continual striving to be better than you are
Destruction of laziness
Motivation boost
Doing what needs to be done, because it needs to be done, and that is the way of the Alpha
Extroversion enhancement and training
Overcome abandonment issues
Gratitude
Self trust
Self image of man, instead of boy
Leadership training and development

That's not to some I didn't get some degree for the ones on the bottom list, just not to 100%, so I won't count it until they're at 100%.

In other news, last night I had the finale of a community theatre show I was in. I was hosting and singing a couple of songs. I took some phenibut, which is a legal substance here that acts on the gaba-b receptors, making you very calm, prosocial and generally feeling good. I had never been as confident and at ease on stage in my entire life, and I thought these days I didn't feel much nerves, but this was a new level! Improv was flowing, my singing was great, the audience was super into it.
I had taken phenibut in the past but the confidence was a billion times higher than other times, so its possible that the confidence I've developed from stage 1 compounded the effects.
Starting stage 2 soon.

[robstar]

Another thing I should mention. I have a couple of addictions I'd like to be free of. First is porn which I have been using basically daily since was about 14 (24 now). Second is something called poppy seed tea, which is basically liquid opium. I'm not gonna go into how it is made on this forum. It was a daily thing for a while, now its less frequent, and I've gone through a couple of withdrawal experiences one of which was quite hellish.
So dropping these will be a part of my journey too.

[robstar]

Wow. Lot of fear of death dreams last night. Had cancer, was in a house fire, and there were more but I can't remember the specifics.

[robstar]

Starting stage 2 tonight. Here are the things I've noticed from Stage 1:

Lots of mood ups and downs. Going from super confident and happy to self hating and depressed in the space of hours.
Girls noticing me more, which could be from being leaner, don't really know.
Had a couple of random encounters with people stepping out of my way and saying sorry when they weren't even in my way. Like some invisible aura around me.
More prosocial which is the opposite of last run.
Feeling more loving towards my family, as opposed to resistant and irritable. Quite happy to be helping them move house as it's like I'm paying them back for all the years of care.
Constantly cycling between motivated and unmotivated to get my life in order and pursue my life mission and goals.
Crazy dreams, first half of the month has been about past women in my life and sex, second half has been more about fears and weird bad things happening.

Overall the effects seem more potent, which is probably a combination of it being the second run, and that I'm now playing the sub on headphones at night rather than on laptop speakers.

[Ryan]

Wow, pretty much exactly the same stuff I just went through on stage 1 again, 100%. I don't know if my first run-through of AM6 was effective due to my speakers though... but this one seems to be doing a good deal. Looks like you and I are about at the same spot.

[robstar]

Wow, pretty much exactly the same stuff I just went through on stage 1 again, 100%. I don't know if my first run-through of AM6 was effective due to my speakers though... but this one seems to be doing a good deal. Looks like you and I are about at the same spot.

Yeah that's exactly what I feel. I ran the first AM through my laptop speakers. This one I'm wearing headphones in bed, and I can definitely notice the difference. My dreams are much more intense and crazy. Are you noticing feeling slightly awkward in social interactions, like not knowing what to do with your hands and how long to hold eye contact etc? Me and a few others have noticed this. Despite that, people seem to be more comfortable and attentive around me, so its weird.

[Ryan]

Wow, pretty much exactly the same stuff I just went through on stage 1 again, 100%. I don't know if my first run-through of AM6 was effective due to my speakers though... but this one seems to be doing a good deal. Looks like you and I are about at the same spot.

Yeah that's exactly what I feel. I ran the first AM through my laptop speakers. This one I'm wearing headphones in bed, and I can definitely notice the difference. My dreams are much more intense and crazy. Are you noticing feeling slightly awkward in social interactions, like not knowing what to do with your hands and how long to hold eye contact etc? Me and a few others have noticed this. Despite that, people seem to be more comfortable and attentive around me, so its weird.

Man, I will say... In the 3 times of AM I am shocked to be experiencing some of that again in AM6. Yes, I feel uncomfortable in social situations briefly. I don't feel like saying much and when I do, I feel like I don't know what to say or how to respond, most of the time. Also things with hands. Eye contact, it's not so much on how long to hold it, but I do find myself doing less eye contact than before. At times I also feel like I'm in a fog as a zombie, so that contributes to my lack of words and generally being very quiet.

I too switched up my way of doing it, I instead do the trickling stream mix all night long while I sleep.

[Benjamin]

Interesting that several of us are noticing that now, I wasn't able to attribute it to AM6 until you guys started reporting it. Mostly for me it's the eye contact thing and feeling kind of awkward but despite that people treating me better.

[robstar]

Stage 2, day 2.
Feeling motivated to upgrade my style, and be dressed well more often. Gonna start throwing away old clothes that don't suit my current style.
Feeling uncompelled to do any direct releasing work at the moment. Gonna run with that until I feel compelled. Still staying open to let go of any resistance I feel throughout the day, and still going to meditate on stillness 15-20 minutes a day.
Spontaneous erections, which again, seems to be the opposite of last AM run. Is there a reason I'm getting the opposite of some of the negatives of last run? Lack of resistance maybe?

[SargeMaximus]

I've noticed that spontaneous erections are a sign of positive emotions.

[robstar]

I've noticed that spontaneous erections are a sign of positive emotions.

I'm definitely feeling good. Last AM run I was fairly depressed a lot of the time, so could be it.