Rebuilding resilience DMSI 3.3.1D

[Minititan]

So it's been a while since I used the subs. I stopped using USLM near the start of the December. My girlfriend ended our relationship last week and as a result I've been super motivated to work on myself. I hadn't contacted her and she hadn't contacted me. Obviously it's been a hard week, but the night before last I decided it was time to jump back into DMSI. I'm using it for the sexual side and just to boost my self confidence and self esteem again. That combined with a new drive to lose weight and get physically fit and work towards a better career.

Night one.
I ran the loops and slept like a baby. Had a few minor dreams. Some of them so bizarre. Like one I was in an antique shop and saw a limited edition version of a Blu-ray movie that I don't think exists, I picked it up and was staring at the box and had an overwhelming urge I wanted this, but I have no idea why it was such a big deal. A few other smaller dreams aswell that portrayed other seemingly mundane things that were amplified or exaggerated beyond reason.

Night two. Last night.
I got in two bed and started to play the loops. It was freezing cold and I was really hot. I could really feel the intense heat I hadn't felt since much earlier versions. I didn't even make it through the first loop the heat got to the point I was almost burning, I enjoyed the sensation, I was lying there thinking it's working. Suddenly my ex called me. Its almost 2am. I answered the call and she was terrified saying someone had been knocking at her door, leaving then coming back to knock again. I went over to see her. She was pretty shook up and we basically cuddled ourselves to sleep. It's about a 10 minute drive and I checked the streets around hers as I drove past for signs of anyone wandering around. But it was so quiet. I find this so bizarre. She has never called out like that before. We have no plans to rekindle and I'm confused to whether this was just coincidence or DMSI manifesting something. There is no longer range sniper in this version so I dunno if it could have even been the sub that influenced events, I just want to make the connection. The heat I was feeling would correlate to around the time she was first disturbed and as it intensified for me. The fear intensified for her.

Any opinions. Sub related. Or just a coincidence

[Shannon]

I doubt it is coincidence, but I'm also not sure what would have triggered it. It does sound like an auric projection though.

[Minititan]

Day three.
I forgot how hard breakups can be. I just feel numb. The eyelid twitching in my left eye that used to happen on earlier versions of DMSI is happening at times and sometimes it feels like a pulse near the ear. I dunno what I'm expecting DMSI to do, I guess I'm just looking for acknowledgement from women to make this time easier.

Long term goals remain as what I initially wanted. To be irresistible. But right now I'm just looking for a sign that it's beginning to work.

Continuing to work on myself and beginning a training program to get in shape physically as I've let myself go over the last couple of years. Actually feel really good from the exercise.

I feel the heat from DMSI at night when I'm listening. It can be intense at times. Just waiting to feel the heat during the day.

[Minititan]

I must admit I'm having a hard time moving on from my ex, nevertheless I've been running hybrid for the last two weeks and took the 3 day break Monday to wednesday. Last night I spoke to my ex for the first time in two weeks and the 2nd time in total since we broke it off.

Switched to plain trickling stream last night and I had a strange dream about one of my exes best friends. I've only met her once and it was by chance and not through my ex, but in the dream she was chilling with me, flirting heavily and telling me how stupid my ex was. I dunno if this is progress both in the healing and in executing DMSI but it's the first positive sign I've seen in a while after the last two weeks being mostly uneventful in the sub side of things

I know healing and clearing are disabled but does the sub still boost self confidence, self esteem, self image etc?

[Benjamin]

Yes, those are definately important parts of the goal.

[Greenduck]

So it's been a while since I used the subs. I stopped using USLM near the start of the December. My girlfriend ended our relationship last week and as a result I've been super motivated to work on myself. I hadn't contacted her and she hadn't contacted me. Obviously it's been a hard week, but the night before last I decided it was time to jump back into DMSI. I'm using it for the sexual side and just to boost my self confidence and self esteem again. That combined with a new drive to lose weight and get physically fit and work towards a better career.

Night one.
I ran the loops and slept like a baby. Had a few minor dreams. Some of them so bizarre. Like one I was in an antique shop and saw a limited edition version of a Blu-ray movie that I don't think exists, I picked it up and was staring at the box and had an overwhelming urge I wanted this, but I have no idea why it was such a big deal. A few other smaller dreams aswell that portrayed other seemingly mundane things that were amplified or exaggerated beyond reason.

Night two. Last night.
I got in two bed and started to play the loops. It was freezing cold and I was really hot. I could really feel the intense heat I hadn't felt since much earlier versions. I didn't even make it through the first loop the heat got to the point I was almost burning, I enjoyed the sensation, I was lying there thinking it's working. Suddenly my ex called me. Its almost 2am. I answered the call and she was terrified saying someone had been knocking at her door, leaving then coming back to knock again. I went over to see her. She was pretty shook up and we basically cuddled ourselves to sleep. It's about a 10 minute drive and I checked the streets around hers as I drove past for signs of anyone wandering around. But it was so quiet. I find this so bizarre. She has never called out like that before. We have no plans to rekindle and I'm confused to whether this was just coincidence or DMSI manifesting something. There is no longer range sniper in this version so I dunno if it could have even been the sub that influenced events, I just want to make the connection. The heat I was feeling would correlate to around the time she was first disturbed and as it intensified for me. The fear intensified for her.

Any opinions. Sub related. Or just a coincidence

I have shared emotional states with people I have been together with for a longer time. I could even just think about them and they would call me. I guess this is something like that, she felt strong fear, and you could share that emotion and felt it as a warm sensation. If you would be more sensitive, you maybe could have picked up where it came from.

[Minititan]

I feel like I'm doing something I've never done with a sub in the past. I feel like I'm stonewalling, I sometimes get warm when I listen in bed and my genitals may throb a bit as i first start listening but I'm seeing nothing happen. 1 dream in 2 weeks, no obvious real world signs. I've generally always been quickly affected by subs. So I'm not sure what's going on.

EDIT: After reading Shannon's journal I'm hopeful for the next version if it gets the same Magnus engine upgrade that LTU is getting. I know LTU is probably the ideal sub to run right now but in my current financial situation around 85% of my wage goes to bills and the rest is food and petrol. So not an option I personally have right now

[Greenduck]

I feel like I'm doing something I've never done with a sub in the past. I feel like I'm stonewalling, I sometimes get warm when I listen in bed and my genitals may throb a bit as i first start listening but I'm seeing nothing happen. 1 dream in 2 weeks, no obvious real world signs. I've generally always been quickly affected by subs. So I'm not sure what's going on.

EDIT: After reading Shannon's journal I'm hopeful for the next version if it gets the same Magnus engine upgrade that LTU is getting. I know LTU is probably the ideal sub to run right now but in my current financial situation around 85% of my wage goes to bills and the rest is food and petrol. So not an option I personally have right now

Maybe you are doing internal work that needs to be done right now and isn't really obvious in terms of external results.

[Minititan]

My mood has been lifted the last few days. I've been working out over the past month, nothing major just a few body exercises but today I weighed myself and I've lost almost half a stone in the last two weeks. I imagine DMSI is playing a part in this as my I'm not really aiming to become muscular I'm just looking to burn away some extra layers of fat, my trousers now all fit again which is a great feeling. They were extremely tight and now I'm finding I will probably have to wear a belt with my work ones that only 3 weeks ago were digging in and leaving chaffing marks. So buzzing with that and glad that's it's probably a sign DMSI is executing, as I don't feel my workout intensity should be able to produce those sort of results that fast. I'm not overweight by much, I was 11 stone 2 pounds. Now I'm 10 stone 8. Because of my height my ideal weight should be between 8 stone 8 pounds and 10 stone 6 pounds.

Still not noticed any of the design goal effects yet on this version, but ever since Shannon mentioned his work on part 3 of the Magnus engine I have started to feel a lot better about myself. Maybe it's TiD maybe it's placebo. But I feel something is potentially moving in the right direction for me to execute.

[Shannon]

For those of us across the pond, how many pounds in a stone?

[whome]

For those of us across the pond, how many pounds in a stone?

A stone is 14 pounds.

I'm not overweight by much, I was 11 stone 2 pounds (=156 lbs). Now I'm 10 stone 8 (=148 lbs). Because of my height my ideal weight should be between 8 stone 8 pounds (=120 lbs) and 10 stone 6 pounds (=146 lbs).

[Minititan]

Thanks for doing the maths whome. I didn't know which to use kilos, stones or pounds lol

[Minititan]

So last night had a dream that I was making out with my ex and it started to get sexual and she freaked out a bit and started asking for space and less physical contact. I guess this is my subconscious way of saying I still need to move on since she was essentially pushing me away after a while. Either that or it's the first sexual based dream with action from dmsi. Either way I'll take it as a positive that the sub is doing something, whether it's the fact we were both naked by the point she started pushing me away, so the sexual side of things could be a sign from dmsi of change or working on something. First sexual based dream I've had since rejoining the dmsi test group. The last was just verbal flirting. So fingers crossed things are in the process of clicking into place

[Shadow2200]

So last night had a dream that I was making out with my ex and it started to get sexual and she freaked out a bit and started asking for space and less physical contact. I guess this is my subconscious way of saying I still need to move on since she was essentially pushing me away after a while. Either that or it's the first sexual based dream with action from dmsi. Either way I'll take it as a positive that the sub is doing something, whether it's the fact we were both naked by the point she started pushing me away, so the sexual side of things could be a sign from dmsi of change or working on something. First sexual based dream I've had since rejoining the dmsi test group. The last was just verbal flirting. So fingers crossed things are in the process of clicking into place

Sometimes moving on can be a good thing