11-06-2010, 06:54 AM
I'm in the middle of stage four at the moment..
Something big has definitely changed within me. It's hard to describe but it feels great. It feels like a space has opened in my chest and that I can breath better. It's like their is a nice cool breeze in my heart.
I think I released a lot of pain last Monday. It was a hard day but I did some EFT and it helped to clean out a lot of stuck emotion. I also have a girlfriend who is really supportive and loving.
I had a realisation that seemed to have helped my emotional and mental well being. I've never really had any problem with myself, friendships or relationships. I tend to always be dating someone and I tend to get in relationships with women I really love. I'm grateful for every woman who has being in my life. I also have a pretty active social life and I love my friends.
The things that I needed were loving and accepting myself (particular accepting that I am already naturally attractive), having boundaries (accepting that it's ok to say no to what I don't want), loving and accepting my sexuality and getting out there and being social.
When I got into the pick up community I felt like I needed to fix myself in order to be more acceptable and more attractive to others. I felt like I had to change my personality and do things that were out of my character. I think its great to get out of my comfort zone and to challenge myself but I think the community take things too far and demands things that are unnecessary or unrealistic.
I've noticed that I have a strong feeling to get out and meet people. I met up with my mum yesterday in a cafe, I have being quite busy, especially with getting back into a routine with the gym and martial arts so when I got to the cafe I almost had a feeling of stage fright. However after being a bit social and saying hi to a few people my mood improved dramatically.
I'm starting to realise that getting out and meeting people and being social is a very necessary part of being a happy healthy human being. It's as necessary as being outdoors, exercising, eating, sleeping etc. I love using subliminals, doing mediation, natural grounding etc but I think a big part of me getting over social anxiety and shyness is a getting out there and talking to people even if it's saying hi to strangers in a cafe.
I noticed that my personality has changed to. I'm starting to banter almost effortlessly with people I know including my girlfriend. It's not a technique, it's something I do out of appreciation and love.
I've had some dark days but ultimately I have a lot of faith in the subliminals now. Sometimes they take time but they do work in the end. For me negative emotions such as anger, depression etc, can be a signal that I'm not living the way I want to. Many years ago before getting into self growth I might have being happy to not get outside and be social and exercise but now it's like I have to do those things just as a painter has to paint or a singer has to sing.
I realise that it's important to be happy now no matter what is happening in my life and I'm finding it easier to be happy. I don't need a relationship, sex or interactions with women in order to be happy but I also accept that there is abundance of opportunities for love, sex and meeting women. I'm also more accepting of negative emotions in that they are not something to be frightened of. I used to think that negative emotions should be got rid of as quickly as possible, now I realise that came from social conditioning. It's like our society has something against people being angry, sad, depressed when actually these emotions are a great feedback mechanism. If I stay inside and watch TV for a few days I'm likely to become unhappy and that's healthy (because my body and mind is telling me to get outside or do something active), it's just like if I'm thirsty and I need a drink, I don't try to rid myself of my first, I simply have a glass of water.
I still have an issue with porn/sexual imagery every once in a while but I think I have found a healthy alternative which has already seemed to have a positive effect on my emotions and feelings about my sexuality and feelings towards women in general.
Something big has definitely changed within me. It's hard to describe but it feels great. It feels like a space has opened in my chest and that I can breath better. It's like their is a nice cool breeze in my heart.
I think I released a lot of pain last Monday. It was a hard day but I did some EFT and it helped to clean out a lot of stuck emotion. I also have a girlfriend who is really supportive and loving.
I had a realisation that seemed to have helped my emotional and mental well being. I've never really had any problem with myself, friendships or relationships. I tend to always be dating someone and I tend to get in relationships with women I really love. I'm grateful for every woman who has being in my life. I also have a pretty active social life and I love my friends.
The things that I needed were loving and accepting myself (particular accepting that I am already naturally attractive), having boundaries (accepting that it's ok to say no to what I don't want), loving and accepting my sexuality and getting out there and being social.
When I got into the pick up community I felt like I needed to fix myself in order to be more acceptable and more attractive to others. I felt like I had to change my personality and do things that were out of my character. I think its great to get out of my comfort zone and to challenge myself but I think the community take things too far and demands things that are unnecessary or unrealistic.
I've noticed that I have a strong feeling to get out and meet people. I met up with my mum yesterday in a cafe, I have being quite busy, especially with getting back into a routine with the gym and martial arts so when I got to the cafe I almost had a feeling of stage fright. However after being a bit social and saying hi to a few people my mood improved dramatically.
I'm starting to realise that getting out and meeting people and being social is a very necessary part of being a happy healthy human being. It's as necessary as being outdoors, exercising, eating, sleeping etc. I love using subliminals, doing mediation, natural grounding etc but I think a big part of me getting over social anxiety and shyness is a getting out there and talking to people even if it's saying hi to strangers in a cafe.
I noticed that my personality has changed to. I'm starting to banter almost effortlessly with people I know including my girlfriend. It's not a technique, it's something I do out of appreciation and love.
I've had some dark days but ultimately I have a lot of faith in the subliminals now. Sometimes they take time but they do work in the end. For me negative emotions such as anger, depression etc, can be a signal that I'm not living the way I want to. Many years ago before getting into self growth I might have being happy to not get outside and be social and exercise but now it's like I have to do those things just as a painter has to paint or a singer has to sing.
I realise that it's important to be happy now no matter what is happening in my life and I'm finding it easier to be happy. I don't need a relationship, sex or interactions with women in order to be happy but I also accept that there is abundance of opportunities for love, sex and meeting women. I'm also more accepting of negative emotions in that they are not something to be frightened of. I used to think that negative emotions should be got rid of as quickly as possible, now I realise that came from social conditioning. It's like our society has something against people being angry, sad, depressed when actually these emotions are a great feedback mechanism. If I stay inside and watch TV for a few days I'm likely to become unhappy and that's healthy (because my body and mind is telling me to get outside or do something active), it's just like if I'm thirsty and I need a drink, I don't try to rid myself of my first, I simply have a glass of water.
I still have an issue with porn/sexual imagery every once in a while but I think I have found a healthy alternative which has already seemed to have a positive effect on my emotions and feelings about my sexuality and feelings towards women in general.
