08-11-2010, 04:34 PM
Here is an update.
I've being crazy busy with work so haven't had a chance to get out much but I think things are going in a very positive direction. I'm now one week into stage 2.
1. A female friend contacted me a couple weeks ago and we hanged out. The last time I saw her was about a year ago. At that time we dated a bit but then she said she just wanted to be friends. Now she wants to hang out again but I feel a lot more indifferent. She is a very good looking woman and really smart but I'm more relaxed around her, I enjoy her more as a person now and I'm not hoping for sex like I used to. I look forward to hanging out with her again but if we don't I'm ok with that, where as before I would have being really disappointed and upset.
2. I've had some negative stuff come up to be released but it's like as crap is getting cleaned away I'm figuring out who I really am and I'm feeling stronger. I know that it's part of the process and it's a good thing, even if there are days I feel shitty.
3. Although I think it's good to be giving and loving I also come to realise that it is important to think about what I want and go after that in a healthy way, not to just be doing what makes other people happy all the time.
4. I'm having a great connection with a woman I'm seeing. It's like there is just a great sparkle between us and I feel really present around her.
5. I'm going two months without porn and will probably quit entirely. I quit about a year and a half ago when I started doing natural grounding. Had great results from that but porn started to "sneak" back into my life again. Figured it was ok for me to look at it every once in a while but I recently came to conclusion that I would be happy without it. I can have all the happiness I want (including great relationships and sex)without it so why do I need it? I've deleted it from my computer and I've blocked my browser from going to certain sites. It's like chocolate, if it's front of me I'll eat it, if it's not there I won't even think about it.
6. Seems like everyone wants to hang out with me at the moment. It's fun but it's a shame because I have a lot of work on at the moment. I'm desperate to get back into Natural Grounding and going back to the gym and going out but my days are really full at the moment but not for long. I'm really looking forward to getting out in the world again.
7. I'm speaking my mind a lot more, in a considerate way but definitely saying what I think in conversation.
8. I feel like I have a better sense of humor. It's more spontaneous.
9. I'm getting rid of a lot of my video games. I still enjoy them immensely but I don't need so many. As much as I enjoy them there's other things I want to do with me time.
I've being crazy busy with work so haven't had a chance to get out much but I think things are going in a very positive direction. I'm now one week into stage 2.
1. A female friend contacted me a couple weeks ago and we hanged out. The last time I saw her was about a year ago. At that time we dated a bit but then she said she just wanted to be friends. Now she wants to hang out again but I feel a lot more indifferent. She is a very good looking woman and really smart but I'm more relaxed around her, I enjoy her more as a person now and I'm not hoping for sex like I used to. I look forward to hanging out with her again but if we don't I'm ok with that, where as before I would have being really disappointed and upset.
2. I've had some negative stuff come up to be released but it's like as crap is getting cleaned away I'm figuring out who I really am and I'm feeling stronger. I know that it's part of the process and it's a good thing, even if there are days I feel shitty.
3. Although I think it's good to be giving and loving I also come to realise that it is important to think about what I want and go after that in a healthy way, not to just be doing what makes other people happy all the time.
4. I'm having a great connection with a woman I'm seeing. It's like there is just a great sparkle between us and I feel really present around her.
5. I'm going two months without porn and will probably quit entirely. I quit about a year and a half ago when I started doing natural grounding. Had great results from that but porn started to "sneak" back into my life again. Figured it was ok for me to look at it every once in a while but I recently came to conclusion that I would be happy without it. I can have all the happiness I want (including great relationships and sex)without it so why do I need it? I've deleted it from my computer and I've blocked my browser from going to certain sites. It's like chocolate, if it's front of me I'll eat it, if it's not there I won't even think about it.
6. Seems like everyone wants to hang out with me at the moment. It's fun but it's a shame because I have a lot of work on at the moment. I'm desperate to get back into Natural Grounding and going back to the gym and going out but my days are really full at the moment but not for long. I'm really looking forward to getting out in the world again.
7. I'm speaking my mind a lot more, in a considerate way but definitely saying what I think in conversation.
8. I feel like I have a better sense of humor. It's more spontaneous.
9. I'm getting rid of a lot of my video games. I still enjoy them immensely but I don't need so many. As much as I enjoy them there's other things I want to do with me time.
