02-19-2012, 03:12 PM
I've being on both DFNW and Happiness and Joy for about a week now. I'm noticing some really good changes. I am definitely enjoying myself a lot more. I went out with my parents to have dinner last night and had a great time. I'm quiet at times but I don't mind, if I'm quiet I just relax and be myself where as before I used to worry that I wasn't being outgoing enough and would get down on myself. Last night that didn't happen and if anything I because more outgoing because I relaxed and let myself be who I was. I found that I joked around a lot more and enjoyed myself in an effortless way.
Last night I had a dream that I was going to be in a walking race and everyone was preparing before the race started. For some reason even though I was in race with professional athletes I felt really confident and that I could win the race. It was an unusual dream for me so I'm sure that it was because of the two subliminals I was using. Today I went out with my girlfriend and had a good time relaxing and joking around.
I realised that the last couple years I have being way too hard on myself. Basically about two years ago my mums boyfriend died of cancer and within a couple months later my dad had a mole removed that turned out to be cancerous. It was a very scary time for us all although my family is close and we really support each other. Even though subsequent tests showed that the cancer had not spread from the mole it scared the crap out of me on some level.
One way I think I reacted was by pushing my career to the extreme and working way too hard. I worried that I was going to run out of time even though I'm only in my early thirties. In both 2010 and 2011 I started to become an emotional mess. Even though my dad has being doing really well I think the cancer caused me to panic. It's like I started to think about my own mortality and it might have made me into a workaholic. In the last couple of months I've slowed down a lot. I'm taking more time with my work and learning to enjoy my life again. I'm putting my health, happiness and well being as top priority because my career can only be enjoyed as much as I enjoy life in general. Also being burnt out and tired is not good for creativity.
I'm finding that my enthusiasm for music is coming back in a big way. Yesterday I spent the day finding new music that I hand't heard before. I've also being watching some David Lynch films and just learning to enjoy films for the sake of it again.
Also I went to the gym twice last week and really enjoyed it. I feel strongly that I will be exercising regularly now.
Last night I had a dream that I was going to be in a walking race and everyone was preparing before the race started. For some reason even though I was in race with professional athletes I felt really confident and that I could win the race. It was an unusual dream for me so I'm sure that it was because of the two subliminals I was using. Today I went out with my girlfriend and had a good time relaxing and joking around.
I realised that the last couple years I have being way too hard on myself. Basically about two years ago my mums boyfriend died of cancer and within a couple months later my dad had a mole removed that turned out to be cancerous. It was a very scary time for us all although my family is close and we really support each other. Even though subsequent tests showed that the cancer had not spread from the mole it scared the crap out of me on some level.
One way I think I reacted was by pushing my career to the extreme and working way too hard. I worried that I was going to run out of time even though I'm only in my early thirties. In both 2010 and 2011 I started to become an emotional mess. Even though my dad has being doing really well I think the cancer caused me to panic. It's like I started to think about my own mortality and it might have made me into a workaholic. In the last couple of months I've slowed down a lot. I'm taking more time with my work and learning to enjoy my life again. I'm putting my health, happiness and well being as top priority because my career can only be enjoyed as much as I enjoy life in general. Also being burnt out and tired is not good for creativity.
I'm finding that my enthusiasm for music is coming back in a big way. Yesterday I spent the day finding new music that I hand't heard before. I've also being watching some David Lynch films and just learning to enjoy films for the sake of it again.
Also I went to the gym twice last week and really enjoyed it. I feel strongly that I will be exercising regularly now.
