01-26-2011, 05:55 PM
Today was my 4rth day on stage 4 alpha 2011
and this is by far the weirdest most difficult stage I have ever done
even worse than woman magnet pre alpha
Its not all bad, there r moments that r amazing but one thing that ticks me off, or bothers
And I just sink into a spiral of self hate, shame and complete disconnect. I don't know wtf is going on,
I am getting. Half the time I am getting women hovering by my and the other half its like I have the plauge
Half the time I could give less about anything and half the time I feel needier than ever, hopeless, and totally incapable, I find myself caring about getting attention again and when I don't I feel invisible, then when I do get tons of attention I feel figedy and self concious, this might be sum deep gunk getting cleansed 975: I have also become completely dissastisfied with my life and am pushing my comfort zone all over the place then feeling like I failed, I also haven't felt this off talking to women in months, there sending crazy good signals and I keep botching it, my mind is also looping certain individual women in my head, I haven't felt anything like this in a LONG time, years.
on the bright side, I seem to be giving off a very positive vibe, despite all this people r in general very friendly and respectfull. I wouldn't mind any of this if I knew I was doing the right thing but I just don't know what to do anymore, breakdowns usually lead to the phoneix rising, so like I said Ill give it to the end of the week, I'm also adding seek the challenge sub and hope that eases things!
and this is by far the weirdest most difficult stage I have ever done
even worse than woman magnet pre alpha
Its not all bad, there r moments that r amazing but one thing that ticks me off, or bothers
And I just sink into a spiral of self hate, shame and complete disconnect. I don't know wtf is going on,
I am getting. Half the time I am getting women hovering by my and the other half its like I have the plauge
Half the time I could give less about anything and half the time I feel needier than ever, hopeless, and totally incapable, I find myself caring about getting attention again and when I don't I feel invisible, then when I do get tons of attention I feel figedy and self concious, this might be sum deep gunk getting cleansed 975: I have also become completely dissastisfied with my life and am pushing my comfort zone all over the place then feeling like I failed, I also haven't felt this off talking to women in months, there sending crazy good signals and I keep botching it, my mind is also looping certain individual women in my head, I haven't felt anything like this in a LONG time, years.
on the bright side, I seem to be giving off a very positive vibe, despite all this people r in general very friendly and respectfull. I wouldn't mind any of this if I knew I was doing the right thing but I just don't know what to do anymore, breakdowns usually lead to the phoneix rising, so like I said Ill give it to the end of the week, I'm also adding seek the challenge sub and hope that eases things!
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
