05-10-2011, 02:06 PM
I posted this in a response to Blueness's journal but I'll post it here as well since it seems relevant to my journal as well.
Stage 6 has made me very slothy as well, I think its a mixture of heavy 4g subliminal barrage and possibly the content of the program. I can bring myself to do whatever needs to get done but I have had very little motivation, passion, and inspiration to do anything. I feel driven, but with no inspiration or passion, its like a mechanical drive. Mentally I have a concept of what I want and where I want to go and I am putting in work where I know how; but my mindset feels very small and I am heavy a lot of trouble thinking clearly lately, its like there is a gravitational pull for me to come to rest at nothingness. I am really frustrated with this as well, it feels like caged animal syndrome but more like caged sloth than tiger!! lol I feel like Alpha built a rocket, but it cant launch itself lol. Despite the many benefits Alpha has given me, like you blueness, I feel my life has run dry. I don't know the next step, I feel ok with the uncertainty and am just looking/waiting for whats next. All I know is I need and want more independence and more resources but driving myself towards these things is proving harder than I thought.
Stage 6 has made me very slothy as well, I think its a mixture of heavy 4g subliminal barrage and possibly the content of the program. I can bring myself to do whatever needs to get done but I have had very little motivation, passion, and inspiration to do anything. I feel driven, but with no inspiration or passion, its like a mechanical drive. Mentally I have a concept of what I want and where I want to go and I am putting in work where I know how; but my mindset feels very small and I am heavy a lot of trouble thinking clearly lately, its like there is a gravitational pull for me to come to rest at nothingness. I am really frustrated with this as well, it feels like caged animal syndrome but more like caged sloth than tiger!! lol I feel like Alpha built a rocket, but it cant launch itself lol. Despite the many benefits Alpha has given me, like you blueness, I feel my life has run dry. I don't know the next step, I feel ok with the uncertainty and am just looking/waiting for whats next. All I know is I need and want more independence and more resources but driving myself towards these things is proving harder than I thought.
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
