05-03-2018, 12:12 PM
(05-03-2018, 09:48 AM)Raz Wrote: [quote='DavisMind91' pid='196238' dateline='1525366188']
Now's the time learn how to balance. Chances are you'll have to do some testing with your kindness. The people who don't return it should start to be eased out of your life, or you should find creative ways to set up win-win situations. That'll make it pretty fun to separate the leeches from the true friends.
I'm trying to find that balance for most of my adult life now
There are many people that have been eased out of my life, from kicking them out to cutting ties or slowly starving them out. They never understand. But that doesn't matter. So far everyone turned into a leech sooner or later, to the point that I am not having a closely knit social network anymore. Especially noticeable since starting with these subs some years ago, which made/make me weed them out like a master gardener.
But since the one-sidedness of energy transfer does persevere and permeate even my lesser social relationships, it seems to be something about myself that needs to change. I am not sure if balancing is enough. I am waiting for my epiphany.
Turning it into win-win sounds interesting though. Maybe I need to find a way to ensure a return of energy for everything I do. But that does sound tiresome, calculating and like being a major pain in the ass
But on the other hand I never learned to ask for favors or help from anyone. I don't want to rely on anybody. I see that as a weakness. But maybe I have to learn just that.
Food for thought. Thanks DavisMind.
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No problem, and remember that sometimes asking for help is smarter than banging your head against a wall and wasting time, energy, or any other possible resources. Self sufficiency is always good but not when it turns into the pride that ends up stifling you, or causes you to regress because you’re too stubborn to ask for help.
You also don’t have to depend on anyone per se. By what I’ve seen from my studies, the most successful people and groups in the long my run were interdependent meaning they worked together. Let’s be real. All humans use each other, whether or not it’s a symbiotic or parasitic relationship all depends on the level of mutual benefit involved with each party. It’s not weakness, it’s a means for long-term survival.
There’s also no need to keep score, just make others understand that you’re not the type to give freely to freeloaders and you’re more into helping those that help themselves. Hope that helps.
