04-05-2018, 01:30 AM
Last night I woke up and went straight into a thinking spree with all kinds of insights into my negative thinking and how thinking in general works. While welcome, I used SIA to get that thinking to stop and catch some sleep. Worked really well.
But I realized that PTPA is a more radical choice for me than I previously thought. While I have become a positive person on the surface (a lot of credit goes to BASE), deep down I am still negative about a lot of things. It is like Orwells doublethink, one level of thinking is always positive, while another level is constantly negative. Usually I just don't see the negative anymore, because my conscious thinking (imagine a flashlight) illuminates the positive stuff only, while the rest stays hidden in the dark.
External stimuli sometimes ring very true, and only then do I see the hidden negative side. It is like a resonance thing. Recently some lines out of a movie got me thinking about slow self-destruction. It is something a lot of us do. I certainly do it. And it is perfectly normal for me (although I don't destroy my self as effectively as I have done let's say 15 years ago; a little progress).
I am curious to see how deep I can probe with PTPA.
But I realized that PTPA is a more radical choice for me than I previously thought. While I have become a positive person on the surface (a lot of credit goes to BASE), deep down I am still negative about a lot of things. It is like Orwells doublethink, one level of thinking is always positive, while another level is constantly negative. Usually I just don't see the negative anymore, because my conscious thinking (imagine a flashlight) illuminates the positive stuff only, while the rest stays hidden in the dark.
External stimuli sometimes ring very true, and only then do I see the hidden negative side. It is like a resonance thing. Recently some lines out of a movie got me thinking about slow self-destruction. It is something a lot of us do. I certainly do it. And it is perfectly normal for me (although I don't destroy my self as effectively as I have done let's say 15 years ago; a little progress).
I am curious to see how deep I can probe with PTPA.
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
