PRA v2c Extravaganza (+DRS v3)

[Have at ye]

I'm such a moron. I nearly got into a whole lot of trouble, and nearly started demanding to be put in the mental hospital, over a mistunderstaning over my abusive nickname, which in my stupidity I found charming, and my genersoity, which made me into the laughingstock of all the women in the world (or at least all service providers/cashiers), and I got really scared. I kinda don't know how to get out of this mess using PRA and DRS. It's probably either/or or grounding shield 6.5G from now on.

EDIT a week later

Don't worry too much about this post, I started getting paranoid due to cognitive dissonance, which was a symptom of DRS v3 doing its job.

[Have at ye]

Furthermore, it turns out the nickname is the local equivalent of "dude" and I never realized this until now (that Sheriff thing. It means I need to stop giving away cigarettes so much). I feel so ridiculous right now.

[Have at ye]

Feeling a bit better, taking a little break from subs, but I really need PRA in my life. Considering what to do and how.

(Two weeks break, then the C-PTSD protocol with DRS)

[Have at ye]

Feeling pretty good now, crisis averted. Working through stuff. GSF primarily and healing.

[Have at ye]

DRS v3 is amazing. I'm noticing my entire crazy family is beginning to act in a way more, well, not sane way, but more comprehensible way. This is allowing me to finally do some gradualy healng on great many fronts, and am also gradually getting back to it when it comes to life-stuff (cleaning, laundry, etc.) and work-stuff.

[Have at ye]

Cut out energy drinks completely, smoking way less, on my way to quitting. Currently mostly chilling and healing and doing life stuff, but also back to singing practice. Not really interested in the ladies right now.

[Have at ye]

Feeling very calm, but also pretty bored. Still, decided to take it easy for at leastvthe next month while getting life stuff in order. Piano lessons are on hold, but I'm still practicing a little. So it is with singing practice.

DRS v3 with its new functions is actually allowing me to heal properly. A real game changer.

[Have at ye]

Lots of GSF getting worked through, especially when I'm sleeping. But I am getting restful sleep despite all that. Good stuff!

[Have at ye]

On the off days (until the 23rd). Feeling a bit more lively than on the on days, healing seems to be a bit more in the background. Getting some occasional interest in the ladies back as well.

[Have at ye]

I'm, like, really smoking way less, and even when I do, it seems to be a bit forced (by habit) even. This combo, PRA v2c + DRS v3, is simply magickal, I hadn't expected quitting two addictions (and a whole bunch of unhealthy relations - there was a term for that particular kind, but I kinda forgot. Inter-something? Oh, like co-dependent, yeah. I think that's that) just like that, *pow*.

EDIT

I'm also gearing myself back to my physical regimen. Dieting less than before (my parents have a habit of overfeeding, yeah), gotta re-think my dietary habits a bit to make it feasible (I'm at 95-97 kg right now, the goal is still 88-90 kg).

[Have at ye]

I left that organization which caused me to lose a singing gig, and now I'm feeln' lonely due to a lack of human contact (only regular friend I've left is pianist-bro). My crazy family came to visit and the only relatively sane person left is my father, who's been getting on in years. Otherwise, PRAing is progressing - I sleep normally, but wake up several times during the night because GSF removal is doing its thing most probably, in tandem with DRS v3 (which hasn't been as active as it had to be the first two weeks. There was some really bad mojo hanging over my head, and other bits Good to be rid of it finally). But there's good progress.

Pre-orderd DMSI 6.5G-B (DRS - no-FRM).

[Have at ye]

It feels to me like DRS v3 is fighting against the negative projections, extremely harmful projections, caused by slander (f. in. spewed by maroons I worked with and, say, my really bonkers older brother). I'm actually supplementing this process with a thingy and it's making me very calm and makes it easier for me to sleep soundly, finally.

Tomorrow we're back to days on for PRA v2c. Can't wait.

[Have at ye]

On day off 3 I started getting the angry boi effect back. Also my singing practice isn't as stellar as it was on DMSI, f. in. So I'm working on achieving the same/similar effect through technique. There's an audition I'd like to try for in September.

I'm really tired of all sorts of psychologists etc, with the current one I've actually taken to quoting my texts and such directly to her, otherwise she doesn't believe me based on my word alone and keeps coming up with nonsensical interpretations based off I dunno what, her omniscience? I might stop working with her. My psychiatrist is very good, though.

Can't wait to do my loops of PRA come tomorrow (I play my loops at around midnight and either chill or go to sleep).

[Have at ye]

I'm beginning to enjoy the healing process, it's why I decided to do the longer C-PTSD protocol in full. I should be finished with it by November 20th by my count. Then it's DMSI-time.

Wonky sensations: none to very little! These were apparently symptoms of negative feedback loops/bonds/cordings and manipulation, bad juju and all that. DRS v3 has taken care of these within, give or take, two weeks. They still sometimes appear, but I believe it's mostly a symptom of DRS v3 having to fire up against something strong.

I'm gradually becoming more energetic, a little bit bored even. Clearning up my apartment, practicing piano (returning to lessons with pianist chick in October!), practicing singing (planning to meet with pianist-bro to practice a little, maybe record something new, but that's not strictly necessary as I have some semi-decent recordings by now. I'm starting to enjoy shameless self-promotion over the Interwebz, though ).